what if we teased a character that got everyone really excited for her portion of the game and then made her portion incredibly unsatisfying and also set up a fairytale motif that we never followed through with and also , the competent character who’s ties with the main villain we established last game and expanded upon this game, what if we locked her in a cage for the whole thing so we don’t have to acknowledge her?
Wednesday,January 14, 2026
and don’t get me wrong i know i’m in the minority here as someone who just wanted a re7 sequel but does not have the nostalgia for the more resident evil parts of resident evil. but i also know im in the minority of people bitter they mischaracterized heisenberg as a werewolf instead of a dr. frankenstein IN ADDITION to people bitter that they gave mia even Less screentime in 8. so you see, i have enough complaints to keep me going for years
Wednesday,January 14, 2026
i loved my mia winters era where i was creating delusions to trick myself into thinking re8 could’ve been a narratively satisfying game
chikorita gets clowned on a lot for its shit stats and a movepool i would be hard-pressed to describe as “extant” but designwise it’s really evocative. it begs the kind of questions that make pokemon so magical: what IF a lima bean was a small dog. what IF instead of a head it had like. a weird nub. with an anime face on it. what if it could throw a fistful of razors across the room
doctor will fix me they’ll do a scan and find a terrible darkness seated in my stomach and be like “oh my god we’re so sorry we were supposed to remove this at birth like everyone else, i don’t know how this was missed, we’re so sorry you’ve been living like this your whole life” and it’ll fix my brain too and all clouds will part
i think the most upsetting thing about american-flavor puritanism is how fucking patronizing it is. it’s 2026 but the whole world still has to deal with a cultural hegemony grown from the gnarled vestiges of victorian-era paternalism. tax-paying adults with passports and the right to vote are treated like wayward children because of the antiquated idea that authorities must protect the weak minds of the unwashed masses from depravity and corruption. the average american can send a fellow citizen to the chair, but they can’t piss in a ditch without being declared an outlaw. american entertainment media is saturated with sex, but you can’t talk about it online without getting your account suspended. it’s such blatant censorship at a universal scale, but because sexual content is framed as inherently dangerous, this restriction on basic adult autonomy, this blanket denial of moral and intellectual adulthood, can be reframed as protection, an expression of care, a moral duty. “won’t someone think of the children!” I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN!
thank god that the video game that features slow motion animations of graphic gunshot wounds and is rated 18+ has a profanity filter in single player offline mode. thank you for protecting this 33 year old mind from the corrupting influence that is a horse named apple slut
