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“Unlike Paul Blart, someday you’ll die.”

@podcastsoutyourass

- Travis Mcelroy
AJ • they/them • ace of hearts • mainly dnd stuff with whatever I’m into at the time in between • dm me for commission info. or if you just wanna chat! • nazis, terfs, radfems, and maps, fuck off • header is my art! more art in #aj’s art

horror movies are so much scarier when the actors look like an average sampling of the human population. and the house is a little messy

when everyone has veneers and the house is pristine and tastefully decorated: (in the back of my mind) these people were hand-selected for visual appeal. this is a set. this is a story

when the actor has a little acne and there are dirty dishes in the sink: aaaaahhhhh this is just like Me and My House ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

when everyone has veneers and the house is pristine and tastefully decorated: (in the front of my mind) these people had it coming

im having feelings about the uffington white horse again

so essentially there’s this cool horse drawn into the hills in england made out of chalk and it’s like 3,000 years old.

people carved trenches 3,000 years ago and filled them with chalk in the shape of a horse but what’s interesting is that if you fail to maintain the horse by adding new chalk regularly, it will disappear. for 3,000 years, we’ve been filling in chalk in this horse so it doesn’t disappear.

we’ll never know what the purpose of the horse was originally. we’ll never know if it had ritual or spiritual significance or if it was just art. but we do know that people maintained it then, and, even though the meaning of the horse has long been lost to time, we continue to maintain it now.

the people who made this horse are long dead, but they live through us still, don’t you think?

couldn’t agree more we’re best friends now

yesterday I had the thought "visual novel for normal people" (?) and halfway through making this image (which I thought would be really funny) I realized it was completely meaningless

Shaggy Rogers is a young adult human man that eats dog treats and his friends don't even care. They act like it's normal. Not only do they know he loves eating dog treats, but they know he'll do scary dangerous shit just to eat dog treats, and they use that to their advantage. "Oh you don't wanna get asbestos poisoning in the scary abandoned building? What if we fed you a dog treat?" And he says yes and he does it and eats it and they act like that's a normal thing for a human guy to do. But then again, he also eats 10 feet tall sandwiches in one bite, so maybe he's not even human. Still fucked up that they manipulate him like that though. But whatever. Forget I said anything.

Standard sword and sorcery fantasy film periodically interrupted by cutaways to an in-universe historian from a notional period hundreds of years after the depicted events explaining the film's various historical inaccuracies. There's a recurring tangent about how the film's protagonist is a conflation of three different guys, all of them much weirder than the end product of that conflation.

At one point the historian remarks that the film's principal villain probably never existed, but you can tell from their thousand-yard stare that there's some Poe's Orangutan level discourse about that topic.

tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it

this is one of my favorite bits about tumblr

the users seem to actually prefer text posts to anything else, and treat it as a chore to play a video especially with sound

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