The reason they make you do group project at school is as a preventative measure against falling into conspiracy theories as an adult. The vast majority of the population can and will come out of the experience with a much better understanding of just how goddamn impossible it is to make multiple people do what they were supposed to do, everything they were supposed to do, and nothing but what they were supposed to do. You can't make five people do that, and yet billions of people are keeping this supposed machine rolling?
I love the hagiographies that are like "St. Christopher was 12 feet tall and frost giants helped him build an abbey out of the bones of a giant pig, which were gold"
And then you Google the abbey and it's clearly just French and made of slate rock or whatever.
pig giant bones turn slate and french after a few years
that makes sense
just some of the the changes in design for the Penguin Symbol on old Penguin Paperbacks
he did a little dance and for this crime he was imprisoned in a bubble
They liked his little dance so much they gave him a spotlight
anasandorpygoscelis
family album
whenever i google something and the "Your Search Returned 0 (Zero) Results You Idiot" yeti appears, I go into the inspect element HTML tree and delete their limbs one by one
die you stupid bitch
silly test subjects get put in the giant centrifuge
she's trying to figure out how to use this new discovery for world domination but for some reason she cant focus lately
Account Exec: (after an initial meeting with a prospect) Okay, I'm going to set up a demo with the customer.
Me: No, don't do that. I can't demo for them until we get the specialist team involved and they get me access to X Y connectors. Wait until they've responded about availability.
AE: I went ahead and scheduled it anyway. We can move it, if needed.
Me: Okay, I spoke to the specialist team. The environment won't be ready until a week after you scheduled the meeting. You need to move it.
AE: But the customer is expecting to meet then!! They've already forwarded the meeting to several important people internally!! You need to escalate this!!
Me:
The customer (in an email): Hey can we add an extra 30mins to the session tomorrow to demo your X product functionality as well?
Me and the other technical person assigned, immediately on the internal group chat: DO NOT COMMIT TO THAT UNTIL YOU GET MORE DETAILS FROM THEM ON THE USE CASE, 30 mins will likely not be enough time and we may need additional prep runway depending on required customization. This is probably not something we can turn around in 24hrs.
The AE: (responding to the customer’s email) Yes, of course! Let me know use cases when you get the chance!
Me:
I've told every level of management they'll let me get near that I prefer night shift. Specifically because there's never a customer tour or any kind of bigwig nonsense, and wr can just produce the product and keep rolling.
My last job had a big tour, customer was 60% of the stuff I handled. (we had other lines doing other stuff) One of the higher ups walked away from the tour to comment on how one of the other guys claimed he trained me on my machine. Looked him dead in the eye and told him I've never seen that guy touch my machine, and name dropped my trainer. Turns out he didn't like the guy claiming to have trained me and was looking for exactly what I gave him. I inadvertently saved the company 60% of my workload because the customer was about to pull a "we don't want that guy involved in the process, even just as a trainer."
Don't give me that petty nonsense. Let me do my job. Just put me in front of my machine and let me do my thing. That's what you pay me for.
