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make ilya rozanov russkiy again

@sisituation

physically in siberia, mentally in the cottage
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on ilya rozanov and the english language

i wish i had the time to write out the full meta on this that lives in my brain but the short version is this: his english is really fucking good

i have been an EFL teacher for 20 years and he's better than 98% of the people i've taught. Don't be distracted by the occasional missed article or word he needs to double-check in the dictionary, this boy has been dropping advanced grammar like it's nothing from the very beginning.

the very first thing he says to shane,"You will not be so nice when we beat you," is grammatically perfect and contains:

  • a modal verb indicating the future (will)
  • correct negation and base verb form (not be)
  • an adverb of degree modifying an adjective (so nice)
  • a relative pronoun introducing a defining relative clause (when)
  • an idiomatic use of the verb 'beat'

and this is when he'd barely spent any time among english speakers! By the time he's been with boston for a few seasons, his english is genuinely outstanding, easy and fluent and grammatically complex. Yes, there will always be some things he doesn't know and yes there will be times when he struggles with it (stress, exhaustion, frustration, all of these are factors in the ability to produce a second language) but when you're writing his dialogue here are some vital points to remember:

  1. ilya himself is a very unreliable narrator when it comes to his english abilities. He canonically hates his accent and sees its existence as a personal failing. He has insanely high expectations for what he should be able to do in english but feels he can't. This is, and i cannot emphasise this too strongly, *very normal* for high-level language learners. The more you learn the more you realise you don't know, and the more you try to express complex ideas and run up against your own roadblocks the more frustrated you can become. People are genuinely very bad at assessing their own foreign language ability and ilya is no exception.
  2. the show itself tells us repeatedly that ilya's english sucks even when it very clearly does not. Shane's comments about it rolling off his tongue and asking him if he used google translate have zero basis in reality. The show tells us he's bad while showing us he's good, believe what you're shown.
  3. i'm gonna bet that neither rachel reid nor jacob tierney has any practical experience with english second language learners that could guide them in making ilya's english more authentic to the standard learner experience. This is fine, since his language ability is in no way the point of the show but it does mean that the disconnect between what's told and what's shown isn't intentional. Which means that fic writers absolutely could choose to ignore what's shown and write ilya as having more difficulties with english than we witness him having. But! If you do this, please, please do it with intent. Do some research on what russian speakers actually struggle with in english*. Don't just have him leave off every single article and call it a day. And if you are a native english speaker who speaks zero other languages, check your prejudices and actually listen to what he says and how he says it before you start typing.

seriously. This fandom has so many good fics already, like genuinely outstanding ones, but i can count on the fingers of one hand the ones i've read that represent ilya's english accurately to how it's portrayed in the show. Let's do better.

*the standard professional reference for EFL teachers is a book called Learner English by Michael Swan and Bernard Smith. It's got a very comprehensive section on russian learners and i am happy to share a .pdf copy with anyone who wants one. Shoot me a DM.

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The first and last words in the show are:

"Ilya Rozanov?", "Love you!" - Shane

Simply beautiful.

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russian petnames for shane

so ilya likes to mess with shane calling him some random russian petnames, right? no one asked but i have opinions and also work to do but unrelated

first, the long game ones:

  • moya gazonokosilka (lawn mower) - cursed, pretend it never happened. too random, doesn't sound fun or cute in russian, can't imagine russians saying that to their lovers
  • moy pomidor (tomato) - actually very cute, love it. shane blushes a lot (ilya is not capable of that for geopolitical reasons) so moy pomidor works perfectly. moy pomidorchik (diminutive) would be even cuter
  • moy lyubimiy (my love) - works good but skip moy, just lyubimiy

now some of my ideas. not suggesting that ilya would call shane that but i would:

  • shanezhka (spelling?) (diminutive for a шаньга - fluffy sweet cottage cheese bun) - sounds very close to shane's name and also has this tender suffix at the end that is just perfect for russian ears. why it's perfect? because this nezh (неж) thing at the end is the same as in the word tenderness/genleness (нежность), like hello? also shane is a sweet bun, has sweet buns and needs sweet buns (fuck you, microbiotic diet)
  • gagarochka (diminutive for a loon) - sounds fun and cute in russian
  • dushnila (stuffy person i guess?) - just a very natural and quite endearing way to call your boring husband when he is schooling you about that damn one (1) cigarette again
  • also dushnila sounds very close to dusha (soul), and calling your loved ones moya dusha (my soulmate?) is some deep russian shit. i can totally see ilya messing with shane switching between moy dushnila and moya dusha to check how his russian lessons are going, bonjour
  • ulitka or ulitochka (snail) - just how we call slow people, and shane is famously a very slow skater. also sounds cute and tender in russian
  • cursed but zhopa, zhopka (ass) - no jokes, very common petname. playful, fun, rolls off the tongue and has that you are an asshole love you so much undertone

that's it for now, might update later

#heated rivalry#hollanov#shane x ilya#heatedrivalry#shane hollander#ilya rozanov#make ilya rozanov russian again
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what i love about heated rivalry is that you can't watch it on the background while browsing your phone. you have to watch it, is simple.

for obvious glutius maximus reasons ofc, but also because of the fucking microexpressions, because the watery eyes and lip twiches and raised eyebrows and shaking off tension in silence after phone call and frowning and brethless okay and oh my god

it just gets better with every rewatch

#heated rivalry#shane x ilya#connor storrie#hudson williams#heatedrivalry
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im on a mission to make ilya the most russian man of russian men, so

instead of pancakes and smoothies he makes shane some slavic protein bombs called syrniki for breakfast. with a scoop of protein powder, blueberries for fiber and full fat cottage cheese (of course it's zero fat, shane, stop whining).

get that, microbiotic diet, you are fucking with the wrong man

#shane x ilya#hollanov#ilya rozanov#questionable headcanons#shane hollander#heated rivalry#make ilya rozanov russian again
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I need a fic where Shane learns about Russian diminutives and hits Ilya with "Ilyusha" just to see how he reacts

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I need a fic where Ilya introduces Shane to traditional russian banya steaming rituals because he obviously has banya in his ottawa mansion

(beating with bunches and maple leaves on canadian ass chicks are obligatory)

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ilyaaaa ☺️<3 ... concussion >:[ and a fractured collarbone :/ out for the playoffs but 🤗 could have been worse 😌☝️ ... i know 🙄 part of the game 🙄 we all get our bell 🔔 rung eventually right? 😊 ... heyy:) heyyyyyyyy:))) ... yes<3 bet-ter🥰🥰 ... i'm sorry i didn't text you last night 😔 ... i was excited about last night ☝️ i'm mostly mad 😠 at marleau for fucking that up 🙄😏 ... you know i had a whole plan to ask you something❗️... i was gonna ask you ☝️❗️ Will You cometomycottage this summer? 🥰🏡 ❌️don't❌️ go to russia🇷🇺 come to my houseee 😤💞 we'll have so much fun :D it's so private :D no one will knoww :D ... mmmwe could have a week💕 or even two✌️💕 we'd be completely alone 👯‍♂️💞 ~✨️together✨️~ ... oh no 🙄😒 ... ok bye bye 👋☺️ ... 🫡see you next season🫡 ... thank u😊<3 i appreciate it😤<3 ... hellooo😁

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you know shane’s feeling off his game post vegas sex scene because he doesn’t even lecture ilya for smoking

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