one of the reasons why "what if people went on a road trip and it was weird" is one of the oldest story types is that a lot of sense of personhood has been, historically, tied to place. the weird road trip says "what if we went somewhere else, where no one knows us, and tried out being a different person".

Odysseus, the famous liar, goes on a weird road trip & over the course of it becomes several different people, and then comes home & is all those people as well as himself, wearing the echoes of those other people

What’s that quote? There are only two kinds of stories: a man goes on a journey, or a stranger comes to town.

i had a dream i went to nintendo and they revealed to me that all this time the real pokemon designer was this Russian guy named Vladimir Pokemondesigner and i asked him why he named jigglypuff that and he said “is puff. is jiggly. are you a jokester?” and crushed my head like an empty soda can

Consider this (based on a conversation I had with some friends a while ago): Pride and Prejudice and Zombies for people who actually like Pride and Prejudice. Look–I tried to read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and I got about 20 pages in before I came to the conclusion that the person who wrote it did so out of the belief that the original Pride and Prejudice was stuffy and boring. There were out of character vulgar puns. And the trailer for the movie did not convince me that I had missed anything by cutting short my reading experience. So, what I’m talking about here is this premise: the world of Pride and Prejudice, but if you die, it’s highly likely, almost certain that your corpse will get up and try to eat people. But no one dies in Pride and Prejudice, you might say. In fact, few or no people die in any Jane Austen novel. This is true. But people do get sick with some regularity. Imagine the tension added to Jane getting sick after going to visit Bingley if there was the chance that she would become a zombie after she died. Becoming a zombie in an eligible bachelor’s house probably would have seriously wrecked any chances of any of the living sisters ending up with him. Imagine Mr. Collins, as a minister, having the duty upon someone’s death of severing their head with a ceremonial plate or something that would prevent the corpse from rising. Obviously important, but this only makes him more self-important and obnoxious. And dangerous. For you see, in this version, Mr. Bennett, who stays in his office all the time, whose life is the only thing allowing Mrs. Bennett and her daughters to stay in the house–Mr. Bennett is definitely a zombie. He died at home, and Mrs. Bennett decided that, no way were they dealing with this, and so…just started faking it. Jane and Elizabeth know. The younger sisters don’t. In this universe, I think we have to go with zombies that are not any faster or stronger than the humans they were, and in fact tend to get weaker as time passes because their flesh is rotting. And…hmm, okay, how about they are pretty violent upon rising, and for about a week afterward, trying to bite people and spread the infection (even though most people are carriers anyway, but getting a nasty bite from a corpse will give you other stuff that will have you die while carrying the virus). But then they calm down and basically just start sort of attempting to act like they did in life, that is, taking habitual actions with no consciousness, in a depressing and desiccated way. So Mr. Bennett is a zombie, and Mrs. Bennett’s number one goal is to get her daughters married before anyone finds that out. And this, actually, makes Elizabeth’s refusal of Mr. Collins more frustrating for Mrs. Bennett–obviously Mr. Bennett didn’t tell Elizabeth that she could refuse Mr. Collins, because Mr. Bennett is dead, but Mrs. Bennett can’t say anything or the game would be up. Another question in this version–does Mr. Darcy find out about Mr. Bennett being a zombie somehow? Does Elizabeth find out that he knows and didn’t say anything and this is something that helps repair his earlier actions? Anyway, this is the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies that I was looking for.

Okay also: in the original, when Elizabeth walks through the rain all the way to bingley’s to care for Jane while she’s sick, it’s a very dramatic expression of both Elizabeth’s love for her sister and her penchant for flamboyant rebellion, but consider, if there is a chance Jane will wake up a zombie and Elizabeth knows it, how does that change the dynamic? Elizabeth might be going to help take care of Jane, or to *take care* of Jane should things take a more morbid turn…by killing her zombie sister.

This works especially well if zombieism is communicable prior to death; if mr. Bennett is a zombie and only the elder Bennetts know, that means Jane has been pre-exposed and is almost certain to wake up as a zombie should she die in the Bingleys’ care— which the Bingleys do not know. Elizabeth has to forge through the rain to be there in case things get ugly, because she knows that the Bingleys aren’t prepared.

