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Hello,
Here’s my name/nickname+pronouns page. Please use he/him for me, and refrain from using they/them, she/her, or it/its when referring to me.
Here is my “do not interact” list, and here are my rules and boundaries. Please respect them. I will remind you of them if anything, but if you do not respect them I will unfortunately have to block you. I will update both as needed.
Here is the tagging system for this blog!
Unironically I think the early to mid 20s age group in America has unbelievably bad consent boundaries on all levels and so much language to defend it but this makes me sound like elon musk if I say it however the commonality of someone who will be like “I had 47 panic attacks and it’s your fault” if you tell them no is insane
I rejected someone and got called “the scariest person I’ve ever met” with so much therapy speak interspersed like alright okay alright okay alright okay
“You just say whatever you’re thinking and I don’t know how to handle it” was verbatim part of this conversation. Also everyone hates to see an autistic bitch
When I was in this age bracket, there was a huge emphasis on improving consent culture via graceful rejection, and it's gone by the wayside. Which sucks.
Twice in my youth (once in high school and once in college) I was in situations where I was asking someone out and I could tell they were calculating in their heads the risks of rejecting me, and both times I said, out loud, "you can say no, I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't prepared for either answer." And then they said no. This wasn't some spark of special wisdom I had - I knew to do it because feminist conversations among my age group brought it up regularly. This isn't happening nearly enough anymore.
More recently, I was really glad when we got to "rejection sensitive dysphoria" in my IOP program and it was one of those symptoms where the therapists really emphasized how it affects others. Because it does.
Being someone who cannot handle rejection makes you much more likely to violate boundaries, and yes, that includes sexual ones. Yes, you, reader who has never hurt a fly. If you don't want to stumble backwards into sexually assaulting someone, fix your RSD meltdowns. If you keep them up it's only a matter of time. Because if you're nice enough to interact with, but are known to have RSD meltdowns, guess what happens when your friends and acquaintances need to reject you?
shoutout to people who are rejected from neurodivergent communities.
neurodivergence is supposed to be a welcoming community for everybody. and we have a long way to go before that will be the case. but we're working towards it, one step at a time.
(Tw for brief mentions of mental health struggles)
It may take some time and patience, but…
It IS possible to survive hallucinations and thrive.
It IS possible to survive paranoia and thrive.
It IS possible to survive suicidal ideation/attempts and thrive.
It IS possible to survive mood swings and more extreme, long-term elevated moods/mental states and thrive.
It IS possible to survive intrusive thoughts and thrive.
It IS possible to survive SH and thrive.
It IS possible to survive SA/CSA and thrive.
It IS possible to survive traumatic experiences and flashbacks and thrive.
It IS possible to survive depression and thrive.
It IS possible to near-constant panic attacks and still thrive.
It IS possible to survive through cognitive changes and changes to your abilities and still thrive.
Your mental illness is not the end. Your disability is not all that you can be. Your struggles will not end you inherently.
It IS possible to find acceptance. It is possible to find people who care about and love you or to grow to appreciate your inherent self worth.
It is not a moral failing to struggle. You’re lovable. You’re valuable. You’re alive, and that alone means that you have a chance in this world.
It’s going to be okay. Hold on, it’s okay to find that balance between rest and fight for a better life, in whichever way that best fits you.
Don’t give up.
YESSSSS WHO IS UP RECOVERING IN THIS BIH?!
The idea that Testosterone is a “more powerful” hormone than Estrogen is just blatant sexism btw.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you’re not any less lovable or valuable because of your disability
You also don’t need to compensate for being disabled. It’s okay to just be
Not fake 😊 you deserve positivity just as much as anyone else!
Being schizospec means psychosis, disorganized thoughts, yes. But there’s also a wide variety of negative symptoms that can be equally if not more disabling that are often overlooked.
While positive symptoms include the presence of things, negative symptoms are reduction/absence of certain things.
Memory problems, Language difficulties, concentration issues, impaired social cognition, impaired executive functions, Anhedonia (reduced pleasure, especially with tasks), Avolition (reduced motivation), amongst others.
These can be very disabling! And on top of that there are many side effects from medication that may amplify these, or cause other disabling and potentially permanent side effects.
I think education on schizospec disorders is really important! It’s not just psychosis, even if hallucinations and delusions may be present.
If you’re schizospec and dealing with these issues - I see you! You’re not alone, you deserve to be treated with respect.
This! Also, being schizospec doesn’t always mean hallucinations and paranoia 😊 thank you OP for this amazing post. /pos + gen
Alright kids say it with me
thank u
You can have harmful beliefs and harmful impulses and harmful urges and not be evil. You can make yourself aware that these things are harmful and take steps to correct yourself and not be evil. You can walk around with the urge to kick puppies all goddamn day and as long as you are capable of redirecting that impulse to something benign then it doesn’t matter. I don’t know how else to say this
Yes, but you are missing the part, where this is okay for everybody, except for me.
As someone who has struggled with that exact thought, I personally try to kick it back with “if it’s weird to think I’m specially and uniquely better than everyone else, it’s equally weird to think I’m specially and uniquely worse”
Things you can grieve:
Things you also can grieve:
(This is a non-exhaustive list).
Grief is appropriate for any type of loss in life, not just death.
Don’t feel shame for grieving other things like you would grieve a death.
Change can be heartbreaking.
Your feelings are valid.
Honestly this is also why I really don't care for discussions about who is more oppressed. I think a cry for help is a cry for help. I think all who cry out for help deserve a hand reached out in kindness. I don't really care who "deserves it more" because I don't think compassion is a limited resource and I think that we will really only lift ourselves out of the pit by extending that helping hand to those who are in need.
