ace and i want to leave this mortal coil. my favourite colour is 4c0112. ask me about anything! am a certified dick, feel free to ask for credentials

bigjinx:

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but you’re not a kicked dog, are you? and you don’t really need the armor, do you?

prints

schofielded:

DB Cooper mystery solved: he survived and used the money to start the film website “IMDb” (I am DB)

tatters-the-bat:

Are they like….. Yknow…. [Goes to do a hand gesture but forgets I’m a wizard and I accidentally cast Lv50 lightning bolt]

miamaimania:
““Untitled” (2014) by Nguyễn Hoàng Nam ☀ Child in purple áo dài claims her persimmon kingdom
”

miamaimania:

“Untitled” (2014) by Nguyễn Hoàng Nam ☀ Child in purple áo dài claims her persimmon kingdom

calebsane:

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not a clue in the fucking world

knightclubbing:

worry not my lord, allow me to unscrew that jar for you. i would not want for you to strain your hand or break a nail. alright. hmm. HMMMM. HNNNGRGHHHHHH. HNNGGHHHH HRRRRRGHHH. AAAAAARGHHHHHHH fucking. squire fetch me my grippy gloves

pixiemuse:

unnameablethings:

knight who is constantly searching for a good and noble king to serve but cannot fucking find one for the life of him so he has to become the good and noble king himself.

and now all these other knights are coming around like “please let me serve you” and like obviously hes going to let them serve him thats the point of being a good and noble king but its also. very annoying. one of you become the good and noble king for once lets trade

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hauntedhunted:

tarot reader: draws the tower
me: thats bad isnt it
tarot reader: draws the tower again
me: uh oh
tarot reader: draws boeing 767

docd666:

alanaisalive:

throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight:

iguanamouth:

alanaisalive:

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

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oh shit

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As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.