And I think you pretty much HAVE to make Mr. Bennett’s zombie status play a role in how and why Darcy separates Bingley from Jane—the heavy implication behind Darcy’s line about the want of propriety shown even by her father hits Elizabeth like a ton of bricks as she realizes he knows—he knows, and he thought Jane lying to Bingley about it was evidence that Jane didn’t love Bingley—but—but Darcy must not have told Bingley that part of it. Bingley couldn’t keep a secret on his life; if he knew, his sister would know, and word would already be out and they’d have been ruined by now—

And of course, not only does the fact that Darcy, who owes their family nothing, has kept and continues to keep this secret for them even after Elizabeth’s refusal deepen the gratitude she begins to feel for him after the letter of explanation, but it also liberates Elizabeth to fall in love with him. Because Elizabeth-who-wants-to-marry-for-love would never be happy marrying someone who didn’t know the family secret in advance. She had resigned herself to spinsterhood because she couldn’t be satisfied with having to hoodwink someone to have their hand, but also couldn’t put her family at risk by trusting someone who wasn’t bound to them by more than an engagement. (Maybe she was even tempted to confide in Wickham at one point, and hasn’t Darcy’s letter proven she was absolutely right not to yield to that passing thought.) But Darcy figured it out himself, and he’s kept her trust, and she could fall in love with him without guilt—if she hadn’t already turned him down.

AND THEN LYDIA HAPPENS. And Darcy realizes immediately that Mr. Bennett can’t do anything to recover her—and if Mr. Bennett doesn’t do anything about Lydia, Mr. Collins might become suspicious, or even just officously involve himself, so find out the while thing. When Darcy blames himself for not revealing Wickham’s character, it’s with a much more immediate sense of urgency. It’s not that the other sisters’ marriage prospects being ruined may impoverish them down the road—it might immediately drag them all into destitution. That’s why he rushes off to go look for Lydia himself.

(source)

There are so many ways to make moodboards, bookcovers, and icons without infringing copyright! As artists, authors, and other creatives, we need to be especially careful not to use someone else’s work and pass it off as our own. 

Please add on if you know any more sites for free images <3

UNSPLASH IS MY GOAT USE UNSPLASH

and would it be too mean if I said that when it comes to discovering new books to read it seems like of people would rather just act willfully helpless and blame tiktok for "ruining literature" instead of putting in a very small amount of effort to find the damn books?

whenever this conversation comes up a lot of people start saying something akin to "just read older books" and while I do agree that humanity has an absolutely staggering backlog of books big enough to keep anyone entertained, it often seems to come with an unspoken implication (or, sometimes, ca very clear statement) that this is necessary because all books published now are Awful and Bad. to which I would like to say, respectfully, Shut The Fuck Up. the books that annoy you are not the sum total of everything being published.

personally I think best results will always come from just wandering around a library or indie bookstore and picking stuff up, but variety is the spice of life so here are some other places where I like to learn about cool new books coming out

BookBrowse is a great resource that includes readalikes, new releases, and the option to filter fiction and nonfiction by genre, subgenres, time period, setting, page count, debut books, and small presses.

BookPage publishes small monthly magazines that can be found in many libraries and bookstores, but all of their lists, author interviews, and reviews can also be found on their website. each month spotlights new releases across a variety of genres and age groups.

Electric Literature publishes short stories, poems, novel excerpts, interviews with authors, and even the occasional book list

the Indie Next List compiles a monthly list of titles recommended by independent booksellers across the US, with an archive of lists

Lit Hub publishes lots of great pieces and literary news, in addition to book lists

over at Paste we've got, you guessed it, reviews, recommendations, and author interviews

like sci-fi, fantasy, and horror? check out Reactor Mag! among other things, they have monthly compilations of all the genre fiction coming out

and for my podcast heads check out The Stacks, where host Traci Thomas is dropping weekly interviews with authors about their new books and the podcasts' monthly book club reads

I humbly suggest that true crime freaks should get into learning about scammers instead of serial killers. I LOVE reading about fraud and grifts and pyramid schemes. true crime ppl have all this paranoid energy about murder, which is rare in the grand scheme of things.....maybe instead that could be channeled into some productive rage toward capitalism.

