Pinned
Hello, I'm praoubl aka voidstar of the gray system.
pronouns: it/they/star/bit/fox
neurotype: autistic
gender: no
orientation: aroace
kintypes: fox, robot, cloudcat, and black hole
interests: math, science, philosophy, anarchism, identity, geology, space, mechanical engineering, modded minecraft, classpects, undertale, deltarune, paranatural
People on twitter are still people. By the way.
I dunno, I saw a post that’s gotten stuck in the back of my head. Where someone was like, you ever notice how the “male loneliness epidemic” stops existing when you go outside.
I don’t even know if male loneliness epidemic has become like a MRA dogwhistle, but I can’t stop thinking about it like. If you go into a social setting and you don’t see any of the people you’ve heard say are struggling socially, why would your conclusion be “guess those guys were faking it”?
BTW if you are someone who experiences romantic attraction but doesn't really want to be in a romantic relationship I think that's awesome and cool you don't have to be aromantic to want to be single and I think it's important to recognize alloromantic people who don't want romance, because not wanting romance is normal, period. It's not just us aromantic people who get a pass because we don't feel romantic attraction, romance is not a requirement!!!
please for the love of your mental health do not force yourself to date if you're not ready. it sucks ass for everyone, involved or not
Basically, it boils down to this:
What all this adds up to is that even leaving the moral dimension of the act aside, from a purely pragmatic perspective, reblogging that callout post accusing a random trans woman you've never heard of of being a dogfucker or what-have-you is an action which, in a worst-case scenario, will contribute to ruining an innocent person's life, and in a best-case scenario, is likely to accomplish nothing whatsoever.
Folks often justify reblogging callout posts without performing due diligence under the rubric of "better safe than sorry", but any realistic assessment of the likely outcomes will tell you that the true "better safe than sorry" course of action is to keep your damn mouth shut!
"But I thought we were supposed to always believe allegations of sexual misconduct" well, the thing is, "false allegations of sexual misconduct are rare" and "false allegations of sexual misconduct disproportionately target specific visible minorities" are both true statements. There's no algorithm for being a good person – you really do have to think this shit through every single time it comes up.
What if I just came out with a radical pro-cheating stance. What would happen then.
I don't know if I can explain this without sounding like an asshole.
I think cheating, in fiction, is pretty hot. I think that's like a normal thing to think. But when you talk about it there always has to be a preface with like of course real cheating is abhorrent and awful and the worst thing ever. And I dunno, I just kinda resent the sanctity that people put on relationships like that.
The contrarian in me wants to take the stance that cheating is cool, actually. But also it's only ever in the abstract, I'm never really picturing a cheater or someone cheated on in that statement. That maybe makes it a dishonest statement.
I wanna poke at this idea again, see if it does something.
I think what I feel is some amount of frustration at the fact that exclusivity will always be treated preferentially, always be considered the default. Wanting a relationship without exclusivity, open, poly, whatever, will always require a conversation, a serious conversation to broach the very idea. You will never need a conversation to say that 'I care very much about being the only person you have sex with and if you have sex with someone else I will be emotionally distraught.' Even if someone is open to it, that will always be the standard which you are pushing against.
anytime someone writes a post about aromantic people in a relationship and specifically aroallo people there will be some asshole in the notes going "as long as you don't lead the other person on it's fine ❤️" and it pisses me off because I *know* they mean "explain everything about your attraction to the other party or you're a selfish bitch" and it's so fucking infuriating. how about YOU explain yourself for a change. how about YOU explain how important romance and/or sex is to you. how about you stop thinking of yourself as someone who doesn't have to be vulnerable and tell the other person what you want. how about that
I reeeeaaalllyy don't like how widespread gender realism is in supposedly feminist circles on this website. You are one step away from becoming a radfem.
"Woman" is a socially constructed category and "women" have nothing intrinsic in common, other than viewing themselves as whatever "woman" is defined as in their society, or being judged by the standards of whatever "woman" is defined as in their society. Gender is as "real" of a category as race or neurotype, which is to say, it's not objectively real at all. It's an artificial category created on the basis of perceived shared traits among certain people. The people came first, they were grouped into their artificial category later. There are no intrinsic differences between men or women or nonbinary or multigender people.
