i cant live like this

Strawbebbies

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

I sure hope so, I need to get to 3rd and Broadway in fifteen minutes, step on it.

I'm obsessed with the Bath & Body Works subreddit because there's only three types of posts and it's:

1.) Women in their fifties having the epiphany that capitalism and/or marketing is evil, but like. They don't realize that that's how capitalism and marketing as a whole are designed to work; they think that this is a unique type of evil that Bath & Body Works has invented. They'll be like, "It's sick and twisted that they just keep releasing new products that are inferior quality versions of their old products with a different label and then making them seasonal items so that people feel pressured to buy them before they can really think about it because they're worried they'll miss out!!! This should be illegal!!!" You're telling me, girl. You're gonna be soooooo mad when you find out about. The whole world.

2.) Level 1-2 Hoarders in denial showing off their collections of hundreds of candles and body sprays and lotions and then frothing at the mouth in the comments section when people offer support resources for hoarding and shopping addictions.

3.) The world's most iconic autistic women with a vintage Bath & Body Works special interest who don't realize they're autistic women with a vintage Bath & Body Works special interest trying to convince themselves that the lotion they thrifted from Goodwill that expired in 2002 isn't rancid, it's "macerated".

Actually, making this rebloggable only to add that there's a fourth type of post which is people posting pictures of horrifying fires that their candles caused and being like, "This is the sixth time my candle has almost cost me my home. What should I do? I am NOT going to get rid of it. It's a discontinued scent," and everybody being like, "Oh my god??? I LOVE that one, do NOT throw it away. Just get a candle warmer."

being in the heated rivalry fandom rn is like witnessing the olympics of gay fan fiction. authors who have been training for years in their respective fandoms all coming together to contribute some of the best work i’ve ever seen to this beautiful show. what a joy, what a privilege

whoever first pointed out that ilya americanises his accent around other people but not around shane i owe you my fucking life

also the idea of like when its just the two of them ilya can like just slip back into the more comfortable rudimentary accent he had at the start of their relationship :’) and that in itself being nostalgic for shane :’)

this would also be linguistically accurate!

i speak english the most in day to day life and also think in english sometimes. my accent in english is americanized, pretty indistinguishable from a native (excluding sets of certain phonemes like /rl/) .

but if i’m really tired or spending time just around my wife (with whom i speak english), i sometimes switch to what i call ‘lazy english’.

what this usually consists of is i allow myself to speak english with the russian /r/ phoneme that is more natural for me, i drop articles, replace continuous and future tense with simple present, use the ‘….,yes?’ construct, avoid contractions (bc the verb ‘to be’ is dropped/implied in russian, so contractions aren’t always natural)

for example, when i’m in ‘lazy english’ mode, this is how my speech varies:

‘i’m making the bed’ = ‘i make bed’.

‘you’ll help me later, right?’ = ‘you help me later, yes?’ (for this one, in russian, the same phrasal construct ends with the word ‘yes’ instead of the word ‘right’)

‘can you give me a tissue?’ = can you give me tissue?’

‘where’s the pen? do you have it?’ = ‘where is pen? you have?’

if you pay attention, you’ll notice that a lot of these patterns also occur in ilya’s speech, especially earlier on. that’s why i’m particularly impressed with the writing of his dialogue — it doesn’t come across as stereotyping/caricatural because the way he speaks english is consistent with russian linguistic/grammatical rules. this is often how russian-speaking people speak english when it is their second language and they’re still learning.

i like to imagine ilya reverting to ‘lazy english’ or speaking in a similar manner to me around shane. it is linguistically consistent and a sign of comfort/deep familiarity with the person.

The next layer of linguistic accuracy would be for Shane to start occasionally modulating down into a similar "lazy english" that's reflective of Ilya's style. I forget the technical term for this, but it's a legit thing in linguistics -- if there's someone you love/admire/respect and you spend a lot of time with them, you unconsciously start picking up and mirroring a couple aspects of their idiolect (like a dialect but rather than being spoken by a group, it is a single person's unique linguistic fingerprint), whether that's gestures, vocabulary, or speech patterns.

So when Ilya says something like, "Where is pen? You have?" then over time Shane's response might naturally shift towards, "Yes, I have."

he already does this!!!

you still want?

i still want

!!!!!!

literally what the fuck do you mean its still january. how is that remotely possible. its been six months minimum

much to be said about the fact the costume designer for heated rivalry said that shane and yuna are both wearing linen in the coming out scene on purpose. because she wants it to be obvious that yuna buys shane clothes. and then shane subsequently makes active choices to wear those clothes when he is around her because he wants her to know that he loves her. but he also wants to show that he can be what she wants him to be by wearing what she wants him to wear. not sure if i have the strength to say it. in fact i need to lie down

coming back to this i think it is so interesting how in the most recent comments she made about the costumes she said that yuna buys shane linen because it's what she wears, so she knows that it's nice and comfortable, but it requires "more upkeep than he is interested in", which is why it's not ironed and he doesn't seem to take care of it. that particular phrase is so awesome. something his mother has given him "Requires More Upkeep Than He Is Interested In" but he keeps it and wears it and carries it around with him to show her he appreciates that she gave it to him. in the books he wears a shirt related to a charity event to signal to his parents that he's a "good person". remember me, your son, who does charity events? remember me, your son, who is a good and normal person who does good and normal things? and this shirt does the same thing without the addition of a logo. remember me, your son, whom you love? you bought me this shirt. and i'm wearing it not only because i love you but because i need you to remember that you love me

okay boys let’s do 400 interviews where you read the same tweets over and over again. next week we need you to record audio porn. the gay one you’ll do some photo shoots. you, other gay one, you’re needed on a podcast appearance. okay then we have our late night debuts the next day we have morning talk shows okay then you’ll present at the golden globes, sure what the hell. now you’re walking the runway in milan for fashion week okay don’t think about that too much because this weekend we will shoot you into space so your spacesuit fitting is tomorrow morning at 6am

“These new shows are just too expensive to make!” cry the people in charge of the choices that make shows too expensive to make

I watched a bts clip on ST: Picard about how expensive things were and that’s why we get such short seasons now then the next clip was about how the starship prop models were plated in real gold.

Okay so step one: don’t plate props in actual gold. This will save at least several dollars.

I made a bat comic and now you have to look at it

Edit: Apparently it's "not bad" so I changed the phrasing. Um hello thousands of people. You, uh, you really don't need to follow me over this one, uhh, it's not representative of my normal posting habits.

Edit 2: Ok that's enough, my poor inbox is dying. You can have the post back when people stop randomly following me. Maybe.

Edit 3: Notes seem to have died down and random new followers are back to like 3 per day, so reblogs are back on. Behave.

Holy fuck you illegally downloaded a cardigan

*weeps uncontrollably at 9 o'clock in the morning*

God, I love randos on the internet who just want to be kind.

if you ever see me getting manipulated by a woman twice my age just know im exactly where i want to be

you gotta include this photo

ağlıycam

This is it. The internet has come full circle. You can all go home now. We’re done.