And u know a side effect of learning about scam artists is that you start to understand certain things about economics, and just how STUPID these systems are and how easily they are taken advantage of....and I'd much rather people gained a passing familiarity with economics than whatever armchair psychologist shit these true crimers get on. We need fewer people who think they're experts on "sociopaths" and more people who understand how people like Elizabeth Holmes and the WeWork guy were able to do what they did

Here are some of my favorite books about financial scams:

The Wizard of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust by Diana B. Henriques.

The Big Short: Inside the Doomsday Machine by Michael Lewis (about the 2008 stock market collapse).

The Caesar's Palace Coup: How a Billionaire Brawl Over the Famous Casino Exposed the Corruption of the Private Equity Industry by Max Frumes and Sujeet Indap. (I admit I've never finished this one; the writing is hard to read.)

The Great Beanie Baby Bubble: Mass Delusion and the Dark Side of Cute, by Zac Bissonette. I bought this book because of the subtitle and I have never regretted it. You must read it.

Catch Me If You Can by Frank Abagnale. They turned this one into a movie! The book was very different and is worth reading.

The Cult of We: WeWork, Adam Neumann, and the Great Startup Delusion, by Elliot Brown and Maureen Farrell. I haven't read this one yet, but it's on my tbr pile!

Opus: The Cult of Dark Money, Human Trafficking, and Right-Wing Conspiracy Inside the Catholic Church, by Gareth Gore. I'm reading this one right now. The author is a financial journalist who stumbled onto this story by unraveling a bank failure in Spain.

And here's a list of more non-fiction books about fraud and financial scams. The first book on this list is about Theranos and Elizabeth Holmes, which I also haven't read yet.

Enjoy!

I want to add, if you’ve got access to it, the BBC Radio 4 series (or podcast) “Scam Secrets” is a fascinating look into scams that are currently running.

OP has a point about capitalism, but actually I want to reblog this as someone who recently answered the phone to a scammer and say: we need true crime to make people more vigilant in their personal lives. You're at way more risk from an unknown number calling you than from anyone slicing your Achilles' tendons as you walk through a parking lot. I don't care so much about the people scammed by Elizabeth Holmes but I do care about worried and confused senior citizens buying thousands of dollars in gift cards because they think they need to help their grandson who's in trouble in another state.

Seconding this. There’s also a lot of crossover between scams and cults, which are also useful for people to be aware of. “Oh I’m not religious so I’d never fall for a cult” “oh I’m smart and savvy I’d never join a cult” oh boy do I have some fun stuff to tell you about cults.

Hey, Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and the Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing by Emily Lynn Paulson is a great intro to MLMs!

True crime NK murder

i think we should all start using arabic words and phrases more often because its a beautiful language and also theres not really. english equivalents that have the same vibes

theres also the comedy potential of it. you guys dont know the joy of having your muslim friend text you "hopefully the racists in our city will all get sick and cant go to the protest" and you, as a pasty white guy, responding with "inshallah they get covid"

its a one hit KO every time. its fucking hilarious. theres no english word that has the same effect.

he also once texted me that he got over a mysterious illness he came down with (i think? i cant remember the exact context) and i responded with "subhanallah he is cured"

again, one hit KO. he lost his shit.

what im saying is we gotta normalise arabic. its just a language like any other, and it has some great words. its just like saying "thank god" or whatever, but theres so much variety and nuance. its beautiful

what do inshallah and subhanallah mean so I could potentially use em in the correct situations? And potential words I could use?

