it IS surreal when companies decide to invent the torment nexus from hit media franchise "dont invent the torment nexus" but also to be fair a lot of "dont invent the torment nexus" stories are less "don't invent the torment nexus" and more "oh god has anyone noticed that we are dangerously close to inventing the torment nexus. can we please stop inventing the torment nexus. the torment nexus is maybe 2-3 years away. is anybody listening."

I'll be hosting my own kinktober, where the only thing allowed is two characters asking each other for consent to watch paint dry

fuck… the police are on the way now, I’m getting the death penalty

Unless the building was built the exact same month as both of the characters (I am assuming they were born the same month or else its CREEPY) this whole conversation is problematic in the first place

Reblog if you forgot to ask the wall

Is anyone even using Tumblr while NOT being in the bathroom?

hey handsome, pissing by yourself?

Me, to all of you, apparently (in a non-creepy, worried about your bladder way)

Reblog if you are pissing by yourself

They could be you! They could be me! They could even be-

Reblog if it could be you

Very gradually increasing the size of my animated show's primary love interest's dick bulge from episode to episode to see how long it takes for the producers to tell me to knock it off.

I am once again struck by the sense that Tumblr's userbase has access to a very different version of Dungeon Meshi than I do.

Reblog if you have access to a very different version of Dungeon Meshi than they do

spell slots are stored in the boobs

How is there a relevant comic strip?

I should really level my spellcasting... Guess i need to eat more mana-positive food

Reblog if you should really level your spell casting

CLEAR SKIN IS SO ATTRACTIVE I’D CHOP A TOE OFF FOR CLEAR SKIN FOREVER

I swear to fucking god writing a post on this website is like talking to a fucking genie! Better be specific as shit or some smart as is gonna ruin your life

op has a point tho having clar bone see skin is very attractive i didn’t know i was so into clear skin until now don’t aproch me if i can’t see your bones claerly through your skin

Reblog if you want clear skin

I've assassinated a lot of templars in those places

Reblog if you are looking at medieval cloisters

Reblog if you are susceptible to long covid

speaking of unhinged stupid shit I've read recently

torn between astonishment at how stupid this is and a momentary breathless giddiness at the idea of somehow creating a psyop among conservative americans where we create a moral panic over sex for procreation.

Reblog if you there was somebody you forgot to ask

Oh no I gave the (not a sex machine) tentacle robot a knife and now it's slinking around a knife in a threatening manner

How could my hubris cause the robot uprising

Reblog if your hubris could cause the robot uprising

he sure customized the delivery experience

Well, now, strictly speaking, was that actually a “delivery“ experience? If it’s in the road, is it really “delivered” to the person who ordered it? 

Reblog if you have had a customized delivery experience

my geiger counter's purring, she must really like you! :-)

Reblog she really likes you

sometimes i have a thought and go “this would do numbers on tumblr dot com” and oh boy the numbers! 0. absolutely fucking nothing. maybe 1 if i’m lucky.

I think it’s a bit more than 1, just possibly

Reblog if you were lucky

its honestly bananas to me that so many on this website seem to assume that someone's tumblr output is an accurate reflection of their real life priorities and activism and all of their beliefs in order of how hard they believe them. like. idk about you guys but i'm reblogging things that i want to reblog not keeping a minute by minute record of my deepest held beliefs. for one thing my deepest held beliefs are mostly not about star wars

Star Wars accounts for about a third of my deepest held beliefs

Reblog if your deepest held beliefs ARE about Starwars

Does all of Tumblr know this man?

why are all of your screenshots covered in molasses

its not molasses its the coffee ron spilt all over them

Reblog if you know this man