Maybe my most encapsulating tumblr experience with being nonbinary was when I got anon hate calling me the fattest ugliest “tranny” on the website, or somesuch. A then-mutual, trans woman, went “wow meeee” and got mad at me when I joked about having to fight me for the title, because that word doesn’t belong to me. The word that people call me. Like. Do I need to elaborate any farther about the ways in which I frequently feel shouldered-out of discussions of mutual experience on here? Right now, nobody can even seem to agree whether I’m tme or tma, it’s all contextual. People will just decide I’m a man when it’s rhetorically advantageous, but also dismiss my relationship with and observations of gender when I’m not just a man. It’s exhausting. It’s like everywhere I look, I see people expropriating my own experiences. I’ve talked about how I see it a lot with the specific strain of quasi-radical feminism that’s in right now, too. The assertion that patterns of abuse and oppression are essentially Female experiences. My fault for expecting Tumblr to be decent, yeah, but this is just permeating everything. I see it everywhere. It’s awful. Awful awful awful. And, frankly, it’s backed up by implicit social threats. Always feel like I’m getting ready for a fight any time I try to discuss how these supposedly axiomatic models just crumple when they hit somebody like me.