OK LETS DO THIS

disclaimer i am not arab or muslim and i dont speak arabic but @frogofalltime has explained these words to me and says im using them correctly lmao

inshallah - "if god wills it". like an "i hope this happens" kind of thing. remember the finding nemo poster "inshallah they find him" meme if that helps. used in future tense.

mashallah - "god has willed it", used when something good happened. can be used to denote awe about an event or person. used in past tense.

alhamdulillah - essentially "thank god" or "praise be to god". like mashallah and inshallah but stronger, and can be used in any tense (i think). he will be baked soon alhamdullilah

subhanallah - "glory be to god". like alhamdullilah but stronger. used for when something almost miraculous happens!

those are all the ones i remember off the top of my head im sure binya can add more (and also confirm whether ive got my translations right)

mashaallah robin my faithful student you translated and explained all of this so well :0

there's also astaghfirullah which means "i seek forgiveness in god" which you use when you or someone else does something haram (forbidden / sinful / wrong). tbh we use it in a lot of jokey contexts like if someone swears in a conversation you can call them out like "astaghfirullah haram !"

and bismillah which means "in the name of god" which you can use before doing something, we often use it before doing a difficult thing like when you are struggling to open a bottle or something lmao. or you can say it when someone falls or drops something or gets injured. idk

appalachians need this they will be unstoppable

There’s definitely something to doing a mix-and-match with semantically-similar rural-American colloquialisms. I think “Inshallah and the creek don’t rise” has a nice ring to it.

Lord that rolls off the tongue so good 😭

Ever think about how Eliot is known - widely known, globally known - for violence? That he's killed and maimed countless people, sometimes with his bare hands? That hardened criminals, assassins, hear his name and are afraid? Ever think about how it must feel to have someone like Parker, who is fully aware of his past and everything he's capable of, get in his space and physically tease him and put stupid hats on his head like he's her own giant dress-up doll, with zero fear, zero hesitation? To be on the receiving end of that bone-deep trust, where it never even seems to occur to her that poking the beast could be dangerous?

I think about it a lot.

#i also think about the way Eliot yells at Parker and Hardison sometimes#because! he's so controlled! so soft-spoken! with everyone#because he knows he IS scary and dangerous. he keeps his demeanor so mild to put people at ease#but when Parker and Hardison get under his skin he shouts at them and shows his irritation#as if HE is trusting THEM to know that his anger will never ever come with violence. that he is never a threat to them.#he can let his guard down. he can be human. and cranky. and imperfect. he can be teased like a regular person.#i just wonder how it feels. to be seen as lovable and funny and playful and safe.#to be seen as a man after so many years of only being a weapon. (via mariposakitten)

Look, I have nothing against my older gifs still gaining notes - I honestly love it! BUT, this was my second ever leverage gif, and lets just say that it's just not up to par when compared to my current stuff. So, here you all are, a new improved version of this gif!

ID: both gifs show a sequence from Leverage whereon Parker, wearing a nutcracker jacket and hat, puts an intricately-ornamented hat on Eliot. /end ID

I am thinking about Parker’s history of being abused, starting from childhood. I’m thinking about the short scene of an adult two if not three times her size towering over her, belittling her and taking her things. I’m thinking about that trafficker in episode 2 who got too close to her and she stabbed him in the chest with a fork. But she plays like this with Eliot, even though Eliot is very dangerous, even though he yells at her sometimes! Because she trusts him beyond that. Because he’s proven he’s trustworthy.

Ever think about how Eliot is known - widely known, globally known - for violence? That he's killed and maimed countless people, sometimes with his bare hands? That hardened criminals, assassins, hear his name and are afraid? Ever think about how it must feel to have someone like Parker, who is fully aware of his past and everything he's capable of, get in his space and physically tease him and put stupid hats on his head like he's her own giant dress-up doll, with zero fear, zero hesitation? To be on the receiving end of that bone-deep trust, where it never even seems to occur to her that poking the beast could be dangerous?

I think about it a lot.

