Bryn Bran

"kill them with kindness" Wrong. cryopod 🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊

“not every vampire is queer” first of all yes they are

ur 20s are for consuming as much vampire media as possible just like ur 12 year old self would have wanted

“you talk about vampires all the time” first of all yes the fuck i do

a vampire situationship would fix me i think

"Block this ad" isn't good enough, I need a feature that directly tells the company "this was so shit that it lowered my opinion of your product"

I like when delivery people ask you to sign their tiny shitty screen with your finger like alright sure we can do some free drawing I guess. Some random strokes that evoke the essence of a signature. Looking me dead in the eyes while I play fruit ninja on this blank screen. Why not.

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

biblically accurate warren godby

Not really sure why people try to gatekeep artists. When it comes to LH I do the opposite of gatekeeping. I’m desperately trying to drag people through the gate. Like cmon. You already like the one song, come listen to the others. Get in my van. Cmon. We’re going into the woods.

[I.D.: A five panel black and white digital comic with a supplicant and a sage. The supplicant on their knees says "Oh, all-knowing sage, grant me your wisdom!" The sage, floating ominously says "Stop taking twelve Advil a day"

"Boo!" replies the supplicant. Then the sage takes out a box of Advil and a ox of Tylenol and hands them to the supplicant. "Instead, alternate between Advil and Tylenol. They work through different mechanisms, so they are safe to take together."

"Oh!" says the supplicant, now smiling. The sage holds up a finger, saying "Never go over the recommended daily maximum for any OTC drugs. Overuse of Advil can cause stomach and liver issues; overuse of Tylenol can damage your kidneys. Always speak to a physician before combining prescription strength drugs." End I.D.]

you'd think that "inhuman thing that isn't a person but speaks like a person and talking to it will slowly drive you mad" would only be found in folktales and fables and so on. but no. chatgpt

Fox Mulder won the autism lottery. He made the FBI give him an entire subdivision for his special interest AND someone to infodump to

Single Mages are dying to meet you!

i love the x files cause it’s like what if the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen (literal doctor and FBI agent) got slowly convinced into believing in the most bizarre things imaginable by the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen (big stupid doe eyes) (also top FBI agent) and now they’re wanted by the government for being hot. or whatever

*grabbing a new audio drama podcast in my teeth and shaking it like a dog with a squeaky toy*