born in the usa as an album is so funny. every single song is like im down on my luck. my hometown sucks. i hate the police. im going to prison. and people will see the flag on the cover and hear him shout “i was born in the usa” and be like yeah this is patriotic
You just don’t get commentary like this anywhere else
hate it when the people who I love are suffering due to circumstances beyond my control 👎 there should be a sea monster that I can slay to fix the problem
nobody ever gets locked in a tower or chained to a rock at sea anymore - it’s always some shit like chronic illness or ptsd related depression
truly just as we have universal health care we need to have universal death care. dying is not optional and funerals should not be a financial burden for families.
Shaggy Rogers is a young adult human man that eats dog treats and his friends don’t even care. They act like it’s normal. Not only do they know he loves eating dog treats, but they know he’ll do scary dangerous shit just to eat dog treats, and they use that to their advantage. “Oh you don’t wanna get asbestos poisoning in the scary abandoned building? What if we fed you a dog treat?” And he says yes and he does it and eats it and they act like that’s a normal thing for a human guy to do. But then again, he also eats 10 feet tall sandwiches in one bite, so maybe he’s not even human. Still fucked up that they manipulate him like that though. But whatever. Forget I said anything.
woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.
Ebeneezer in 1742 wakes with a start as for some reason he has put out his guttering candle by slapping atop it ith the palm of his hand. His hand is burned and his nightgown and cap are spattered with hot wax.
Fascinated by the perceived necessity of an Equivalent Exchange
a massive cloud of paper airplanes descending upon a 747 and when they disperse all that’s left is a massive airliner skeleton picked perfectly clean of all flesh
Evidently, for the most part even the people who are pro AI will argue that AI is good for everything except the one specific thing where they have personal skill, experience and expertise in. Naturally that particular field can only be done by human hands and cannot be replicated.
Which only serves to illuminate that the techbros who insist that 100% of everything can be done by machines are just admitting that they don’t actually have any field or area of human life, existence, or anything at all, in which they’d know shit from shinola.
I identify the most with the woman who has a green velvet ribbon around her neck and keeps being like “DONT untie my neck ribbon or something really bad will happen” and then her husband unties the ribbon and her head falls off. this is extremely real to me. spent my whole life like “please don’t do this thing to me or really bad stuff will happen” and everyone around me being like “that sounds fake” and doing it anyway. and then my head fell off!
I can clearly remember the moment I first realised my mother and I were living on completely different planes of existence. I was 7 years old and I came home from my school’s first track and field day having placed second or third in every event. the teachers had been making jokes all afternoon about how many times they had to call my name. my friends thought I was cool as shit. my enemies thought I was cool as shit too, come to think of it. I was proud as hell. so I get home with the entire front of my shirt covered in ribbons like I was a military dictator who’d awarded himself every medal, I walk into the kitchen and tell my mum all about my day, and she goes “oh, that must be disappointing not getting any firsts.” and I’m like no?? first of all the first place ribbons are red and I don’t like red. second of all look at me. there’s literally nowhere left on my body for accolades. I am fucking Jacked of All Trades. how could this possibly be a disappointment.
Have you guys noticed how much the internet/technology just does not listen to you anymore? I click “don’t show this artist” on Spotify and I get recommended a music video by them on the front page. I click “skip this update” on a pop up every time I open a file organization app and it’s right back there every time. O click unsubscribe on a newsletter and it keeps showing up in my inbox!! I click “delete my account” and the next time I open the website they suggest I “reactivate”.
took acid on new years as per tradition and me and my sister got really into the concept of an origami crane folded out of a pizza so precisely and beautifully that it “shames our hatred”. like all acts of human cruelty are shamed by the perspective that its beauty provides. we called it pizza crane
The thing about the moon is maybe you don’t need to write a poem about the moon. The moon’s been done, we’ve discussed it. It’s a coin a mirror an eye a lantern in the darkness. It’s a rock in space. It’s the dang moon we’ve all seen it! Is there something you can notice that’s is more surprising than the moon???
