a rare pair of paired rare pears

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
frozenartscapes
polytrix-juseyo

Huntr/x posting a 'workout with me' video, but they forget they are demon hunters so they post the wildest workout routine known to man, and they start seeing comments and posts like

"travel to the er with me after attempting huntr/x's work out video"

"i survived huntr/x workout video (barely). here's my story"

"i swear i saw rumi guiding me to the light after my huntr/x workout attempt"

"how many times do i need to throw up before i stop?"

frozenartscapes

Mira: “Let’s start with a quick warm up stretch” and proceeds to stretch in a way even contortionists would struggle with

Zoey: “Some basics I used to do in school back in the States” which is basically military bootcamp complete with 100 push ups, pull ups, one handed push ups, laps, and the infamous rope climb

Rumi: “We’ll start with some simple cardio followed by weights” and her routine is thirty minutes at a full sprint on the treadmill, a further fifteen on the “mountain hill” setting on the upright bike, then weight training that culminates with deadlifting 250lbs

kpdh
hadesisqueer
teaboot

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

teaboot

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

kansascity-elffriend

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

elidyce

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. 

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family. 

cipheramnesia

Cassandra: Penelope, I’ve had another vision.

Penelope, sighs: Go tell your father.

val-the-bun

image
sankta-wraith

the original? on my dash?