WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? GREATEST HITS of WESTERNS

Honestly, the gifset doesn’t do Colin’s delivery justice:

You know technology literacy is dying because I saw this meme with 76k likes

F11 the full screen button? You’re scared of the full screen button? F10?? It opens the menu bar???

Computers are so scary what if I accidentally hit F12 in a steam game and it takes a screenshot. What if I press shift + F12 while in word and accidentally save my document 😖

If you had to learn what the F keys on your computer do through me reblogging this post, then I'm glad you did. Computer literacy is not a skill that gets taught anymore, and it is absolutely one that needs to be taught in order to be learned. Don't ever feel bad for not knowing something, but ☝️ don't ever stop learning learning about your environment, the tools you use, and especially the people around you

Never stop learning+ Never stop sharing what you learned

also to be perfectly clear, the point of Trans Women In Sports debates is not actually whether or not we have a competitive advantage or are instead pathetic harmless eunuchs, the point is to punish and publicly shame us for trying to live our lives.

they have literally admitted this out loud

Just saying that "X GROUP WE DON'T LIKE has a biological advantage in sports and thus should be banned" is not a recent phenomena and goes back to at least the 70s where the same kind of language used to describe trans people in sports was also used to describe black people in sports. Like maybe this isn't just "people who care about the sanctity of women's sports" and is just pieces of shit using the same tools they've always used to fuck over other people, just with a new target. Also Gaine's entire motivation for her transphobia is that she tied (TIED, not beaten, just tied) for 5th place in a race. If having to share a podium for 5th place is the worst thing to happen to you, you gotta pretty good life.

“Great art, AI could never do this!” “Hell yeah! I love trans people! Transphobes cannot handle trans swag!” “Look at this lesbian dating another lesbian! We’re about to piss off the homophobes with this one” “POC have great cultural practices. I’m sure the racists are having heart attacks right now.””Love seeing disabled people around. Bet the ableist are peeing their pants right now.”

Oh I get it, we’re in the Bad Place.

"But what's wrong with this?" What's wrong with this is that often times, people leave these types of comments when it's not necessary.

Leaving comments like this takes a moment of celebration and turns it to a moment of spite.

This is especially annoying when it's online. Most online spaces are algorithmically based and since algorithms like to share posts that will spread controversy, comments like that are only going to attract more people to it.

Bringing generative AI into a conversation that was started when someone wanted to share their art is just going to attract a generative AI dick rider to "erm actually..." the conversation. Bringing transphobia into a conversation that's supposed to be support of trans people will cause transphobes to enter the conversation and remind said trans person about transphobia. And so on and so forth.

If you want to show your support, keep the first half and drop the second half. Just say "you're amazing" and move on. It's a supportive message and it's still a celebration.

This is also the exact same mental trap conservatives and right-wingers fall into, doing shit just to "own the libs" - then their entire existence becomes defined by hatred instead of having an actual personality

If you can't enjoy something without thinking about how it's pissing off someone you don't like, then what's even the point??

YES, thank you!

Just like being a Republican changed from being a side that stood for the individual person is now just "triggering the libs," if we go down that same route, we will be just as lost.

If everyone is just hellbent on hating the other side, who will be around to love us?

You can't say "look at these people getting triggered by us just living our lives" when in the next breath you admit that you're doing it on purpose. You're no longer just living your life, no longer merely existing. It's not only a sad way to live your life, it also becomes strategically self-defeating.

There was this really interesting post someone did about... I think traditional Chinese makeup from one of the dynasties. And it went on for several posts/reblogs being interesting and historical, and then someone came along to post about how upset they'd be if they saw white people doing this, or something like that, and I was just so impressed because until they came along, it hadn't been about white people for a change.

Inner Child

Silent, mild

Stay within your cage

Bury all your rage

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Average Scarlet Hollow dev update is like: Hey everyone Tony and Abby here to let you all know that we're still working in the next chapter. The script is currently 280,000 words long (likely going to be at least 50,000 more by the next update) and the grand total is 1,500,000 words long. This is because we have to account for all the branching pathways that consider literally every little choice you make so we gotta consider what it's like for a comp-sci major living in an apartment with a cat (which they can talk to because of weird powers) that's just been cursed to be 10 years older to interact with a band of rats (which gives you a line of dialogue only maybe 0.1% of players will ever see). Abby has been hard at work drawing 86 new backgrounds and new 827 sprites (yes including the stuff for the gilf and various monster romance routes) and Brandon has made 15 new tracks of the most haunting music you've ever heard. We've been having lots of fun and hope you're all doing well with the wait!!

the energy I bring to every conversation about politics

“X bodily fluid is just filtered blood!” buddy I hate to break it to you but ALL of the fluids in your body are filtered blood. Your circulatory system is how water gets around your body. It all comes out of the blood (or lymph, which is just filtered blood).