#i also think about the way Eliot yells at Parker and Hardison sometimes#because! he's so controlled! so soft-spoken! with everyone#because he knows he IS scary and dangerous. he keeps his demeanor so mild to put people at ease#but when Parker and Hardison get under his skin he shouts at them and shows his irritation#as if HE is trusting THEM to know that his anger will never ever come with violence. that he is never a threat to them.#he can let his guard down. he can be human. and cranky. and imperfect. he can be teased like a regular person.#i just wonder how it feels. to be seen as lovable and funny and playful and safe.#to be seen as a man after so many years of only being a weapon. (via mariposakitten)

Look, I have nothing against my older gifs still gaining notes - I honestly love it! BUT, this was my second ever leverage gif, and lets just say that it's just not up to par when compared to my current stuff. So, here you all are, a new improved version of this gif!

ID: both gifs show a sequence from Leverage whereon Parker, wearing a nutcracker jacket and hat, puts an intricately-ornamented hat on Eliot. /end ID

A recent conversation in a discord group reminded me of something important. If you're on the younger side (under 25 or 30) and you haven't seen all the incredible, dark and disturbing fantasy films that came out in the 1980s and late 1970s, then I would strongly encourage you to do so. There was something so dark about that genre during that time that I absolutely adore and that isn't really around in modern films for children and young adults (once they learned that it traumatized a whole generation of us).

My faves in case you need any recommendations. (Some of these are really not appropriate for children, so keep that in mind lol).

The Dark Crystal - 1982 - the Skeksis will give you nightmares. I am honestly very proud of the remake for being just as disturbing if not more so than the original.

Watership Down - 1978- NOT FOR CHILDREN - Jesus Christ why did so many of our parents show us this film at a formative age? It's all about trauma and death and displacement and there's literal blood and murder. Not a G Rated Film. Still, it's very good. Loads better than that CGI remake from a decade ago.

The Secret Of NIMH - 1982 - Incredible movie. Minor disturbing elements. Probably my favorite on the list. It's just a great adventure story with real world issues (animal experimentation, mental health problems, disabilities) and there's even a lovely romance. Highly recommend.

Legend - 1985- This film is just straight up disturbing. Yes, there's a lot of beautiful shots of unicorns and sexy, 20-something year old (insane Scientology wack job) Tom Cruise and gorgeous Mia Sara, but there's also torture, madness and literally the Devil (Tim Curry is the entire reason you should watch this film)

Labyrinth - 1986 - I only really have two words. David. Bowie. My 10 year old self found out about a lot of burgeoning kinks while watching that man prance around in eyeliner and a codpiece. It's a wonderful adventure as well - if you ignore the blatant romantic and sexual tension between Bowie and an underage Jennifer Connelly (none of us could)

The NeverEnding Story - 1984 - Lots of disturbing imagery in this one! The Nothing was fucking terrifying, and the creatures in this world seemed uniformly creepy, but still incredibly well done. Love the adventure of it.

The Princess Bride - 1987 - Not technically a kids film maybe? Lots of adult themes and adult jokes, but safe for kids imo. I adored it and still do. Incredible performances by Cary Elwes and Mandy Patinkin. R.O.U.S, Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! (need I say more?)

The Last Unicorn - 1982 - A beautiful film with stunning representations of innocence, good and evil. Just gorgeous really. I should rewatch it as it's been 20 years or so.

what if your doppelgänger wasn’t evil it was just a person. what if your doppelgänger wasn’t trying to replace you it was just trying to learn to be a person and you were the best model it had. what if your doppelgänger looked at you with your eyes and said with your voice that it just wanted to be loved. what then.

ugh we need more manipulative characters that aren’t evil. lie and cheat and steal for a good cause. control every narrative. use narcissism for justice. ruin all of your personal relationships for the good of the mission.

For all we know the strong as fuck ice mummy could actually be a tender and gentle lover

#airplane into his third redbull of the afternoon (@/nebulations)

i left a poem out over night. one hundred lovesick beetles and ants in the kitchen

The three tiers of queer sff:

Broke: what is worldbuilding? Made in a lab to be as blandly inoffensive as possible. Time to randomly namedrope terms like 'nonbinary' and 'ace' while doing zero work actually incorporating them into the world or characters and have someone give a speech about how valid they are. Lines like 'I'm too ace for this' while never exploring the concept of asexuality or aromanticism and still having very central romance plotlines is common. I hate it here learn how to write realistic dialogue and fully realized characters I'm begging.

