my mom just walked into the room, announced "observe" in a grave voice, and showed me a tupperware of soup

And did you observe the soup?

I did duly observe the soup

Merry Soup Observation to all, and to all a good night~

Screeching

same energy

The man bursts into tears. “But doctor,” he cries, “I am Pagliacci.” It is then that I stand from my seat. “No, doctor- I am Pagliacci.” Another follows suit. “No, I am Pagliacci!” Another. “I am Pagliacci!” Soon all of the patients stand, tall and defiant. “I am Pagliacci! I am Pagliacci!” The doctor cannot take us all

Penny and her eeveelutions

credit: mikripkm on X

AH I LOVE THEM AHHHHH

*whispers* holy shit people are amazing.

I have started unironically doing this. It is DEVASTATINGLY effective. You make friends SO easily.

Stop wishing people would do this and be the person who does this.

thats actually so beautiful im in love with the shapes off trees and how clear of a picture i have of this place existing in nature

“I never thought the Torment Nexus from the sci-fi novel ‘Don’t Invent The Torment Nexus’ would bite MY face,” said LG Senior VP of Enshittification Brian Dermal, having come directly from a companywide conference on how to convert most of their domestic appliance range to a premium ad-free subscription-based model, including a teakettle that whistles the Nationwide jingle until you send it $25 in bitcoin.

It's called a seal because it is made of wax

He is wax <3<3<333

But he will never melt like the candle because he is in the water and water cools him off

Miniature di Mara Swelt

*scrooge voice* spirit of christmas future, for what wretched soul do they play the crab rave? spirit, take away this frightful vision! let me not see these hateful crabs!

Ask not for whom the crabs rave, they rave for thee.

Courtesy of @theshitpostcalligrapher:

You know this is fun because “ask not for whom the bell tolls” is about how the death of one person is a loss for everyone because everyone’s life is precious. So I find it very interesting that “ask not for whom the crab raves” is basically the opposite. I think that’s pretty neat.

We can tell you're trans because your titties lack the structure provided by titty bones (titty bones are real btw and archeologists are gonna know that your titties were all soft and squishy and fun to play with UNLIKE authentic cis woman titties).

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