Happy SantaWeen to all who celebrate.
@graveyard-smash @netherworldpost @notfinancialadvice @symbionese-liberation-armpit @knitmeapony @christabelq
Hot take: Pigeons are majestic. Who agrees with me??
“Ugh can’t stand babies they cry so much!”
That tiny Human spirit has shat himself 4 times today if you’d shat yourself 4 times by noon you’d be in hysterics too
He fell asleep in his bed, at home, and woke up at the goddamn grocery store with an overhead light in his face if that happened to you you’d become The Joker
Poor guy’s only been here for like a dozen weeks he doesn’t even have a favorite show to distract him yet he’s just raw-dogging reality unfiltered with no goddamn Blorbos to rotate whatsoever
Dude has, at this point, one communication signal.
Fortunately for him, it is a very important communication signal, especially given what he's going through right now. It says, "This is, in some way, unsatisfactory." Unfortunately, it's not very specific and he doesn't understand much about how to deploy it.
You have to understand, the stomach ache that he has right now is the worst stomach ache in the universe, because as far as he's concerned, the universe is maybe a month old and there's been a limited number of stomach aches in it. Or, the loneliness and anguish he felt when he couldn't see you was the most terrifying isolation in the universe, akin to being adrift in the Boötes Void, for the very same reason. He does not have guidelines to cope with these things. He has barely accumulated enough of a dataset to start evaluating things like, "Most times, when people I know go away, they will reappear eventually," or, "that particular stomach ache will go away if I eat something." He doesn't even know which particular problems can be cured and which can't. He just knows that "technique: scream like fucking banshee" does have some sort of a success rate.
And it's his only move, you think he's not gonna spam it? Get real.
Is it not achingly beautiful that across every language and every culture, and throughout all of the entire history of civilization and even before civilization began, the single expression of human communication which is universally and eternally understood, the first thing that every single human being alive learns to say, is
Help me
funniest convo ever with a guy who said 2 me "nobody uses journalism degrees" and i said "my mom has a bachelors in journalism" and he smiled like knowingly and said "yeah, but what does she do?" and i said "she runs a newspaper and publishes romance novels on the side." and he literally said "oh" and nothing else. like he ended the whole conversation there.
i've just been informed he has a trombone degree. like the study of playing trombone. which is all well and good, i genuinely think we should all have the opportunity to chase our academic bliss but i do think the trombone studies guy should hesitate to judge the economic value of other people's degrees no
i love the tags on this post because there’s other music/instrument majors implying niche field-specific drama like “of course it was a trombone player 😒” and then there’s trombone majors like “this was NOT me for the record”
This isn't about Buffy.
ALT☞ THUS
Dinosaurs aren't dead
H.T. Huang toucan desk lamps, 1980s
Something’s wrong with my dog I think it’s gay
Things I thought were just made up for The Simpsons but turned out to be real things that exist in USA:
This isn’t from The Simpsons but
OP where are you from???
Finland
thatdarnyeti
loish
asteroidtroglodyte
lyricwritesprose
ariaste
wizardarchetypes
spikedaily
fluentisonus
ziggystarling
christopherbarnard
corrodedparadox
tsaagan
dungeonboy2011