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Salty, alternative, unreal

@salternateunreality2

formerly salternateunreality before Tumblr drama, still Salty about that...teehee...Puns, FF7, stuff I like, animal gifs

Hi this is Actually Salty

I used to be salternateunreality, but shenanigans, woe, misery, and now I am salternateunreality2.

Call me Salty (they/them). I mostly post about FF7, but also miscellaneous fandoms, causes, and animals when the mood strikes.

I started this blog to support my AO3 ramblings, which can be found here:

If you're looking for a particular post that I wrote and you can't find it because t*wblr search is a hot mess, you're in luck because most of them get saved here. If they're not there, they might be standalone fics or lost to the ether. Good luck.

HOW THE FIRSTS SLEEP:

Angeal: Loud ass SNORRRRRKKKK MIMIMI while splaying out across the bed, taking up tons of space.

Genesis: Has tiny arguments in sleep, curling and tangling up in the sheets until he is an angry Genesis sausage roll.

Sephiroth: Completely motionless and silent. Possibly dead. It's a mystery. Occasionally curls into perfect fetal position.

Zack: Currently spooning his pillow. Rolls off the bed overnight and ends up sleeping on the floor. Sephiroth and Genesis take turns poking him.

Anonymous asked:

do you think hojo ever shouted at Babyroth

POV: You're a stinky grown ass scientist man screaming at a small child and he's looking up at you like

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Does TCD have any big winter plans? ❤️

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Yes! He will be frolicking in the snow (if there is any). He plans to create a network of tunnels to run in, and pop out of to try to frighten his unwary subjects. There will be an army of snowmen made, and he will construct a grand snow palace for himself! Afterwards, there will be skittering across frozen puddles and snow angel making! When it gets too cold., he will go inside and get in his cozy jammies and then find a warm lap to curl up on while he drinks hot chocolate with marshmallows. A blanket will be involved, so there will be naps too! He will go Big Boi form and try to curl up too close to the fireplace or space heater. Angeal will be having an aneurysm because his boy is smoking but refuses to move back even a few inches. Tiny Cloud dragon is confused by his distress because doesn't he know that dragons are fireproof?

At least Angeal will make sure he is warm when he goes outside!

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Talented and frisky! Beware, unsuspecting Angeal carrying groceries!

Pffft I just noticed his peets appear to have mittens too 🤣🤣🤣

A palace with an army? Only natural!

I bet Genesis will be a preferred lap, because he's a fire mage and will either be warm or want to be warm at all times--perfect for a derg who wants to get toasty.

I can easily see Zack and Sephiroth doing his bidding outside to help with construction, following every demanding squeak to the squeaking letter!

Angeal is such a worrywart! At least he's a good snack provider.

Lol, yes, Angeal made him special mittens for his lil peets! Unfortunately, they don't provide much traction, unlike the derg's naturally sticky toe beans and sharp claws, but Angeal insists they be worn!

It makes digging his tunnels a little more difficult, but he manages. He's still trying to get the hang of snow angels. Right now they are just a bunch of body prints in whatever position he throws himself down in, but he looks so cute flopping around that no one can bring themselves to correct him.

And Zack and Sephiroth better make that castle right! He wants FOUR towers, a moat, a working drawbridge, a special room for his hoard (it's literally a pile of shrimp), a fancy throne, and a bed with a canopy!

Anonymous asked:

Zack receives an email from Angeal and sends this to him in response: https://www.tumblr.com/alwaystiredshark/802045489621155840

Angeal receives the response and turns around to reply in person, but suddenly stops in place.

Zack is wearing a shark onesie and making the face.

Angeal wants to be say something about office etiquette but he he’s too busy laughing. His laughter doubles when Genesis threatens to set Zack on fire if he trips over his boots one more time…!, because the fireball held in threat looks like Zack is on fire, just like in the picture.

🦈🐶🐦‍🔥😂❤️🐻

Thanks for the ask @violetinkclouds !

Pfffft

Zack refuses to change his expression, even with the threat of violence.

Angeal is still laughing.

Genesis is growing irate at being ignored.

Kunsel runs up and throws a bucket of water...on Zack.

Angeal, through gasps of laughter: WHY?! AHAHAHAHA GENESIS IS THE ONE WITH FIRE! HAHAHA

Kunsel: 🫡 SIR! A shark is a fish, SIR! Fish breathe through their gills SIR! Using water, SIR! 🫡

Genesis is now laughing.

Sephiroth, who overhead, pops his head out, then hides his giggle behind his hand.

Zack still has the same expression.

Cloud walks up, dead tired from patrol, sees what's happening, and just sits down because he doesn't have the capacity for this.