Do you actually believe gender is a social construct or are you just mindlessly repeating the phrase because it sounds cool
Watching the queer way of interacting with gender go from "Gender is a social construct that can be fun to play with but at heart is a dangerous toy because it has been used for generations to oppress and divide people." To "Everyone has a perfect crystal of true gender which you must deeply introspect to discover, and you can be wrong about its nature." Has been a disaster.
cis people are wayyyy too damn comfortable with making jokes about men getting pregnant. and frankly so are other trans people.
idk what trans man/transmasc needs to hear this but no you are not in on the joke. 9/10 when somebody makes an mpreg joke they are not laughing with you. they aren't even really laughing at you. they are laughing at a caricature of you. they know what a trans man is and yet have so little care about trans men that their first thought when it comes to pregnant men is the hilarity of a cis man being feminized (often forcefully) and how amusingly grotesque or amusingly erotic they find it. you are not in on the joke. you were never in on the joke.
like. :( this was a funny episode otherwise but this was just really uncomfortable and upsetting to see. especially since i know dropout cuts out certain prompts in editing for a lot of reasons, so this promot went through so many different steps and nobody brought up how this might come across? or nobody thought it was bad enough? and i kept waiting for the contestants (one of whom literally is genderqueer!) to work into their jokes something make it clearly about cis men or smth, but. no. and how am i supposed to take that y'know?
i think my biggest problem is that these jokes boil down to "isn't it so WEIRD that a man is pregnant/has breasts???? isn't that so STRANGE?????" and whether you take that the route of "this is funny because its disgusting/disturbing" or "this is funny because its extremely erotically charged, often in a way tied to humiliation/control" you are deriving comedy from the idea of a trans/intersex man's body just. existing naturally. there is no greater depth it is just "wouldn't it be funny if a man was female in some way? but still identifiably masculine but in a way that has been corrupted by the sexual embarrassment of the most stereotypically female act? isn't that amusing?" and at worst its another example of how, when people try to get one over on cis men through the route of gendered/sexed humor, it frequently relies on leveraging trans & intersex men as examples of a man at his most failed, embarrassing, sexually dominated. and the worst part is again that there's not even a cursory attempt to diffuse this charge by the comedians making these jokes, there isn't any acknowledgement of what they are talking about. it's like anyone who's ostensibly a trans ally enters this pocket universe where trans and intersex men don't exist whenever one of these jokes comes around. and how am i supposed to feel about this!!!!!!!!!!!!
also its funny that the only time I have ever seen any meaningful public outrage about these jokes was towards Lil Nas X with his Industry Baby promotional stuff. which i frankly didn't even mind. because while obviously there was an element of "man pregnant!! how strange!!" because of Society, but to me the humor was primarily "a literal reference to the album title" + "i have a new album coming out, so i am depicting myself as literally pregnant with my new album." if he had been a cis woman, it still could've been funny, because there was more to it than just the shock factor of him being a man (although that is mostly how people took it).
but yeah. the only time ive ever seen anyone get any meaningful pushback against these kinds of jokes, was when it could be used to "call out" a Black GNC gay man who was already getting a ton of homophobic hate. how interesting.
"boypreggers" "boyvulating" "boybortion" do you know that a black trans men had the cops called on him because he went to an OB/GYN? or how a black trans man had doctors try to pressure him into getting an abortion, on top of other racist and transphobic medical mistreatment that caused him to have a mental breakdown and develop PTSD after giving birth? or how a black trans man was arrested for shoplifting because he was pregnant and they assumed his baby bump was stolen clothes? or that a pregnant trans man had to jump out of an uber with his wife and run away from the car because the driver was threatening him for being a pregnant man? or how a pregnant trans man was murdered by his abusive husband and misgendered across the news? do you think about any of this ever? do you remember your mpreg obsession when you start talking about reproductive rights or do you immediately start talking about "men controlling women's bodies" without a hint of fucking irony? has your fetishization and mockery of male pregnancy actually translated into any meaningful support for men who can get pregnant?