Woke: more ore less typical sci-fi and fantasy but It’s Queer Now. Might include in-universe queerphobia to be struggled against or may have queer identities be fully normalized. Can be done bad or well depending on the skill of the writer. A good way to explore our contemporary ideas of gender and sexuality or to have a bit of a power fantasy with lesbian princesses and trans knights. There will probably be a bisexual love triangle.

Bespoke: what is a gender. What is monogamy. What is polyamory. What is romance. What is platonic. Time to show you the most fucked up uncategorizable relationship you’ve ever seen. There may be weird ass metaphorical sex

fuck it

Book recs: tier three queer sff

AKA books that tackle gender, sexuality and relationships in ways that come off as deeply alien and non normative to our present day culture, frequently featuring actual aliens.

For details on the books, check under the readmore! My personal favorites are marked with an *

A note: as I'm generally more into sci-fi than fantasy, this list skews heavily toward the former. Feel free to make your own recommendations in the notes if you know of more titles!

If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!

Weirdly specific character designs that keep coming up

1. Tragically disfigured ninja who never shows his face, whose popular love interest is a beautiful and professional white woman who wears a ponytail and works for a covert agency:

-Snake Eyes, GI Joe

-Genji Shimada, Overwatch

2. Stocky "lone wolf" guy with a shady past, military connections, long hair and one metal prosthetic arm who has had a bad time on a train:

-Bucky Barnes, Marvel

-Jesse McCree, Overwatch

-Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist

3. Immortal white man who is always cold, sparkly, and kept alive by supernatural forces, who appears mysteriously in the life of a young girl in a small town:

-Edward Cullen, Twilight

-Frosty the Snowman

4. Skinny pyromaniac explosives expert with a criminal record, who is motivated by financial gain into joining a motley crew of brilliant and highly capable individuals:

-Junkrat, Overwatch

-Vinny Santorini, Atlantis

-Crazy Harry, The Muppet Show

5. Regular disabled dude with supersensory abilities who uses his powers to fight crime and train younger vigilantes, often written and depicted in ways that rightfully piss off the disabled community:

-Matt Murdock, Daredevil

-Charles Xavier, X-Men

-Clint Barton, Hawkeye

6. Cranky old buff bastard with a weak spot for feral kids who who was physically enhanced by morally bankrupt scientists a really long time ago, who has had a deep and meaningful relationship with a man despite the distance that is often between them:

-Geralt of Rivia, The Witcher

-Gabriel Reyes, Overwatch

-Wolverine, X-Men

7. Belligerent asshole intimately familiar with organized crime, whose "dead" misfit younger brother wasn't actually dead after all, has mysteriously become successful, and still loves him:

-Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock Holmes

-Hanzo Shimada, Overwatch

-Stan Pines, Gravity Falls

8. Actual wild animal with exceptional cognitive abilities who was raised by scientists and is known to wear a specific human clothing accessory linked to their sense of identity, who fights criminal activity outside of the public eye:

-Winston, Overtwatch

-Perry the Platypus, Phineas and Ferb

I would like to add (just for characters I like specifically):

English gentlemen named Jack who end up walking all over the countryside wrapped in a bearskin, miserable, for reasons related to their unsavory dealings, who flirt with women, and for whom the woman being married is not a dealbreaker:

-Jack Aubrey, the Aubrey-Maturin series

-Jack Wildbrain (nèe Wildgoose*), the Night-Walker

*nèe here meaning in earlier drafts and subsequently in some extant writing

Characters who narrowly escaped death by being fundamentally transformed into a vending machine in a strange world:

-NeoVend, Citizen Sleeper

-Aubrey, Look Outside

-the protagonist of I Reincarnated As A Vending Machine

Actually I think I have seen at least one other isekai/transmigration vending machine story, so perhaps this is not that niche. But shoutout to NeoVend and Aubrey! Oh wait hold on