Does TCD have any big winter plans? ❤️

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Yes! He will be frolicking in the snow (if there is any). He plans to create a network of tunnels to run in, and pop out of to try to frighten his unwary subjects. There will be an army of snowmen made, and he will construct a grand snow palace for himself! Afterwards, there will be skittering across frozen puddles and snow angel making! When it gets too cold., he will go inside and get in his cozy jammies and then find a warm lap to curl up on while he drinks hot chocolate with marshmallows. A blanket will be involved, so there will be naps too! He will go Big Boi form and try to curl up too close to the fireplace or space heater. Angeal will be having an aneurysm because his boy is smoking but refuses to move back even a few inches. Tiny Cloud dragon is confused by his distress because doesn't he know that dragons are fireproof?

At least Angeal will make sure he is warm when he goes outside!

Avatar

Talented and frisky! Beware, unsuspecting Angeal carrying groceries!

Pffft I just noticed his peets appear to have mittens too 🤣🤣🤣

A palace with an army? Only natural!

I bet Genesis will be a preferred lap, because he's a fire mage and will either be warm or want to be warm at all times--perfect for a derg who wants to get toasty.

I can easily see Zack and Sephiroth doing his bidding outside to help with construction, following every demanding squeak to the squeaking letter!

Angeal is such a worrywart! At least he's a good snack provider.

a lot of my autism masking is just making myself more palatable for other people and my therapist said "does spock make himself 'more palatable' for others?" and had me promise to keep unmasking like:

If the guys had little sisters they grew up with (AGSZC)

(inspired by @strayheartless ' post about Aerith and Genesis being siblings)

Angeal's little sister would be great at baking and theft. Yuffie would get into a petty rivalry with Angela over who could steal more from the Rhapsodos estate, especially materia. Angeal would not know this, and only see Angela's sweet, motherly, pie-baking side. Angela would also be a science whiz and use her theft to fuel experimentation.

She would get Angeal to try so many concoctions and he would always cave because of her big brown eyes.

This man is delusional:

Genesis' little sister would be Angry (tm) about how she and Genesis are treated by their parents, especially about how they treat him like an investment property and her like a political pawn. She would help Angela steal at all times.

Genevieve would be musically talented, and Genesis would be constantly trying to cast her as the maiden in his plays or getting her to write scores for his plays and poetry.

Genevieve would know how to act in any polite society...and actively choose when NOT to use that skill. She would inherit her mother's ability to insult someone while sounding kind. She'd inherit both her parents' ability to scheme and make money and political power. Her ultimate goal is to buy Genesis' freedom from Shinra one way or another, and secure her own freedom from marriage.

Genesis LOVES to complain about and insult her to her face, but he'd kill everyone in the room if they hurt her.

Sephiroth would take one look at a biological sibling and either shut down completely or latch onto them like he does to Cloud. I'm picking the latter.

Hojo would be dead, Miniroth would go on the run, and Sapphire would poop on him and he wouldn't know what to do until a kind, yellow-haired woman with her own baby took him in.

Sapphire would grow up tough, quiet, and cold to everyone but her family and Tifa. She is so silly around them. She'd be an expert hair braider and a fearsome hunter.

Sephiroth gets really heckin annoying every time she starts becoming more independent. Her first steps away from him? He runs around in front of her. Her first "no"? He says "no" right back.

Zack's little sister is a hugger and no one can escape. Cloud and Sephiroth jump out of their skin like cats when they hear her coming, and have to brace themselves. And they always hear her coming, she is LOUD.

She gets along swimmingly with Aerith and can keep pace with Zack on eating contests. She's very comfortable with dirt, blood, adventure, and farming. She's the girl you call when your goat is giving birth or your grumpy yellow boyfriend won't talk to you because he thinks you hate him.

Zara will tease all Zack's friends into doing what she thinks is best for him and them and no one will be able to resist her. She's usually covered in dirt.

Zack LOVES giving the shovel talk, but always fails because he either ends up best friends with her partner or punches them within minutes of meeting.

Cloud's little sister kinda just does her own thing. She's quiet, hardy, skilled, and not participating in anyone's BS but her own. The sibs pretend not to notice or care about each other's comings and goings, but they'll show up for each other armed to the teeth in a heartbeat.

Claudia Jr. and Cloud do have their share of knock-down, drag-out fights, but they always wind up being fine minutes later.

She's more likely to give Cloud's boyfriends the shovel talk than the reverse. He just sits there cleaning his sword and saying nothing. He's doing it because he feels awkward, but it comes across as extremely menacing.

Their idea of a good time is cowboy camping in the Nibel mountains during dragon mating season, because the dragons shed more scales then and they fetch good money.

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