purreve

With Fate/Strange Fake’s anime adaptation finally airing weekly, a lot of people have been wondering, “Is this a good jumping-on point for someone completely new to the series?” If you’ve been eyeballing the series for a while but didn’t know where to start, I’ve prepared an easy list for you:

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“But I don’t like reading!” I hear you say. “I only want to see sick sakuga edits shittily upscaled to 60fps set to phonk music!”

Hey. I hear you. It’s rough, having expectations for something that don’t match your tastes. Thankfully, there are things out there for you:

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I actually love kinksters so much

Learning from every source in your life that sex is disgusting and sinful, that you should be ashamed of your feelings, thoughts and desires and then having someone in a dog mask tell you, "No, it's all cool, actually," is mind-blowing lol

In the comments seeing a lot of aces saying "Yeah I appreciate that kinksters are often accepting of ace people" and that is because there are many asexuals in kink! Sexual attraction or behavior is not essential to kink/BDSM.

My spouse and I are both a-spec kinksters who do a lot of Kinky Activities and exactly zero traditional genital-involving sex. I write about being nonsexual kinksters professionally as well.

"One funny thing: At most of the kink parties Selena went to, no one was doing anything that seemed to be sexual. People would say, 'I'm tying someone up, that's sex,' but much of the time it didn't seem to feel sexual and nobody could explain how this made sense. Was tying someone up really sex, or was it a rope and some trust? Selena didn't care about sex, but she did love rope, so it was unclear exactly what was happening here, and what she actually wanted.

Intimacy, it turns out. Selena cared about intimacy, and kink was a way for her to be intimate with others. Intimacy and sex are not the same. Intimacy can be in service of sex or sex can be in service of intimacy, or they can be completely separate..."

-Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

Me for the last 15 years: Starting a timer when you have to wait for something or stand in line can be helpful, because no matter how impatient you feel you can check the timer and remind yourself it has not been several eternities and has in fact only been five minutes.

Me setting a timer when I got to bag claim just now: I'm so clever! I will now be reminded that it's only been five minutes and bag claim usually takes about twenty!

Me looking at the timer thoughtfully: ...another Very Neurotypical Moment With Sam, it appears.

FTR it was 17 minutes from "arriving at the bag claim" to claiming my bag, so right on time.

Someone tagged this post "#it’s all fun n games until baggage check takes over an hour" which is 100% legit; a common sentiment in notes is that sometimes you don't want to know how long something has taken. But that is one of the reasons I started doing the stopwatch thing in the first place!

On the one hand, timing something is about reminding myself "No, it's only been five minutes," but it is ALSO about knowing when something is taking way longer than it should.

If I'm put into an exam room in a doctor's office, I start a timer. Because I have been forgotten about in a doctor's office before, I get nervous that I'll just be sat in there forever, and the timer tells me "No, they haven't forgotten you, it's only been 10 minutes." But it also tells me if I have been there longer than appropriate (generally more than 40 minutes) so that I know when it's justifiable to flag down a nurse to find out what's going on.

At bag claim, because I know it usually takes about 20 minutes to get my bag, I don't get concerned until the timer passes the 20 minute mark without any bags appearing. At that point I know I need to take off my headphones and start paying attention -- looking at signage, maybe asking someone if I'm at the right carousel. Maybe don't worry yet, but start double-checking. Perhaps the delay is unavoidable and it'll just be an hour, but at least, having asked, I KNOW it'll be an hour, and the timer will tell me when the hour is past and I should maybe check in again.

Now, if the bags do start showing up before 20 minutes but my bag hasn't shown up by the 40 minute mark, I know that again it's time to put my head on a swivel, and at the 50 minute mark it's time to go speak to someone in the baggage claim office. This has more than once helped me locate my bag when it's accidentally been sent to the wrong part of the airport. There is no point at which, without the timer, I would go "man this is taking a long time" and then actually go ask, because I wouldn't actually know how long it had been.

