i like this picture i might make one for everything i like

Green onion mantra

imagine: I bum a cigarette off of you outside of some skanky dive bar and then eat the entire thing, lit, whole, while making direct eye contact with you

the instagram fitness community loves sidewalk oats

Italians are withholding from the public how easy it is to make fettuccine alfredo because they want to lure you into their gay little restaurants

the classic trope of "what if you went to a town and it was weird" never fails

and the nominees for best picture are: "sinners"... "one battle after another"... "marty supreme"... "ragebaiting my fat dog pt 20"

WELCOEM TO MY FUCK HOUSE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

this post is still good even without the glitch that’s how good this post is

for those who forgot about the hellhole that was the 2015 tumblr glitch:

it’s been 10 years since WELCOEM TO MY FUCK HOUSE

age aggressing to 65 so i can retire

Hey.

Don't post online about what protests you plan to attend.

Be safe. Be smart. Don't fall for the weird pressure to liveblog political actions when we live in a surveillance state.

And for fuck's sake, stop posting unredacted pictures of people at protests. It's not a fucking party. It's a political action and you could get someone killed. I have a personal friend who was doxxed and harassed for MONTHS in 2020 after their photo at a protest got passed around by neonazis. Do not be a part of that happening to someone.

don’t bring your phone

oh no did something happen in 1918?

IVE ALREADY CRIED ENOUGH ABOUT THE RUSSIAN ROYAL FAMILY ALL BEING MURDERED I DO NOT NEED REMINDERS GGRGFED

yeah you would be a Harry Potter fan

literally so annoying to be going Through It in a deeply unserious way where like no one needs to be worried about me i’m gonna survive and things are gonna get better like they always do but right now at this very moment it feels like my soul has unmoored and started dissolving in my stomach and its killing me slowly and painfully but also i’m Fine

after further consideration i think this might just be how january is

tragic when a thing gets hate for being 'woke trash' and you look into it and its not even that woke. like cmon man i was promised monacle popping gay commie propaganda. this is just a video game with a woman in it.

new favorite reddit user

I’m watching The Big Bang Theory in its natural setting—playing in the background of a hot spiral room—and I can say within that specific context, it is a very charming show. Like the saltine crackers of media.

Hospital room. A hospital room. Not a hot spiral room. What a nightmare idea. And you all rolled with that idea. The idea that I was sitting in a hot sweltering spiral prison watching the Big Bang theory is actually what hell is. Bazinga.

*smirking* you couldn't waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?