i just wanted you guys to know theres a porn parody of the force awakens and just when this storm trooper dude starts feeling this bitch up, kylo came in and started doing his usual tantrum shit in the background unprovoked, meanwhile oblivious to all thats happening and let me tell you no porn has ever cut me so off guard and brought me to tears in .01 seconds until now

me desperately clinging to my favorite stuffed animal while my parents argue loudly in their room: itsprobably my fault

my cat speaking telepathically: thats not true! your parents hated each other long before you were born this was inevitable

me: oh...

the spectre that hanuts my livingroom:

aš beviltiškai įsikibus į savo mėgstamiausią plušinį žaislą kol mano tėvai kitam kambary visa gerkle riejasi: taitikriausiai mano kaltė

telepatiškai šnekanti mano katė: netiesa! tavo tėvai negalėjo vienas kito pakęsti dar ilgai prieš tau gimstant šitai buvo neišvengiama

aš: a...

šmėkla besivaideananti mano salione:

a tale as old as time

could happen to any of us really

if i ever become a showrunner i will actually do the fake series finalle followed by the true ending where the popular gay ship is confirmed just so i can forever poison fandom with the idea that it can happen for real and then they will truly never let that hope go for all other subsequent shows they watch henceforth. just for the sake of making the world a worse place

unmute

You only need to know one thing: meow.

[Video transcript:

(Meow in the background. The meows continue through the video.)

So, (meow) today I am making... (meow) (snicker) pine- (meow) pinecone dice. (meow) (meow) My cat- (meow) He- (meow) He wants to narrate, too (meow). SHUT UP, THUNDER. (a beat.) He's not allowed in the bedroom (meow) 'cause he beats my other cat up (meow) and she's in here right now (meow) so he's throwing a fit.

Anyways, we're making pineco- (wheeze) i lost my train of thought.

So, I use- (meow) (exasperated) pi- i can't fucking these blank inserts (meow) to put the pinecones in (a series of meows interrupt) and then I put the pl- I had this all planned out and I was gonna explain exactly what I was doing and then the (meow)... the CAT... (meow) (a beat.) (Some purring) Can you (purring) hear that? Listen to that)(meow)

Anyways I hope you like the dice, bye.

End transcript]

Lore noises (gently tacked on to the end of every-other sentence): "mya-ho" "nya-hu" "mye-ha" "nyu-hu"

I'll be honest with you the "mya-ho" and "nyu-hu" are also getting stapled to the front of sentences

I sell nothing but yarn that seems pointless at first but will be crucial to the plot 3 hours later when its suddenly difficult to get back to my location to purchase it mya-ho

sometimes I reblog a post only to see the cool blog I’m trying to Get With also posted it further down and I could have reblogged it from them to keep up my months long wooing strategy of showing up in their notifications occasionally and now I gotta start all over

this is Art

people have said good things about you behind your back, without your knowledge. people have shared their love for you with others.

baseball different from how i remember it

glad they added new maps to baseball

Artiste Jodie Herrera. (Venus de Willendorf)