sneaks up behind you really loudly

They’re called pets because you “pets” them

Dogs are machines that turn normal toys into wet yucky toys

I miss you Pregnant Batman but I respect your boundaries so I will wait until at least 5am to call you on the Phone

twin fantasy if it was about cheese: apolocheese to future bries and gou(das)

if Will Toledo was a mouse furry instead of a dog furry he would sing "apolocheese to future mes and yous"

wasting disease

available as a print || ko-fi

I hope that you're asleep

drunk drivers//killer whales