Ace in Space

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
pangur-and-grim
kedreeva

I need everyone to know that my old neighbor (probably) died or (possibly) went to someplace with permanent medical care because she was a million years old, and she was replaced by (another) old man of similar age and haleness whose children put him into this house to be closer to them. This is significant because the previous neighbor lady hated me AND my birds, and the new guy is delighted by them and comes over to visit Bug.

Today I got to meet his daughter and he insisted she meet Bug too, so after foot dips, I walked them out to the pens. I called for Bug several times, but she did not appear. I don't blame her. it's cold and rainy out. So I went in to find her, and she was absolutely not budging at all. Nestled up with mantis on their heated perch, inside their curtained-off, decorated, insulated coop. I did end up letting the daughter walk through to come see her and give her a little pat, because I want to get along with my neighbors and want them to like the birds (much easier all around if everyone likes the birds).

But like imagine it's the dead of winter in Michigan, and your elderly father insists that his new neighbor has peacocks and you go to see them thinking maybe they're turkeys, or like, one random peacock like some farms have, and instead this is what you find

image

and you're allowed to pet them

matthewonart
foone

The three types of kink are

* you have power

* you're safe

* feet

foone

this is a shitpost but I think it's not THAT wrong. Most kink is either one of (or a combination of):

  • You get to play at having power over someone else. This is your dominance sorts of things, your sadisms, etc.
  • You get to play safely. You can play with scary things while knowing there's safewords and a dom/top who loves you.
  • Feet. By which I mean, there's some normal part of the human experience that your brain has for some reason fixated on. Maybe you're into red hair, or glasses, or fluffy tails.
foone

"safety" can also present as "useful". You have some intrinsic value that cannot be taken from you (because of some sex/kink thing). The safety is from abandonment, because you're useful, despite everything. And "useful" is a bunch of kinks (none of which I'm comfortable mentioning here).

sleepydogdisease

oh no, animal ears are feet

foone

yeah. cat ears are feet!

mere-technicality

can someone turn this into the calvin's dad dialogue

foone

oh god, this is so obviously calvin's dad dialogue that now I'm worried that I plagiarized it without realizing it

madigail

the two types of tumblr post are calvin's dad and rule 34. all posts fall into one of these two categories. despite being kink-related, this post is actually calvin's dad.

ozth
ozth

imagine you're walking through a vast desert, and you come across a snake so you ask him where you might find water, and he says "oh it's sssimple, just curl up and sssleep until morning, and when you wake up you can sssip the dew drops that form on your back" and while you're grateful for his advice it's not quite helpful for your exact situation so you thank him and move on, and you move on and you move on, until finally you collapse in the sand, too exhausted to continue, and as your vision fades you think to yourself, maybe when I wake up there will be dew drops on my back

commander-goo
televisionenjoyer

tumblr fucking outlived amino

televisionenjoyer

I'm not surprised because amino sucked but it's funny because it was supposed to be like a better tumblr

televisionenjoyer

it's also not funny because we can't let matt mullenweg know you can just close a website if it isn't profitable

loredwy

AMINO DIED???

televisionenjoyer

image

Amino died a sudden death in December and clearly nobody gave a shit about it because I only found out today myself

headspace-hotel
musingsofaraven

Unless you speak whatever the language in this is (maybe Russian? It sounds at least related to Russian), you won’t understand exactly what they’re saying

You will however, understand exactly what they’re saying from the context of the video

And you will get to hear this person’s wonderful laughter

Sound definitely needs to be on

i-llbedammned

Sounds like German to me, but this is hilariously bad planning.

hyperactivehedgehog

It’s definitly not german, but god i need to know who planned this bathroom

erebus0dora

it is 100% Russian, and i am wheezing in the same language now

lowestechelonabomination

going to attempt a rough translation because this is so funny to me

it’s not going to be very literal because trying to translate every mumbled phrase and conversational word will be Very Annoying

“So here’s your–here’s our hotel room. The door to the bathroom is clear, so you enter the bathroom, and everything’s normal, you look at yourself, and everyone who’s in the hallway can see you. And over here’s the shower, it’s relatively private. You enter the shower, and like wash yourself– *breaks down laughing* Well okay okay, you decide to wash your hands, or sit down on the toilet and– *another fit of laughter* Fine, fine, it’s actually all okay because you grab this and you…uh, and you’re like ‘I want some privacy’”, and you close–you close the curtain, and then you close this curtain– *laughs* And you close that curtain too, and now you want to sit on the toilet and you’re like ‘Okay everything’s closed, you can’t see in", and so you sit down on the toilet– *intense laughter*“

vinceaddams

Huh, apparently glass bathroom doors are an increasingly common problem in hotel rooms? To the point that someone made a website about it and is working on a database of hotels that have actual bathroom doors??

Source: twitter.com