“Okay but why is it always so chemically roundabout and unnecessarily complicated” well buddy, that’s because your blood is imitation seawater. See? It’s very simple.

Blood is what now?

It’s imitation seawater what part is confusing

#are you telling me#humans are just sentient aquariums? 

Buddy if anything is living in your blood (except for more parts of you) in detectable amounts then you have a serious microbial infection and need to go to the hospital.

Humans are seawater wastelands kept sterile of all but human cells, with microbial mats coating their surfaces.

Thank you that’s…very disturbing

It’s not my fault you’re human.

Ok but “It’s not my fault you’re human.” Is the best comeback ever.

You can use it against anyone except children that you biologically helped to create.

#/blood is imitation seawater/ is the part that’s confusing 

Picture this: you are a Thing That Lives In The Ocean. Some kind of small multicellular animal a long time ago, before proper circulatory systems existed. “Wow,” you think, metaphorically, “it sure is difficult to diffuse chemicals across my whole body. Kinda puts a hard limit on the size and distance of what specialised organs I can have. Good thing I have all this water around me that’s the same salinity as my cells (they have to be that way so I don’t explode or shrivel up) so I can diffuse and filter chemicals with that.”

“Wait a minute,” you say a couple of generations later, because you’re not actually a small animal but an evolutionary process personified and simplified to the point of dangerous inaccuracy for the purposes of a Tumblr post, “instead of losing all these important chemicals to the water around me, how about I put it in tubes? I can keep MY water separate from the rest of the world’s water! Anything I want to keep goes in my water! Anything I don’t, I dump back into the outside water! I’m a genius! An unthinking natural trial-and-error process that’s a GENIUS!”

“Wow,” you think a great many generations later, “being able to have such control over such high concentrations of important chemicals is so great. Look how big I’m getting. I even have a special pump to move my seawater around, and these cool filter systems to keep the chemicals in it right, and that control and chemical concentration has let me grow so many energy-intensive, highly specialised organs! Being big is so hard. I need special cells just to carry my oxygen around now, to make sure my enormous, constantly-operating body has enough of it.”

At this point you are embodying a fish, and eventually, fish start straying into water with different pressures and salinity levels. (I mean, they do that since befor ehty’er fish, but… look, I’m trying to keep things simple here.) “What the FUCK,” you think. “My inside water is at a different salinity and pressure to the outside water?? How am I supposed to deal with that? I can’t have freshwater inside my seawater tubes! My cells have a set salinity and they would explode! I need to start beefing up my regulatory and filter systems so that my inside seawater STAYS SEAWATER OF THE CORRECT SALINITY even if the outside water is different! Fortunately, adding salt to my seawater is a lot easier than removing it, and I want to be saltier than this weird outside water.” At this point you beef up your liver and urinary systems to compensate for different salinities. (Note: the majority of fish, freshwater and saltwater, have a fairly narrow band of salinities they can live in. Every fish doesn’t get to deal with every level of salinity; they are evolved to regulate within specific bands.)

You also, at some point, go out on land. This is new and weird because you have to carry all of your water inside. “It’s a good thing I turned myself into a giant bag of seawater,” you think. “If I wasn’t carrying my seawater inside, how would I transport all these important chemicals between my organs and the environment?” As you specialise to live entirely outside of the water, you realise (once again) that it’s a lot easier to add salt to water than to remove it in great quantities. Drinking seawater in large amounts becomes toxic; your body isn’t specialised for removing that amount of salt. Instead, you drink freshwater, and add salts to that. The majority of your organs are, at this point, specialised for moving your seawater around, protecting it, adding stuff to it, or taking stuff out. You have turned yourself into an intelligent bag for carrying and regulating a small amount of imitation seawater, and its salinity (and your commitment to maintaining that salinity) is based entirely on the seawater that some early animals started to build tubes around a long time ago.

And that’s what a human is!

Well, there’s another few steps, of course.

Because at some point, operating along lines of logic that worked out perfectly so far, you did decide to be a mammal.

A mammal is a machine for adapting to Circumstances. A mammal is a tremendously resilient all-terrain life-support system, with built-in heating, cooling, respiration, and incubators for reproduction. Mammals internalise everything (grudges, eggs) and furthermore are excessively, flamboyantly wet internally. Sure, everyone’s a bag of chemicals; but mammals slosh. Mammals took the concept of an internal ocean and took it in an unnecessarily splashy direction, added aftermarket mods and a climate-control system,

and just to show off, you leaned across the metaphorical gambling table and said: “my internal ocean is so good-“

“Bullshit,” said the shark, keeping it salty (ha)

“My internal ocean is so brilliantly resilient, more so than any of YOURS,” you said, holding their attention with a digit held aloft, “that for my next trick, I shall artistically recreate the ballad of evolution as a performance. I shall craft a complex chemical ballet depicting the origin of multicellular life - using some of my own material, of course-”

“Oh, ANYONE can lay an egg,” yodel the fish, and the ray adds: “ontogeny does NOT recapitulate phylogeny!!”

