heated rivalry + text posts // part three.
Don’t like people pointing out that it no longer makes sense in modern society to pretend a banana is a telephone
my bioengineering team is working on a rectangular-slab-shaped banana variant to address this very issue
everything about the bathroom scene murders me. shane practically running from the awards ceremony trying to get as far away as he can so he can have his Big Feelings alone. ilya arriving just seconds later so you KNOW he was hot on shane’s heels even if he’s trying to act all casual about it like what are the chances i just sauntered into the same faraway bathroom. shane’s FACE when he’s looking at ilya waiting to see what ilya’s going to say to him and you can just SEE the longing and confusion and hurt all over his expression. and then ilya LAUGHING, obviously trying to break the tension and make it just part of their jokey fuck-you bros bantering routine, giving shane an out (we don’t have to get serious, we don’t have to talk about it, we can just let the fact that i went radio silent and ignored you for six months slide), and shane refusing to take the out!! with TEARS in his EYES!!! demanding to know what ilya wants!!! and ilya being like ok i’ll make it about sex that’s safe. suck my dick. except you can see the second he registers that he’s pushed shane too far and is in danger of losing him for good and then he pushes off the wall and closes the distance between them and grabs shane’s jaw (you’re MINE this is how I touch you you’re mine you’re MINE). and i love how the d/s text of the scene (ilya holding shane’s face and making him say please) barely conceals the emotional subtext! the please isn’t about shane wanting ilya to suck his dick!!! it’s please see me, please want me, please don’t ghost me, please need this like i do. please. it KILLS ME!!!! and then shane wants to be kissed sooooooo bad he’s turning his face up towards him waiting and ilya doesn’t kiss himmmmm he doesn’t kiss him!!!! we didn’t even kiss wahhhh but ilya lets him lean against him and take the wordless comfort he needs!!! and then they kinda find their footing again because shane got what he needed, sort of, or he got what ilya could give him and he’s decided to take it. the whole part afterwards wahhh where they’re joking about the new yorker being boring (they’re right) and shane’s softened a little but his body language is still so touch me please hold me pleasepleaseplease let me lean on you hold me hold me hold me hold me will you just hold me and then finally ilya kisses him instead of telling shane what he’s going to do with him because he can’t say what he really wants to do (have him. hold him. keep him). SORRY to be such a HUGE SAP about it but i’m PASSIONATELY INTO IT
Ilya Rozanov’s search history (insp)
+ bonus:
Hey, OP. That last one was unnecessary
“Why did you come out here? To think about stuff. What stuff? Were you thinking about me? I was wondering how I ended up with you as my boyfriend. Wasn’t I your target from the start? Ouch, that hurts. When I said hated you back then, I meant it. Hey. You were obnoxious. You loved messing with me. Because I didn’t realize my feelings back then. I just wanted your attention. Let’s leave the past in the past. Let’s start over.”
HEAD 2 HEAD (2025) | EPISODE 12