The timer both prevents me from worrying before I need to and tells me when to start worrying -- essentially, because I'm both perpetually impatient and also infinitely patient, I've outsourced my patience to a stopwatch. And because I time a lot of things, I now know the average time a lot of things take, which helps me calibrate my concerns appropriately. Ten minutes is a long time to wait for a burger from McDonalds, but it's actually on the short end of the time it takes to get a burger from Shake Shack. It's not a long time to be on hold with the HR office of my old employer, but it's longer than I'd usually be on hold with my pharmacy. Et cetera.

I know I say this all the time but I still find it hilarious that I didn't know I had ADHD until I was forty years old.

just want to add that I've started timing myself doing everyday chores and tasks and having a more realistic, personalized idea of how long things take has helped a lot with my time blindness.

I only just started, and it's not yet habitual, so there's only a small bit of info, but it's already made it easier to avoid rushing or getting stuck in waiting mode because it takes out a lot of the guesswork.

And it lets me have grace for myself when something is really taking it out of me. I'm right, this *is* taking forever and it isn't usually this hard, so what's going on? Do I need to rest? Eat? Did I forget my meds? Am I overwhelmed? Etc.

I feel like a scientist gathering and applying data.

Showers on typical days only take "about ten minutes" (me, 2025), therefore, I CAN shower before my appointment that's two hours away.

Contrary to popular belief, doing a quick tidy takes "less than half an hour" (me, 2026) and will not take the better part of a day. I don't need to dread or put it off because I can start a 20min episode and I'll be done before the credits roll.

The proposed estimate of "10-30 miserable minutes in the cold when the warm blankets are right there" (time blindness and depression, 2024), is erroneous, and based on pre-medicated data. As tempting as it is to go straight back to bed after peeing, my research shows that brushing teeth, including "prep and cleanup," rarely takes more than four minutes and may even improve morale and momentum when getting up for the day.

This is awesome and hey guess what: you ARE a scientist gathering and applying data!

I'm super proud of you and everyone who is working to keep their lives together in the face of disability and the general horrors of the world right now. Keep up the great work! And if things slip a little that's ok too. None of us are perfect. Just keep taking notes...for SCIENCE!

"i would kill a pedophile to protect my child" ok but would you teach your child how to say no? even to adults? even to adults you like? would you teach your child the words "penis" and "vulva" and then use them? would you let them ask questions about their body? would you answer them honestly? would you learn how to cope with your feelings when you talk about human bodies, so they don't feel ashamed? would you set a positive example for how you talk about your body? would you tell your child they don't have to hug or kiss anyone? would you tell your family the same? would you stand by them when they refuse to hug someone? even someone you know has never done anything to hurt them? would you let your child avoid food they don't like? would you let you child avoid people they don't like? would you believe them? would you sit in the discomfort of not knowing all the answers and not take it out on them? would you love your child the same if someone did hurt them? would you make them feel valued just as they are? would you let them talk to doctors or nurses in private? would you let them express their feelings? would you show interest in their life? would you let your child say no to you? would you help your child feel safe coming to you when they make a mistake? would you apologize to your child? would you believe them? would you put aside your anger to focus on what would make your child feel safe and loved? would you put your ego aside for your child? would you take your child's concerns seriously? would you listen to your child? would you believe them?

Tips for understanding your cat's signals.

I'm totally on the Jedi's side about 99% of the things they did.

"Oh well they told Anakin he wasn't fit to be a Jedi"

Um yeah because he wasn't? He spent his whole life resenting their rules, disobeyed them at any opportunity, and eventually murdered them all?

"Oh well they wouldn't free his mom, that's terrible!"

Yes. And you know who's fault that is? QUI GON JINN. Not the Jedi as a whole. They didn't even know he was a slave initially because QUI GON DIDN'T TELL THEM JACKSHIT. All Yoda ever says on the subject is that fear is the path to the dark side and he fears for his mother, which is dangerous. And it was! Yoda was right!

"The Jedi steal children!"

You're thinking of Qui-Gon again.

"The Jedi forbid love!"

Now I'm not even sure if we watched the same films.

"Well the council should've given him the rank of master"

Ummm no probably not, he wasn't ready to be a master, hell he was barely ready to be a knight.

"They shouldn't have fought in the Clone Wars!"

Ok I'll give you that one, but you have to remember that the Jedi didn't know about the Sith like we did when watching, so what were they supposed to do? Let an asthmatic cyborg death machine commit war crimes?

