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saltgolden

@saltygolden

📍Hatchetfield
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venture-observatory-deactivated

my VERY beautiful daughter

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AU where berdly's gaming knowledge allows him to instantly recognize what's going on with kris but no one listens cause he's annoying

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I have no tolerance for gentiles who act like they're chill with Jewish people, just not THOSE ones...

Whatever kind of Jew you have a problem with*, that's the kind of Jew I am for the rest of the conversation.

*with the exception of actual crazies like Neturei Karta, Lev Tahor, Kahanists, Messianics, etc.

You start talking about your problems with "Ultra Orthodox" Jews? I'm feeling frummer by the second. I can't hear your opinions over this nigun. Just for that we're saying the WHOLE service, we're singing ALL the verses. We're about to argue halacha on a level you've never imagined.

You don't like Israelis? You think Jews making Aliyah is colonization? Lehit mami, I'm on my way to the Nefesh b'Nefesh office. See you next year in Jerusalem. Don't forget the sunblock.

You don't like atheist Jews who insist on keeping their culture and not assimilating? I'm reading Scholem and Spinoza and Sacks on the metro. I'm lighting candles and making havdalah. I'm rooting myself in the Hebrew literary tradition stretching back millenia. I'm ignoring your secular Christian holidays because mine are older, better, and mine.

You're fine with Jews, but not with Zionists? I'm painting a giant blue magen David on my chest. I'm hanging the Israeli flag on my balcony. I'm blasting Shedemati and Adama Admati and Mi Yivne Bayit on my boom box.

You don't like Ashkenazim? I'm making an extra big batch of gefilte fish. I'm putting raisins in the fucking kugel. I'm using Yiddish plurals in English and Hebrew alike. No tav is safe from becoming a tas.

I could go on and on. You don't like diaspora Jews? You don't like Reform Jews? You don't like vocal opinionated Jews? I could do this ALL DAY. Whatever kind of Jew you don't like, I am about to be that very Jew.

We are one family and one people. I'm not interested in allies who want to draw a line somewhere through our community, no matter where that line is or why you're trying to draw it.

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