your life is not an optimization problem

"vibes", also known as "internal biases",

one of my easily triggered rants is that it’s reactionary to hate sad endings and horror and kink and narratives that deal with unpleasant real world issues, because what you’re demonstrating is a reluctance to engage with discomfort. people who say “I just don’t see the point of sad endings, we deal with enough crap in real life,” or stuff of that ilk are doubling down on their rejection of discomfort and rationalizing it, and guess what, that’s a reflex that doesn’t just end with media consumption.

got a text from my old boss that she got new kittens, which didn’t surprise me bc she’s infamous for having like 10+ cats at a time and is constantly taking in strays from neighboring farms. average thursday for her right. but then i go to actually open the image she sent and

unique markings indeed!

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'Look at all my stupid little figural bowls,' I say, in the warm, glowing tones of a woman showing off her firstborn child

Wake Up Dead Man does an excellent job at every turn of displaying the misogyny of the Catholic Church and I really can’t stop thinking about it.

The first thing we learn about Martha is that she runs EVERYTHING, and she truly does, down to feeding Wicks. She keeps the church running smoothly, she keeps Wicks alive and presentable for his entitled, hateful sermons. The church only functions with Martha there to make it so, and yet, only Father Jud seems to recognise how much she does for the church itself.

Simone funds everything. Out of the very few regulars that Wicks has whittled his congregation down to, Simone is the only person we hear of making such substantial donations, giving the church all of her savings for the promise of healing that Wicks cons her into believing that he can provide. Simone is seemingly the only person willing to give enough money to keep the church alive.

Vera raised Wicks’ heir for him, did exactly what her father wanted, and is given absolutely nothing in return by any of the three men she has devoted her life to. Cy is thrown at her, given no choice but to raise him, a boy who she first believes to be her brother who she later finds out has no connection to her at all. Motherhood is forced upon Vera no matter what affect it may have on her life. Vera’s life has always been used by the men around her as a tool for their own gain, yet even she knows she has not done enough to earn her father’s approval, only pleased with her, never proud.

And Grace, that poor girl, has been characterised as a greed driven beast who desecrated a church in a fit of shrieking demonic rage, shown against a blood red night sky. Grace, who was, in reality, a young single mother shunned by her small town, by her father who was no doubt turning her own son against her, who had her only chance to escape her prison of judgement stolen from her.

Her existence is what actually motivates Wicks’ sermons as a whole, the memory of “the harlot whore” ultimately the root of what drives him, raised on hatred and judgement that he inflicts upon anyone he can rather than the kindness and understanding he ought to practice and preach, the utter opposite of Father Jud. Arms up instead of out. Even somebody like Doctor Nat is only driven by his growing hatred of women after his wife left him.

Misogyny is so woven throughout the church that I think it makes it all the more powerful for Jud to rename the church after Grace. Perpetual Grace, not Fortitude against the twisted retelling of her existence, but preserving the one thing she was never afforded. It is only the women who find happiness in the end. Vera is free of Wicks, her father, Cy, all of the men who took her life and used it for themselves. Simone plays her cello again. Martha finds forgiveness, she finally lets go of the hatred that drove her entire life. Grace is given redemption and honour. Those poor girls