swagophile:

I had a dream that Joe Biden kept trying to sneak back into the white house to become the president again and he had a variety of silly disguises like in one he was wearing a big moustache and top hat and introduced himself as Job Iden and tried to sell trump snake oil and trump was super interested until his moustache fell off and then JD vance was like “wait a minute.. that’s joe biden!!” amd he was like “welp, gotta run, see ya later jack!” and then all the evil white house staff were shaking their heads cus joe biden almost sneaked into the white house and the newest aid was there and she was like “That was a close call, Mr President” and his new aide was actually kamala harris wearing a big cartoon wig and they were all too distracted by joe biden to notice

sentimentalslut:

sentimentalslut:

sentimentalslut:

sentimentalslut:

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

framing these tags and hanging them up in my office to remind me that it can always be worse

rohirric-hunter:

We laugh at how The Art of War is basically just, “An army can’t fight if the soldiers aren’t eating,” but I’m reading this document about conservation of ancient yew trees and it legitimately says, “You should never fill the center of a hollow yew with concrete,” so I think that probably making blatantly obvious statements is just the bane of being a specialist in anything

odd1tief4ithburd3n:

aaa done

nerdpiggy:

1-7776:

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This is makign me sick why are the devs taking off his hat every frame and putting it back just to do it again for the rest of his life. do you think its funny? you sickos you freaks leave him alone you dont deserve him

[ID: edited Tails Gets Trolled panel. sonic says “Ok mario but it looks like you’re just walking normal”. shadow, edited to be wearing a mario hat and mustache, says “I know”. sonic looks annoyed and says “Ok well that’s stupid” /End ID]

ao3commentoftheday:

ao3commentoftheday:

ALT

I’ve enjoyed watching this post get a reblog here or there throughout the year and each time I think, “Whoops! Someone’s queue just hit last March!”

But it’s currently January and this is the top reblog in my notes at the moment. I didn’t even know a queue could run 10 months long.

All this to say, you’ve got 2 months to get your Ides memes ready 🗡️

h0nky:

I can’t fully explain it but this image and others like it that are so divorced from any reality or any statement whatsoever anymore are completely demonic

ploopy2:

Average bug guide

cosmosredshift7: