hey sexy what time do you plan on being done grieving

oh, honestly I was planning on reopening the same wounds again and again and again and again and again and again and again

my uncle (named big michael, you will soon find out why) who is 6’9 (Now You Understand) just arrived to sleep over at our place, i was not informed, there are no lights on in the hall, he has a key, and it is 34 minutes past midnight. So that is all to say, I do think with some certainty, that I am now, officially, the first human being who has come this close to seeing the boogie man in real life, and survived. He unfolded himself through that door frame like a poorly made origami crane from hell.

you can easily win a girls attention by eating all the drywall in her house

ITS FUCKING REAL???

The Bongcloud Counter-Gambit: Hotbox Variation

The horrors beyond your human comprehension are hungry

LISTEN TO ME RN, when the character is supposed to be rlly strong and muscular and buff PUT FAT ON THAT GUY fat is so fucking necessary to have a physical build that is so strong MAKE THEM FATTTTTTTTTTTTT

ur so right. revision:

Sailing Rigs by xkcd

Nyt The veggie email from Oct 2 is so real I think about it every time I get chickpeas at the store

“start your free trial now” what if i told u i am already experiencing trials. and the cost is more than i can bear