Trying to maintain my swagful whimsy and optimism rn in the face of an anti-whimsy society

*test driving a car with the salesperson in the car with me* hey do you mind if i test the sound system with my music?

yeah sure go ahead

*connect my mp3 player*

*song starts and the vocals are clearly my voice*

i love crashing my car, crashing the car i'm driving is my favourite, the only thing i love more than crashing cars is crashing cars with other people in the car with me

office chair hungry, feed it skirt hems

You wanna let your long skirt get tangled up in my wheels so bad

chair Wheel perfec t size for put skirt in to n\ap! inside very Soft and Comfort skirt not get stuck put hem in Chair Wheel. Put Hem In Chair Whe. no problems ever in chaair wheel because good Shape and Support for skirt hem weak of big skirt hem. Achair wheel yes a place for a hem put hem in chair wheel can trust chair for giveing good love to skirt. friend chair

Never been touched by a man or woman and to top it all off my pussy doesnt even work. Dollar store charcuterie board for dinner

beer before spider hurricane spider

This is a silly goose check in. Serious geese keep scrolling.

Things I'm beating

* dead horses (famously)

* the alogations

Things I'm not beating

* my meat

* my self up

* the alogations

14-1 like to reblog ratio? You guys really hated this post

Yup thats me

Yup thats me

Yup thats me