There is a Black Lives Matter discussion from way back called Bob Deserves Food. In this analogy, everyone seated at the table except Bob has been served a full plate, but Bob's place setting remains empty despite having ordered the same food as everyone else. Bob states that he is hungry, and deserves to be able to eat with everyone else.
The table replies, everyone deserves food. Yes, a nice sentiment, but currently BOB is the only person without food, so maybe we need to focus on feeding Bob?
But... Bob doesn't exist in a vacuum. Bob does deserve food. So does the unhoused guy rifling through the restaurant's dumpster. So does the child in a food insecure family. So does the Native couple living in a food desert. So does the refugee woman living in an encampment as her home is obliterated by an army.
Bob deserves food. So do all of these other hungry people who also are not being served a plate. Bob is very visible to the others sitting at the table, and likely his problem of not being served his meal will be resolved long before any of these other people are granted a full belly. That doesn't stop Bob from being hungry right now. And Bob getting the meal the waiter missed doesn't resolve the problem of the other examples still starving.
After all, the only way out of world hunger is to make sure everyone is fed. That includes Bob. And it includes all the others, too.
A cry for help is a cry for help. No matter who needs it. So let's make sure Bob gets his food. And let's make sure to feed the others, too. We have more than enough food in the world to feed everyone. We won't run out of food just because Bob's probably getting his plate first- but we still need to acknowledge those who are not aided by Bob's meal.
A cry for help is a cry for help!!!!!!
everyone knows that cis people need to be less weird about trans bodies but trans people also need to be less weird about trans bodies. no one gaf if ur scared of bottom growth or thinks its weird. keep that shit to urself. ppl keep talking about normalising trans people who don't medically transition but like. don't normalise not wanting to medically transition to the point that medical transition is stigmatised bcs you guys r freaks about trans bodies. no one cares u think that either ftm or mtf bottom surgery is ugly or weird looking. keep that to urself
Something really not talked about with trauma disorders is the paranoia.
Being scared and jumping to conclusions when people stand a little too close to you, not believing people’s compliments and thinking they have hidden motives, not believing when people tell you they like/love you, thinking that strangers you see on the street want to hurt you, etc.
No matter what a post on tumblr tries to tell you, your moral and ethical stances will never be determined by what you reblog and what you scroll past. Don’t let manipulation tactics force you into doing anything you don’t want to do.
I find it very interesting to note the times in which this post has a sudden resurgence. It often follows very stressful, upsetting events, where a lot of “REBLOG THIS OR YOU SUCK” posts start appearing on this site.
So I’ll say it again: it is okay if you come to tumblr to escape upsetting news. It is okay if you’re just here for fun and fandom. It is okay if you do not want to use your tumblr as a place to read about or spread the current events that are circulating. It is okay if you need a place to decompress and just relax. There are other ways to be involved in/support causes and you are allowed to set boundaries on social media platforms without it being indicative of your belief systems.
Your beliefs, values, ethics, and moral stances are not determined by whether or not you reblog something.
I will almost always skip any “rb if you hate transphobia! rb if you hate ableism! I can see who skips!” because it’s dumb. it makes me uncomfortable. me not reblogging a random Tumblr post doesn’t determine my stance on societal issues
Two weeks ago, I made a batch of videos for Tik Tok that were supposed to be going up over the next month or so. However, out of the 5 uploaded and queued, 3 were flagged as needing manual review for potentially breaking community guidelines. The only thing about these videos that was any different from the other content I’d made in the past, or the two new videos that didn’t get flagged, was that they featured either images of myself where my legs and wheelchair were visible, or images of my fursona Nix (who has the same disability) where their legs and wheelchair were visible. I took all the videos down, since the later ones wouldn’t have made much sense in isolation and made a quick crop to the earlier ones so my/Nix’s legs were out-of-frame and low-and-behold, they didn’t get flagged. This isn’t new. In the past, Tik Tok has removed or hidden my videos (meaning they were stuck on 0 views and people visiting my page couldn’t see them) when my legs and scars weren’t entirely covered. I kind of expected it to happen to the video that used IRL footage of me and I had a backup plan, but censoring Nix in particular just felt… petty and uncalled for. It’s bad enough to do this to real disabled people’s bodies and that I even had to have a backup plan for it at all, but the other videos? They were stylised drawings of a purple dragon with simplified scars. A drawing I’ve used on other platforms with no issue by the way; I’ve uploaded videos with those same images to both Youtube (shorts and youtube proper) and Red Note. It’s only Tik Tok that has an issue with it consistently. Despite the vent I had about it all on Tumblr when it first happened, I will eventually re-upload the videos, as well as upload them to other platforms, but I have to figure out how to get around whatever is flagging them first. I won’t be hiding or censoring my/nix’s stumps or scars if I can avoid it. I know it seems petty and it’s going to make things harder in the long run, but I started my tik tok account to share my art, the vast majority of which has disability as a central theme in some way, shape or form, and to educate about disability, and I can’t do that If I have to hide mine. My body and my disability (whether depicted on me or on my characters) isn’t gore and it doesn’t need to be censored. [ID: An image of a purple dragon with yellow wings and a yellow underbelly, flying in front of the 2021 disability pride flag. The dragon is missing most of it’s tail and it’s hind legs, with the right leg gone from above the knee, the left from just below it. Both the tail and legs are covered in very visible scarring, and there are a few smaller scars on the arms. There is white text with a black outline on the image which reads “Disability just being visible isn’t “Graphic and Disturbing Imagery”“. /End ID]