"They're on the Senate's leash!"

Who wasn't? I mean this quite literally. The Jedi, the GAR, the neutral systems, everyone was dependent on the Senate because of the amount of power they held, which was a political issue and not a Jedi issue.

"But Ahsoka! But Fives!"

Again. SECRET SITH IN THE SENATE. Manipulating everything. What exactly did you want them to do here? Who exactly would you believe in these scenarios?

"They had a slave army!"

No. The Senate had a slave army. The Jedi were conscripted to fight in it, which arguably makes them slaves as well.

"They didn't help Anakin with his fears or his mom or Padmé!"

Um they literally tried on multiple occasions. Obi-Wan tried repeatedly, only to be rebuffed. Then he tried the "leave him alone and hope he comes to me" strategy, which also was rebuffed. Yoda once offered Jedi Therapy and Anakin just went on a rant about how he doesn't want anyone to die ever, and when Yoda was like "well that's kinda unavoidable" Anakin dismissed him.

"They had child soldiers!"

Yeah, this one probably wasn't the best, but I get it. What else are you supposed to do with those kids? They've been raised with the Jedi their whole lives, you can't just turn them loose, and presumably they need combat training if they're eventually going to get conscripted into said slave army. However, you know who really did have a child soldier? You guessed it. QUI-GON FUCKING JINN.

TL;DR

The Jedi were right and 99% of the things they get blamed for are the fault of the Senate, Palpatine, or Qui-Gon Jinn.

people mad about the master rank thing are not paying attention to the fucking dynamic that was in that scene

by the time that conversation was happening it was obvious to anyone paying attention that anakin was a political toadie of palpatine

why, you ask?

because thats what the rank of master conversation was about

Anakin rocks up to the council chamber and says 'yoooo Mistah Palpatine sez he wants someone loyal to him on the jedi council. And whaddaya know, here i am! SO yeah uhhhh put me on the Master Council, Mr Palaptine says so.'

And Mace/the council, instead of openly defying the primary political authority who can (and soon will!!!) have them surrounded with troops and cops and troop cops says "fucking fine. I'll cave to political pressure and you can sit in on the meetings. But you're younger than Obi-wan was when he was made a Knight (and he was already really young) so you're not becoming a Master."

To which anakin says 'this is outrageous its unfair' as if he wasn't just- again, i cannot stress this enough- exerting pressure against the leadership of his order at the behest of an outside political entity. Thats the kind of thing that makes people say 'hey this guy is not really with the program here maybe he shouldn't be given higher rank'!

It would be a bad thing to do even if it WASN'T part of the planned murder of the jedi order!!!!

I lack perception of time so you could legit walk up to me and say "Hi" after 3 years and I'd be like "aww I missed you. we talked just last week :3"

This for real.

BUT

There is a caveat.

If we make the effort to reach out, if we spend time, again and again and again and again, reaching out and are ignored - think of it as a Damage Over Time to that friendship. Every time we bruise our fingers on the closed door between us is HP lost on that friendship.

So if we reach out, just reply with 'sorry bro maybe another time'.

Our relationships don't decay, but they can be damaged.

Guys if you want queer shit written by queers on our own terms you're going to have to start seeking out weird independent media. I'm sorry that's the only place you can regularly find it idk what to tell you, we can't keep acting like there's nothing if we're not getting blockbusters and triple A titles or whatever it is we're waiting around for. The thing you keep saying you want is already being offered for free by one person making a passion project on the internet and you would both benefit enormously if you interacted with it instead of lamenting that the only options we have for representation are pandering afterthoughts from corporate shit

I say this with so, so much care: Real queer shit written by real queers can and will sometimes make you uncomfortable. That's one of the defining features of weird, independent queer media. And weird independent media more broadly. Art that comes from true individual passion and authenticity has edges and bite to it that mass market corporate products intentionally do not. Has a rawness that can offend.

You are allowed to feel uncomfortable about it. But don't ask for queers to self censor for your comfort.

