yeah dude

dankmemeuniversity:

(via teaboot)

wizard-council-bureaucrat:

gomezaddamsofficial:

wizard-council-bureaucrat:

Trying to inflict psychic damage to a tumblr user is like trying to irradiate a cockroach, like it can be done, but the lethal dose is not safe for humans either

Besides the point, but you could always try physical damage?

You’re right Gomez, bring me the flail

(via silvexus)

twinkhole-destroyer:

someone is putting up pictures of me around town and they all say I’m ‘wanted’. which is nice

(via voytekio)

iamthemaestro:

people have said it before but if you read a lot of historical literature you do begin to just sort of think in that style of language. I’ll put down the 18th century journal I’m reading and have to resist the urge to send academic emails with every Noun capitalized and punctuated only by the profuse Usage of the Em-Dash — it is a deceptively challenging Instinct to resist, & worse is that Instinct when spelling certain Words to utilize what would, some Centuries prior, be an appropriate Spelling, excepting that my Correspondence occurs in the Twenty-First Century, where Men are inflexible and uncreative in their Methods, & this Propensity of mine would appear only foolish & incorrect, instead of suggesting what it in actuality reflects, which is that I am simply an Incorrigible Nerd — O! the Woes of modern Sociability! Why should I be compelled to conform to these d——d modern Conventions! Is it not enough to be unabashedly and impudently Autistic?

(via silvexus)

7aceofdiamonds7:

theboredvoid-deactivated20260102:

there’s always some bullshit happening on reddit

(via silvexus)

hellsitegenetics:

pjackk:

candytwist-deactivated20231123:

pjackk:

candytwist-deactivated20231123:

all good novelists realize they’re nothing compared to musicians. and all good musicians realize they’re nothing compared to novelists

ALL good novelests and musicicans realize their nothing compared to porno Dvd’s

do you jack off ?

Im not feeling good at all right now i need help badly

String identified:
a g t a t’ tg ca t ca. a a g ca a t’ tg ca t t
A g t a cca a t tg ca t ’
ac ?
t g g at a gt a

Closest match: Sphaerechinus granularis genome assembly, chromosome: 1
Common name: Violet Sea Urchin

ALT

(image source)

depsidase:

(via so-much-for-subtlety)

notawitchbutabitch-blog:

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist:

death-threat-collector:

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist:

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

• vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)
• which is why more than 99% of what we call “vanilla extract” is actually vanillin (vanilla’s dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.
• luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.
• why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.
• vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.
• then, if you’re lucky, you get vanilla beans.
• which then require months of further specialized treatment.
• the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

• vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.
• the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl–the precursor to modern hot chocolate!
• it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!
• which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s
• Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today–launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.
• today, the majority of the world’s vanilla is grown in Madagascar
• if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully–it’s harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

Okay, but what about Saffron? Why is that more expensive?

ok i love saffron but it is a fucking CUNT look at this shit:

this is saffron. it’s made up of tiny red threads. each of those threads?

• THREE TO A FUCKING FLOWER.
• it takes 75,000 flowers to make ONE POUND of saffron
• do u see this field? do u see this fucking field?
• 
  

• this field will produce enough saffron to fit in a goddam…baggie? a basket? a smallish bucket, perhaps?
• and did I MENTION
• the harvesting has to be done BY HAND
• are u
• are u comprehending
• the Bullshit, are u comprehending it yet?
• can u imagine. having to sit over a pile of thousands of blossoms and pick each. motherfucking. thread. by hand.
• and after hours and hours
• (your joints aching)
• (your fingers stained)
• after hours of this nonsense, lo and behold! you have harvested–about a thimble full of fucking saffron
• jesus wept and so should you

she’s such a whore why do i love her

*pointing at the banilla beans, after explaining to my girlfriend that the pollination method was to push the pollen back into the flower

THESE, These are selfcest beans!

(via tamber-tales)

gauntletqueen:

everyday-cutephoto:

“that’s right, your majesty! You are in dire need of a new freezer… Do not concern yourself with the large cardboard container in which it shall be delivered! Just let your lowly advisor take care of that…”

(via teaboot)

creepymutelilbugger:

iloveprozac:

dogpuppy:

Isnt this how we lost the recipe for roman concrete

(via teaboot)

satyrradio-deactivated20250513:

dogwithglasses:

Bougar

Bougar

(via teaboot)

rottingfacade:

lets just have sex first before we rush into gross stuff like kissing

(via so-much-for-subtlety)