idk thinking about how sometimes you have to show up for people you aren't that close to, because sometimes you're just the person who's there. sometimes you invite a new friend to a party and end up having to sit with them through a panic attack. sometimes you run into an acquaintance on their worst day and they need to talk about what happened. sometimes someone is crying in a stairwell and you're the only one around to ask if they're okay. and none of this is "trauma dumping" or whatever the fuck it's just being there for people because you're the one in the room with them.

My then-coworker was pregnant with her second child. One day she mentioned being terrified she'd go into labor at three in the morning and no one would be available to take care of her toddler while she went to the hospital.

"I know it's stupid," she said, "but I can't stop thinking about it."

"Call me if that happens, " I said, because we lived 15 minutes away from each other. "I'll run over and watch her until her grandparents get there."

And I didn't think too much of it at the time, but after my coworker came back from maternity leave she told me that this conversation, where some girl from work promised to give up a couple hours of sleep if her family had an emergency, was the reason she was able to sleep at night for the rest of the pregnancy.

What's interesting about this is that you didn't actually get called, and you didn't have to run anywhere at 3AM. You just had to be willing to if it happened.

So often, it's not even that you have to do anything; you just have to make it clear that if you would if it became necessary.