life hack: u dont have to be a wolf to yell sad noises at the moon
catching up with my friend mark who’s been miserable of late. cheer up mark! plenty to smile about. and open the window
guy who invented whichever one of these came second: fuck it just call it a compass too. i’m so bad at naming things… fuck! i’m angry. fuck my life. i’m going for a walk
ALTBeen reading short stories by @reallyreallyreallytrying. They've got a kinda dream-like surreal quality that reminds me of George Saunders' style. They're also funny, this is the same guy who brought us spiders georg!
the new viral trend is swimming in the river with an abdominal wound! take an #AbdominalWoundRiverSwim and post your results
(planning to cook you in the wok) ginger garlic spring onions looking cozy in there brother. nice and cozy. say why don’t you hop in
one of my buddies can read barcodes just from looking at em. sometimes he cracks up at the stuff they say
(lulling you) secure yet?
visigoths were known to wield the power of vision against roman legionaries, while ostrogoths dealt osteoporosis-based attacks
psyching up phil collins before he goes in the booth: you’ll be fine. just say susussudio a bunch of times
(checking out a historical event) is this the tragedy or the farce