NPCs in a game focused on the merging of the human and the synthetic who were observed by a fatal entity and subsequently were forced to become one with a vending machine by necessity:

-NeoVend, Citizen Sleeper

-Aubrey, Look Outside

Lagomorphs named “Killer” with some level of disguise who get far more involved in the POV character’s life than she wants them to be in a way related to curses and whom she is relieved to be done with being in close quarters with:

-Kyle R., Finally (Wendy Mass)

-Killer, the Enchanted Forest Chronicles (Calling on Dragons)

Animal-companioned half-caster archers in a homebrewed D&D setting who were powerless to save the life of their rogue twin (dressed in black with long black hair) who died to save them (and manage some contact with their twin after death, but find them estranged by the distance) and take levels in that dead twin’s class because of them:

-Vex’ahlia, Critical Role

-Ruby Rocks, A Crown of Candy

(Twins: Vax’ildan and Jet Rocks)

Weirdly specific character designs that keep coming up

1. Tragically disfigured ninja who never shows his face, whose popular love interest is a beautiful and professional white woman who wears a ponytail and works for a covert agency:

-Snake Eyes, GI Joe

-Genji Shimada, Overwatch

2. Stocky "lone wolf" guy with a shady past, military connections, long hair and one metal prosthetic arm who has had a bad time on a train:

-Bucky Barnes, Marvel

-Jesse McCree, Overwatch

-Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist

3. Immortal white man who is always cold, sparkly, and kept alive by supernatural forces, who appears mysteriously in the life of a young girl in a small town:

-Edward Cullen, Twilight

-Frosty the Snowman

4. Skinny pyromaniac explosives expert with a criminal record, who is motivated by financial gain into joining a motley crew of brilliant and highly capable individuals:

-Junkrat, Overwatch

-Vinny Santorini, Atlantis

-Crazy Harry, The Muppet Show

5. Regular disabled dude with supersensory abilities who uses his powers to fight crime and train younger vigilantes, often written and depicted in ways that rightfully piss off the disabled community:

-Matt Murdock, Daredevil

-Charles Xavier, X-Men

-Clint Barton, Hawkeye

6. Cranky old buff bastard with a weak spot for feral kids who who was physically enhanced by morally bankrupt scientists a really long time ago, who has had a deep and meaningful relationship with a man despite the distance that is often between them:

-Geralt of Rivia, The Witcher

-Gabriel Reyes, Overwatch

-Wolverine, X-Men

7. Belligerent asshole intimately familiar with organized crime, whose "dead" misfit younger brother wasn't actually dead after all, has mysteriously become successful, and still loves him:

-Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock Holmes

-Hanzo Shimada, Overwatch

-Stan Pines, Gravity Falls

8. Actual wild animal with exceptional cognitive abilities who was raised by scientists and is known to wear a specific human clothing accessory linked to their sense of identity, who fights criminal activity outside of the public eye:

-Winston, Overtwatch

-Perry the Platypus, Phineas and Ferb

I would like to add (just for characters I like specifically):

English gentlemen named Jack who end up walking all over the countryside wrapped in a bearskin, miserable, for reasons related to their unsavory dealings, who flirt with women, and for whom the woman being married is not a dealbreaker:

-Jack Aubrey, the Aubrey-Maturin series

-Jack Wildbrain (nèe Wildgoose*), the Night-Walker

*nèe here meaning in earlier drafts and subsequently in some extant writing

Characters who narrowly escaped death by being fundamentally transformed into a vending machine in a strange world:

-NeoVend, Citizen Sleeper

-Aubrey, Look Outside

-the protagonist of I Reincarnated As A Vending Machine

Actually I think I have seen at least one other isekai/transmigration vending machine story, so perhaps this is not that niche. But shoutout to NeoVend and Aubrey! Oh wait hold on

NPCs in a game focused on the merging of the human and the synthetic who were observed by a fatal entity and subsequently were forced to become one with a vending machine by necessity:

-NeoVend, Citizen Sleeper

-Aubrey, Look Outside