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@redacted-idiot

older than 20, younger than dead

yeah it's all by choice and not because i have issues with intimacy and vulnerability and abandonment and relationships and my body and my parents and my childhood and how much i value myself and how im perceived and

why go to the grocery store or to a restaurant when you can just get food delivered why go to the mall when you can get same day shipping on amazon why go to the library when you have kindle why make art when there’s ai why go to the cinema when you can stay at home and watch netflix. we are in a loneliness epidemic btw

the loneliness epidemic was invented by BIG SHIT to sell you more SHIT

If there was ever a time in American history to spend time physically in public in your community, to meet and get to know your neighbors and connect with them so you can be there for one another in times of crisis, this is it.

Diamonds and platinum, I find them, I flatten them, I take what I'm handed, I break what's demanded // A Gem could crack, under so much pressure.

((AKA the Steven Universe + Surface Pressure AMV, because hot damn y'all. This was SO much fun to make.)) ((spoilers through the entirety of SU/Future)) (youtube)

funny phrases to use when something goes wrong instead of jokingly saying "i'm going to kms":

  • i'm going to kill god
  • i'm going to delete my blog
  • i'm going to explode
  • i'm going to blow up this entire website
  • i'm going to become the joker
  • this is going to be my villain origin story

feel free to add on

THIS ONE WINS

oh you know

What is homestuck? Is it like goncharov?

How is he his brother and biological father please

dave is his genetic offspring but was adopted as a little brother rather than a son. all things considered, it's one of the less convoluted aspects of homestuck's family tree

LESS CONVOLUTED?

don't worry about it 🙂

relevant to this blog i think

I like to think i’m allowed to be proud of this

Bowl identification:

East Fork soup bowl in either Eggshell or Panna Cotta, featuring the brass flatware available on their website; Lucky Charms.

did you just... know this??

i fucking adore how hard posts on this website spiral out of control

That. That is not the photo I meant to attach to this post.

I'm going to eat a couch.

love when ppl ask to see pics of my axolotl and are expecting something cute + pink + all smiles and instead with genuine fear in their eyes, and in their heart, say WHAT the fuck is that.

"Multiple leviathan-class lifeforms detected in the region. Are you sure whatever you're doing is worth it?"

it's kind of a shame that mob psycho 100 was released before these talks of 'main character energy' and 'npc behavior' really started to take hold in an annoying way. 'i am the protagonist of the world' no you're not you're the protagonist of your own life just like everybody else is. bitch.

showing these panels to everyone

You can tell when someone’s frame of reference for “normal people” is more “people at the church sponsored ice cream social” and less “people on the bus”

the people in the notes saying “people on the bus aren’t normal” are the people this post is talking about.

I took the bus for three years when I lived in Honolulu and haven't lived anywhere with even usable public transit since, but in those three years I had dozens of utterly bizarre experiences that were also Perfectly Normal. This is because the human condition is vast and also Very fucking Weird.

Kid one the bus next to me whose backpack starts moving and it turns out he's got three chickens and a painted turtle he caught in there? This is Perfectly Normal. Humans have been catching small game and transporting it home in whatever they had since we invented bags to put chickens and turtles in.

I traded him three king-size snickers bars I had on me for the turtle because I vaguely remembered that many freshwater turtles were toxic to eat (incorrectly, as it turns out, but this was when I still had a Nokia Brick that lived a blissful, internet-free existence), and didn't want him accidentally poisoning his family, but didn't want to just. Steal his hard-won turtle. This is Perfectly Normal. Humans have been cautious about poisons, looking out for strangers kids and bartering shit since before we were technically humans, probably.

Having acquired a turtle, I now needed to transport the turtle to the on-campus pond that effectively served as an Invasive Freshwater Turtle Containment Zone, but did not have a bag that could adequately contain him so I had to sit the rest of that bus ride, at the station and all through the next bus ride holding the turtle like the world's angriest hamburger. Multiple people were curious about and delighted with the turtle. This is Perfectly Normal. Humans love an animal, especially one that is capable of appearing grumpy, and hands are for holding things.

By the time I got back to Campus, the anthropology and child psychology building that the Invasive Turtle Containment Pond was in had closed, so I had to figure out how to climb the tree over the wall and get down off the roof while holding The World's Angriest And Sharpest Hamburger. I eventually ended up having to briefly shove the turtle into by bra to get up to the initial branch and off the roof without breaking an ankle. This is Perfectly Normal. Humans are, as a species, a bunch of barely-evolved arboreal frugivores and really good at Tree Physics, and I don't know a single titty-having bitch out there that hasn't used their bra as Emergency Pockets at least once, if not daily.

I released the turtle into the Turtle Containment Pond and then had to solve the problem of getting back OUT of the locked building, but Nokia Brick never loses a signal or drops a call (including that time I accidentally dropped it off a 13-story building in the middle of a call to my parents and the damn thing BOUNCED but kept the line open. I miss that phone every day.) and while campus security has been carefully trained to not let people IN to places without proper ID and a call to someone inside, they assume that if you got locked in somewhere, that you got in by legitimate means and not Lemur Shenanigans, so i just called them, apologized that I'd been working late with headphones on and didn't realize I'd been locked in. This is Perfectly Normal, people have been lying to cops since laws were invented, and will continue to do so because all cops are bastards.

Anyway, everyone should have access to good public transportation because freedom of movement is a human right and meeting a broad spectrum of humanity is good for your mental health and spiritual welfare.

got a new lighter. it’s shaped like a fish and it blinds you.

it had a huge sticker on it that said “this is not a toy”. the gas station i got it from had a sign infront of the display for these only that said “buy first, then test”. the first time you strike it (from the fins, by the way) you find out exactly why. they have added incredibly bright flashing blue LED lights on the eyes, which point directly into your eyes and the eyes of whoever is looking anywhere close to the fish that makes you blind.

a friend of mine was like “you can probably take this apart and cut the wires so it doesn’t do that anymore” and i told her “no i can’t. i can’t do that” and she was like “???why not?????????”

it’s just too fucking funny. this is the stupidest thing i own. thinking about that gas station clerk with like 50 more of these fucking things thinking “how the fuck am i gonna get rid of these?” makes me loose it. setting up the sign and i was literally the first person to buy one.

who thought this was a good idea.

device of instant give your roommate a headache

small mercies. i think if it had been only a smidge more horrible than it is i would have gone and just given it back.

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