got an appointment to talk about meds for my mental health and idk how to feel about it
#like. i’ve been wanting this for years#literal years#but also i’ve never had an official diagnosis. and if i do get prescribed these medications it will feel too real in a way im not ready for#i believe self diagnosis is valid in a lot of situations#and especially mine bc i’ve been living with these symptoms since i started high school lmao. so like. 9/10 years#but there’s a difference between being self diagnosed to ‘i’m on antidepressants’#yk?#it’s a big leap. i only started therapy around a year ago and that scared the shit out of me. this time around actually admitting to being-#suicidal out loud was the hardest thing i’ve done.#it’s not even like i’m better. my job and the commute keep me too tired to even really think about it save some nights#but working means masking so i can at least push it down#but actually (possibly) having to take anti depressants is… it’s a lot for me to handle#idek if i’m going to get them but hopefully i will#i really fucking hope so but there’s a part of me that’s convinced i don’t need them. i’m a little convinced im faking it but all these-#years of suffering. there’s no way it’s fake
getting out of the house and living the life i want but at what cost
#bc i don’t want to be at home rn. truly not#gym every other day#dilly dallying on the way home. overtime at work and reading alone in the park#it’s peaceful and kinda lonely but i’ve been lonely in this house since 13 so what’s the difference really.#and as much as it’s motivated by the wrong things it’s so freeing. so fulfilling like genuinely. i went to the cinema alone and had a-#little shopping trip. got my hair done. gym the next day. it was the best weekend i’ve had in a long time and im looking forward to more#like it#ik living alone was where i would thrive and now that i am kind of doing it im enjoying it so much#next thing on the list is my licence and a car. asking for money for my birthday or nothing at all so i can put that towards a car
pussy spanks with ran, milo…………..
ESPECIALLY when he has you in a spreader bar.
you come into my house… and treat me like this /j
#my beloveds#he’s such a mean man bc he watches you tear up and then mothers you…#kisses your forehead and tells you it’s going to be okay you just need to hold on a little longer#and he loves how overwhelmed you get from it all… eats you out to soothe the pain just so he can hear the way you squeal#bc it really is too much but he doesn’t care. he wants you to buck into his mouth and make a mess of him#so he can kiss you after and have you taste yourself#mean horrible man
Feel free to reblog to have more people to vote. Feel free to explain why you voted the way you did. DO NOT SENT ANON HATE FOR HOW PEOPLE VOTED.
#gonna be so real. oikawa fics#i was deeeeep into my haikyuu phase and jumping from character to character#just so happened to be into oikawa at that time and i read all the good fics on ao3 so i started looking else where#made an account bc i saw the community fic writers built and i wanted that#so i signed up and ended up with exactly that and it was such a good decision#don’t regret it one bit
