I think u should start writing your original story btw. I want to read it.
addition: I understand wanting to wait until things feel Right to write. but as someone who also contends with adhd and The Situations there is not going to be a time where it magically feels perfect to write. “I’ll do it someday / later / when…” is an endless delay. you’ve gotta crack open a document and write something even if it sucks ass because if you don’t get your brain used to the habit it’s not gonna stick. the time you can start is Now.
my understanding and interpretation of Mary Oliver’s “Wild Geese” cannot be untangled from the fact that it was originally published to follow her poem about childhood sexual abuse, “Rage”
i just don’t think it was unintentional that these were presented flush against each other
The way that when you’re a child other children can bully you and single you out as an acceptable target for abuse and socially isolate you to the point that it permanently changes your personality, your self worth and the way you interact with other adults for the rest of your life. And there’s nothing that can really be done about this. All you can do is just keep getting older and put more years between your current self and the frightened child that you were. Nothing happens to the kids that bullied you, they might not even remember doing it at all
thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it’s a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I’m working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it’s okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I’m failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I’m doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it’s such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.
sorry to put your tags on blast on this insane breach containment post I have since muted, but you’re right and you should say it.
This might suck to hear, but if you’re a people pleaser that is motivated by praise and avoids disagreements, you are easy to manipulate.
When I was in therapy after surviving years of domestic violence, my therapist had to tell me that my personality was primed for abuse and we needed to work on that so I would be better equipped to see the red flags and respond appropriately in the future.
I’m still working on this, and it’s been 8 years. If you tell someone how you want to be treated, what behaviors you don’t tolerate in your life, what you’re looking for in that relationship, and they react negatively, don’t compromise yourself. Just move on.
This one’s for all the praise-kink girlies: differentiate, self-actualize, stay sexy
This resonated with more people than I thought, so here are some phrases to practice when you would normally default to people pleasing:
I’m not comfortable with that.
I’d rather not, but thank you for the offer!
You’re welcome to disagree, but that’s not something I’m okay with.
No.
It’s personal, and I’d prefer to keep it private.
That doesn’t work for me. How about x
I respect your opinion, but I’d rather do it my way.
That is behavior that I don’t tolerate.
To each their own.
I’m not looking for feedback right now, but if I’m looking for input later, I’ll let you know.
Oh, I’m not sure I agree; I thought x
When you did/said x, I wasn’t okay with that.
I don’t accept your apology.
I can accept your apology once you’ve addressed the problem.
Hey, could you help me with x?
I need to stop.
I need some time to myself.
Just remember, your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are what make you unique, and you can change your mind later, so don’t be afraid to say them out loud. Work through things. Don’t dodge them.
why go to the grocery store or to a restaurant when you can just get food delivered why go to the mall when you can get same day shipping on amazon why go to the library when you have kindle why make art when there’s ai why go to the cinema when you can stay at home and watch netflix. we are in a loneliness epidemic btw
the loneliness epidemic was invented by BIG SHIT to sell you more SHIT
