Thinking of soap being a very affectionate drunk...
Yes, affectionate. This special forces demolitions soldier, a man feared for his skills, wants nothing more than to cuddle with you.
He'll crawl into your booth, climb over ghost if he has to, just to shove his face into your abdomen and mutter "ahm' in love wit' ye, hen. Did you know that?"
This is soaps fourth love confession this month, so you chuckle indulgently and pat his head.
You pointedly ignore the pitying looks your teammates give you, knowing of the crush you've had on Johnny since...well. since you met him.
You've long since learned to ignore that pang in your chest whenever the word "love" stumbles out of his drunken mouth. He never mentions it in the morning, probably doesn't remember, knowing him.
Recently, it hurts more. Hearing the words you only dream of, and knowing it means nothing. You start rejecting Johnny's offers to go out for drinks, finding whatever excuse you can.
You're trained to lie, to deceive, but johnny has always been smart.
So the next time you dismiss his offer, soap catches the door before you can close it. He looks genuinely, heartbreakingly, upset. "What's gotten into ye? Yer avoidin' me."
You pursr your lips, wishing johnny were anyone else. He knows how to read you too well to lie directly to his face. So you sigh and admit "...I don't like drinking with you, johnny."
"Why the hell not?" He shoots back, leaning fully into your doorway now, blocking escape.
"You...you keep confessing to me. Saying shit about how you love me." You whisper, refusing to look at him. "I know you don't, it's fine, but it...hurts to hear. I guess."
You wait for the awkward silence, for the rushed apologies and Johnny's cringing face. Instead, he makes a winded noise "....what? I've been doing what? Hen, I'm...I'm really sorry."
You force your expression into one of gentle indifference, reaching out to hold soaps bicep "It's fine, johnny, I get it–"
"No! No, hen, you don't." Soap cuts you off, sounding a bit panicked now "I'm sorry you thought I don't love you. I'm sorry you ever thought I didn't mean it."
"So you knew...?"
"No. I um– i actually planned to take ye to dinner tonight, but I did mean it. I really do love ye." Soap's hand trails up to your neck, and he leans in closer to press his forehead to yours. "We can still go to dinner, love."
"Yeah...yeah. that sounds nice." You reply, too caught up in the sudden swell of joy. Soap does love you. You spent all this time agonizing over it, and he's always loved you.
It feels...really nice, knowing that.







