very sexy to think of shane being tangentially aware of his wants and needs but having no outlet for it and no time to think about that rn because they’re building him into a hockey machine and then ilya grabs his stupid slack face and tells him to get on his knees one time and shane winter soldier activates and now he’s constantly two seconds away from asking ilya to unhinge his jaw and crawl inside so shane can be full of him and ilya is like. baby. baby can we just cuddle please i’m so scared right now
this is making me cryyyyfhajsks he thought he was the first slut to ever need it like a pacifier no baby there’s a million of you but the point is ilya doesn’t want them stop pouting
or like ilya teaches him the term and shane is like what? that’s not a thing ilya. shut up. also how do you know that? who did that to you?
if shane hollander looked at me like that and did all that while I carefully but not too carefully took his virginity I too would become very unwise very very quickly. I would become veeeeery. unwise. veeeery. quickly.
if Shane no eye contact Hollander, naked, held eye contact and crawled toward me on a bed in Las Vegas after saying I need…you know. you. I need you. while I was reaching dom enlightenment so fast I’d become lightheaded then I, too. would become veeeeery. unwise
in a post shane hollander and mel king world they don’t even diagnose you with autism anymore they just start making edits comparing you to snoopy and you’re like yeah understood
heated rivalry is amazing because it has all the appeal of something that’s good AND all the appeal of something that sucks. i didn’t think “good adaptation of maddeningly bad source material” was a thing that could exist but here we are.