And you’re like, “yeah no, it’s an artistic rendition, not a literal thing. Basically I’m going to take some cells and brew them up-“

“Like an egg.”

“Like an egg. An egg but internally.”

“Yeah,” said the viviparous reptile, “yeah, like, that can work really well. I’ve always said it’s the highest test of one’s chemical know-how. It’s a lot of work. And forget about support from your family - forget about support from your PHYLUM - all you get is criticism.”

“I’m gonna do it on purpose forever,” you said. “The highest chemical, thermoregulatory, immunological, everything-logical challenge. It’s gonna be my thing.”

“I’m with you,” said a viviparous fish, stoutly. “Representation.”

You kindly don’t point out, once again, that you’re planning to do this outside the ocean, in a range of temperatures; carrying the dividing cells in a perfect 37.5• solution of saline broth in all terrains, breathing oxygen in a complicated matter, you know, bit more difficult; but you need your allies.

“It’s solid,” says the coelacanth.

“But is it metal?” says the deep-vent organism.

“Oh, it’s metal. I will feed the young,” you say, magnificently, “on an echo of the mother ocean. The first rich feast of cellular matter, the first hunt for sustenance, the first bite they sip of our liquid planet-”

Everyone waits.

“Will be a blood byproduct. My own blood byproduct.”

Everyone looks uncomfortable.

“But,” a hagfish says carefully, “don’t you outdoorsy guys still need your blood?”

You cough and explain that if you stay wet enough internally and hydrate frequently, you should be able to produce enough blood byproduct to sustain your hellish new invention until they can eat your peers.

The outrage that follows includes questions like “is this some furry shit?” And: “milk has WATER in it?”

And you won the bet. “My inner ocean is such a perfect homage to the primordial soup that I can personally cook up an entire live hairy mammal in it. And then generate excess blood byproduct from my body and give it to the small mammal until it gets big.”

That is an absolutely bonkers pitch, by the way, and everyone thought you were a showoff, even before the opposable thumbs. When the winter came, and the winter of winters, and the rain was acid and the air was poison on the tender shells of their eggs and choked the children in the shells; when the plants turned to poison, and the ocean turned against you all; when the climate changed, and the world’s children fell to shadow; your internal ocean was it that held true. A bet laid against the changing fates, a bet laid by a small beast against climate and geography and the forces of outer space, that you won. The dinosaurs fell and the pterosaurs fell and the marine reptiles dwindled, and you, furthest-child, least-looked-for, long-range-spaceship, held hope internally at 37.5 degrees. Which is another thing that humans do, sometimes.

It has been MONTHS, @elodieunderglass, and I am still mumbling “furthest-child, least-looked-for, long-range-spaceship” under my breath as a comfort phrase, and the FUCKING INDIGNITY that it came from this godforsaken post about THE HORRIBLE WETNESS OF MAMMALS!

“The horrible wetness of mammals” would make a great band name.

“hold hope, internally, at 37.5 degrees” and “Mammals internalize everything (eggs, grudges)” Now live permanently in my vocabulary

Text: It’s not my fault you’re human @derinthescarletpescatarian

Ink: Diamine Forest Gateau

Shoutout to the maned wolf, which is technically neither wolf nor fox but has its own genus called Chrysocyon! Why -

why are your legs so long?

I mean, intellectually, I understand that it’s because you live in grasslands and have evolved to be able to see over the grass, but emotionally… why? Are they?? Like that??? Surely there was a way to make your body more cohesive and proportional-looking?

i will never shut up about maned wolves

just look at it

look at this

one of the animals for sure

wretched beast

If it’s neither wolf nor fox, then it’s cat software running on giraffe hardware.

I think y'all should know that the closest relative to the maned wolf is the bush dog which looks like this.

I was not ready for corgi-bear.

you're definitely not ready for the maned wolf Front Angle then

Confirmed creature post

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

Broken notes… deactivated account… removed image….

Finally, we have them all.

In addition: OP’s name is just… gone. No “[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]” as is the standard for deactivated blogs.

Just the world “deactivated.” Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

This post has 2 sets of brackets…

Notoriously bad swimmer, Lamari 🐙

As a person with acne, this helps my self-image: studying the faces of people who have it, and realizing they are still beautiful even though their skin has imperfections.