Queer Slur Heritage Post

I really wish people would understand that there is a vast gulf of cultural difference between “nomadic ethnic groups” and “ethnic groups which are not and have never been nomadic, but which were repeatedly violently expelled”

The Saami people are nomadic. The Buryats are nomadic. Uyghurs are not. Jews are not. Many Native American groups, including the Cherokee, Chickasaw, Choctaw, and Creek are not. This distinction may seem small and academic but it is absolutely vital to understanding modern day conflicts involving these groups.

Some cultures are itinerant, with physical movement from place to place as an inherent part of their identity. Some cultures were violently displaced, with a cultural identity that carries the scars of being forced to relocate, against their will. It is victim blaming of the highest order to treat the second type as though it is the first.

lots/most insurances won't cover imaging for certain things until the patient completes like six weeks of physical therapy for the issue, bc PT is cheaper to finance for the insurance company. this happened to my mom when she hurt her shoulder fencing and it happened to me when I recently paid out of pocket for my upright MRI because -- IT'S INCREDIBLY CARTOONISHLY EVIL to act like physical therapy is something that can be done safely when YOU DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON INSIDE SOMEONE'S BODY. with my mom's shoulder, she didn't know what was hurt -- bone, muscle, connective tissue -- and safe PT requires knowing this, bc what might be safe for someone with a muscle tear might make a connective tissue issue worse, or the other way around. so she actually ended up hurting her shoulder worse. I was incredibly fortunate in that 1. I had knowledge of this issue already, and 2. was able to pay for the imaging out of pocket. 99% of people in my situation probably wouldnt even know that PT could worsen an issue, and if they did know that they probably wouldn't be able to pay out of pocket for the imaging.

anyway come to find out, my neurologist said he doesn't recommend physical therapy until my CSF leaks are patched bc he said any PT of my neck could easily make the tears in the tissue around my spine worse. and the technology to properly repair these tears is not available to everyone, so it's totally plausible that someone that happened to would just... never be able to get their leaks repaired.

I am always always always thinking about the Alternate Universe Pips, to the degree that I have to make myself stop thinking about it sometimes bc I get too upset. and this is not an exception. I'm so furious about how for profit health insurance is hurting and killing people all of the time. it's literally just a social murder machine. it's a fucking meat grinder. we need to be killing more

anyway if this can help anyone else: if your insurance requires you to get PT *before* it will pay for imaging and you assume that must mean that physical therapy is safe and couldn't make whatever is wrong worse: this is not the case. I strongly advise you to try to figure out a way to get the imaging beforehand, or to Just Fucking Lie about doing the physical therapy exercises, if that is at all possible. these policies are very common and they're VERY DANGEROUS AND BAD

also, ask about image pricing of you think you can't afford out of pocket self pay! most people assume MRIs will be thousands of dollars, but the most expensive one we had at my imagine clinic was high 800s. And that was for a soft tissue with contrast procedure. Still not cheap, but very possibly cheaper than you think it's going to be, and usually there's a self pay discount if you're not using insurance (our clinic did 40%) plus if you're really economically busted, you may qualify for part or full financial aid. Don't assume there's no way to get proper diagnostics if insurance doesn't authorize it.

I see this a lot with worker's compensation insurance specifically, since that's what I work with, but sometimes those hoops can be bypassed with documentation. YMMV with personal/private. We frequently see MRI requests denied because the process requires PT first. And while we can escalate requests to try and get authorization, that can be a lengthy process.

This is not medical advice, and definitely talk with your provider about it, but often what we do is give a very thorough explanation to the physical therapist. Your first visit will be at least partially an evaluation, and the PT should be making a plan of care for your provider to approve. Typically, insurance will approve a number of sessions- often 6 or 12 plus that initial evaluation- and require completion before approving imaging.

Sometimes, rather than drag the patient through months of escalating reviews, we'll recommend they complete that initial visit. Often, we can then get back, documented officially, either that the PT also would want imaging done, or failure to tolerate PT. If we can submit that failure to tolerate, we can then usually get that imaging approved.

Everyone's situation is different, so this will super depend on your condition, your insurance, accessibility of everything. But requirements are not always as cut and dry as they might seem, and most providers are fed up with insurance hoops too. Talk with them, talk with whoever submits their auth requests.