These two fire extinguishers at my work

Had to draw them

transition is slow and full of folks that dont want me to do it, but very recently, when i look in the mirror, i see a beautiful woman and she's smiling, she's so happy she gets to be here

transition is worth it, and especially so in the face of bigotry, so let's meet the beautiful women in the mirror together, ok?

I need to kiss a technopath

"Block this ad" isn't good enough, I need a feature that directly tells the company "this was so shit that it lowered my opinion of your product"

Soulslike boss where when you get them below 20% hit points it triggers a taunt where they refer to themselves in the third person, and the name they say is completely different from the label on the on-screen health bar. The game immediately pauses, buffers, then displays a popup informing you that someone else's health bar has been shown in error and apologising for the inconvenience. The depleted health bar is then replaced with the correct (full) health bar, and the fight resumes.

Reaching that guy without dealing damage to the boss and angering him is part of an unmarked questline.

I. Love this. 

Love it.

Oh my god

yes.

This is it, I found it, the funniest post on this entire godsforsaken website

I will never get over how brilliant this comic is. The artist could have just drawn a single image in response, but instead we have this masterpiece. The world doesn’t deserve @iguanamouth.

@musicaldaydreams

This has to make the @hellsite-hall-of-fame

By the void was that a twist 😆

The creature

You can tell when someone’s frame of reference for “normal people” is more “people at the church sponsored ice cream social” and less “people on the bus”

the people in the notes saying “people on the bus aren’t normal” are the people this post is talking about.

i CANNOT express how much more lovable my friends are to me at their most annoying. i'd rather hear the same story 3 times than not at all. i'd rather read a 22 message text rant about something totally inconsequential than not hear from you all day. i'd rather you tag me in the stupidest post i've ever seen than not know that it made you think of a conversation we had a month ago. BE ANNOYING AT ME. I LOVE YOU

hot take from your local mentally ill friend with swiss cheese memory; saying “if you dont remember something it means you dont care” is fucking ableist. 

Reminder, I am not the actual CDC so any policy changes that happen are not my doing. I am just a very passionate observer

They are correct! (Most of) These changes are my doing! I am very busy.

It is important to give credit where credit is due.

Sorry I moaned into your pussy when I first started eating it, it just tasted so good

(Not sorry).

thighjob where we’re snuggling real close in bed and your cock is sliding back and forth but it’s passing over my clit each time and i’m digging my nails into you and hiding my face in your chest and one of your hands is on my ass pulling me forward and back in perfect rhythm with you like a stupid little whining sex toy made to get you off and you warn me between low groans not to wiggle my hips otherwise it’ll end up inside me and i’m fucking whining that it’s not fair and you’re saying i know baby i know baby but doesn’t it feel so good and i’m nodding reluctantly because god fucking yes it’s so wet and warm and the way it sounds— is messing with my thoughts and i can’t fucking think but it’s— it sounds fucking perverse and you’re asking me if i like how it sounds dirty like that because i’m just as filthy as you are and you can feel me getting more wet and you can feel my clit getting more swollen against your shaft and you bet i like how i can feel every single fucking vein moving back and forth over my soft wet pussy and oh you bet it feels even better because we’re so close like this right baby? so close together aww you’re such a romantic baby, do you like it when i make my dick feel good with your pretty body? and i’m nodding again but this time can’t even say it and

I am going to eat this entire candy cane.

You’re going to get a cavity

good

30 min later, not much progress. 

Its been an hour. I bit my tongue, my teeth hurts and I’m almost halfway done…

One hour and half done. That’s impressive That takes real skill and perseverance

an hour and a half. my grandma called and I didnt take it so i could eat this… i hate everything

i’d rather be eating anything but this

two and a half hours…. my mouth will never taste normal again

3 fucking hours

I’ve tasted Satans asshole and it tastes like 3 hours of mint. 

Please. Please don’t bring this back.

‘Tis the season.

It’s November

TO BE JOLLY

I’ve tasted Satan’s asshole and it tasted like 3 hours of mint

Y’all can’t forget this for like one year can you

fuck no

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

@theshitpostcalligrapher can you do satan’s asshole tasting like mint pls

oh my god this is one of the ANCIENT texts, i remember first seeing post like ten years ago

ink: diamine firestorm

randomly remembering when i visited murica years ago and sat at a restaurant and the kitchen started smoking so i asked if we should call nine-eleven and everyone looked at me like i personally lit the fire

randomly remembering when i visited murica years ago and sat at a restaurant and the kitchen started smoking so i asked if we should call nine-eleven and everyone looked at me like i personally lit the fire