& i wanna make this crystal clear my point is not "everyone who makes these jokes knowingly is doing it to mock trans men." many people who make these jokes DO think they are doing it in xyz totally lighthearted unrelated to trans men way you think justifies this. my point is that no matter what people think these jokes are about, they are indicative of how we think about and engage with the reality of trans and intersex men. at the very least i want people to think twice before they throw around these jokes like there's no deeper meaning here.
How it feels being misgendered countless times by strangers the one time I leave the house and being talked to like I'm a child because everyone sees me as a confused girl and coming home to find an entire community of people arguing that I have male privilege and if I talk about my struggles I'm an "incel": 😍😍😍😍 I love the internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God. This was supposed to be a safe place for me
yknow what reiterating on my tags on the last post i reblogged
if you're a trans person who's perfectly fine with the body they were given by nature then you're real as fuck for helping fight sex bias
men don't have to look or act male and women don't have to look or act female, and the problem with thinking otherwise gets even more obvious when you consider any other gender under the sun. if you're nonbinary you don't have to look androgynous, you can breast as boobily or hair as chestly as humanly possible if you wanna, go for it mate, be happy
This kind of ties to conversation about queer-flavoured russophobia I’ve been having on my yaoi sideblog but it’s not about yaoi so I’m posting it here, but I do love when western queers balk at the assertion that the idea(that is often used by our governments to criminalise healthcare and same-sex activity) the LGBT movement is western export actually does have basis in reality. And then in same breath they’ll be like Marsha P Johnson is the Patron Saint Of Being Trans and it’s like. Why not Sally Mursi. Why not Hanan El Tawil. Why not Jin Xing. Why not Maryam Khatoon. You probably don’t even know these names.
Like I am down to venerate literally any trans woman in history by virtue of that alone, and I do, but you all do understand that frankly the entirety of US queer history has done dangerously close to nothing to the advancement of our liberation on the other side of the globe, right? Not nearly enough for you all to be acting like these western figures are universal figures, or expecting gender and sexual minorities from the imperial periphery to agree that this is a culture and history that is meaningfully shared. It isn’t shared. It is imposed.
Does he have "nonbinary vibes" or is he just east asian
Important addition
“If a society puts half its children into short skirts and warns them not to move in ways that reveal their panties, while putting the other half into jeans and overalls and encouraging them to climb trees, play ball, and participate in other vigorous outdoor games; if later, during adolescence, the children who have been wearing trousers are urged to “eat like growing boys,” while the children in skirts are warned to watch their weight and not get fat; if the half in jeans runs around in sneakers or boots, while the half in skirts totters about on spike heels, then these two groups of people will be biologically as well as socially different. Their muscles will be different, as will their reflexes, posture, arms, legs and feet, hand-eye coordination, and so on. Similarly, people who spend eight hours a day in an office working at a typewriter or a visual display terminal will be biologically different from those who work on construction jobs. There is no way to sort the biological and social components that produce these differences. We cannot sort nature from nurture when we confront group differences in societies in which people from different races, classes, and sexes do not have equal access to resources and power, and therefore live in different environments. Sex-typed generalizations, such as that men are heavier, taller, or stronger than women, obscure the diversity among women and among men and the extensive overlaps between them… Most women and men fall within the same range of heights, weights, and strengths, three variables that depend a great deal on how we have grown up and live. We all know that first-generation Americans, on average, are taller than their immigrant parents and that men who do physical labor, on average, are stronger than male college professors. But we forget to look for the obvious reasons for differences when confronted with assertions like ‘Men are stronger than women.’ We should be asking: ‘Which men?’ and ‘What do they do?’ There may be biologically based average differences between women and men, but these are interwoven with a host of social differences from which we cannot disentangle them.”
— Ruth Hubbard, “The Political Nature of ‘Human Nature’“ (via gothhabiba)
Yes.
Here, have a study (x) showing that mothers underestimate their daughter’s physical capacity from as young as 11 months old (though in reality it’s identical to that of their son’s at the same age). And if you think that parents acting on those expectations won’t alter their children’s development, then I have a sloped bridge to sell you.
u have a responsibility to understand ur own privilege btw, there really isn't a way around it. if ur white u gotta learn about structural racism, if ur a man then u gotta learn about patriarchy, if u live in the first world then u gotta learn about imperialism. u have to be a class traitor, no excuses
