Dear donation blogs: please stop contacting and following me, I'm in no place to donate and I physically can't donate. I understand you're in need but I can't help.

I love the idea of Yuuri Katsuki retiring from figure skating at age 29 with five World Championships under his belt and sort of sinks to obscurity because all he really wants to do after that is chill out with all of his niche hobbies, sitting next to Viktor at competitions with crochet hooks in his hands or a handheld video game. Every once in awhile he offers his thoughts on a step sequence. He’s there to offer moral support and to tell Viktor that his hair is shiny.

At the same time, there’s a YouTube channel rising to prominence with these really entertaining but really bizarre-ass tutorials (Or, like, tutorials is the closest thing to describe what they are because it’s not like there are step-by-step directions, but you can clearly see everything the person does and every once in awhile a line of text will pop up over a measuring cup that says “one cup of almond milk”) in which there is never any speaking or music, only the sound of paper folding or meat sizzling or scissors cutting, vaguely ASMR-y but also not. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason as to what the channel does. It’s not a cooking channel. It’s not a gadget channel. It’s not a needlework channel. It’s not one of those Kracie Poppin Cookin channels. The packages sometimes have Cyrillic on them, but also sometimes Kanji, but also sometimes they’re in English. The backdrop is usually the same kitchen but sometimes it’s various different hotel rooms. A dog sometimes barks in the background. The person who owns the channel can sometimes be seen in the reflection of a pot but it’s hard to make out.

People like to watch the channel because it’s relaxing and, despite the whole unknown-person-doing-weird-things-on-the-internet vibe, it’s non-threatening and unsinister.

Then, one day, a video is posted where the owner of the channel has the camera braced on the stove to show a pot of water boiling, and in the far background, very clearly, is five-time World Champion of Figure Skating Viktor Nikiforov, sitting on a sofa and reading a book.

Yuuri, who’s terribly cheeky, puts a line of text above Viktor’s head that says, “One husband.”

“HEY UM WHAT,” says the internet.

a random list of things you might not remember if you weren’t there while Yuuri on ice was just coming out because I was in a mood:

-when the trailer/preview dropped and everyone was like “uuuh looks gay” and then the actual first episode came out and we were like. Yep. Called it

-when someone finally translated Stammi Vicino and everyone got really excited because it was explicitly mlm

-for about the first three weeks everyone was like “there is no way this show can get any gayer” and then it regularly did so we all just gave up

-when people caught on the fact that the opening changed details with every new episode and got really excited, and that one person who made side by side comparisons of all openings every week

-that very short period of time when we genuinely couldn’t tell if Yurio was meant to be an antagonist or not

-I’m pretty sure Evgenia Medvedeva was there from the start and there was just this. Surreal feeling that along with all of us trash goblins one of the rising stars of the figure skating world was also very emotional over these anime boys

-on that note, those actual figure skating fans who were delivering a ton of meta over what actual skaters the characters were based on

-when everyone lost it after ep3 came out and we were all like! did Victor just tell Yuuri he loves him through food metaphors??

-just. “I’m a pork cutlet bowl fatale that enthralls men”. that was good shit

-the “Victor is going to leave Yuuri and break his heart!” discourse that came with that episode

-and then we all kinda calmed down with episode four and I remember everyone crying because,,,, they took one whole episode just for character development,,,,, we stan one (1) good anime

-the smol japanese skater that got really excited about meeting Yuuri and we were all like “mood”

-also when Christophe was introduced and everyone was just like, WHAT THE FUCK

-when ep6 came out with the preview for ep7 and everyone was like. THEY DIDN’T SHOW ANYTHING TOO GAY IN THE PREVIEW WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? SHOULD WE WORRY???? (no literally I just found some screenshots of a text I sent to a friend of mine that says “the preview doesn’t look gay enough and I don’t trust that”)

-when ep. 7 dropped and everyone and their mother lost their shit and YOI trended for a whole week on tumblr and people were joining the fandom in HORDES which to this day is probably still the most surreal fandom experience I’ve ever had

-idk if this was a universal thing but the italian subfandom had all those michele crispino memes about wine

-also when Sara Crispino got introduced and the subtitles said Sala and everyone was crying because it was just really bad

-everyone shouting to know Victor’s backstory

-that whole week of being 100% convinced Makkachin would die, fun times

-when episode? 10 I think? came out and it was revealed that Yuuri had seduced Victor at the afterparty the previous year and everyone was LOSING IT

- that whole episode just killed everyone tbh

-also Otabek showed up and people were thirsting reaaal hard

-the Otayuri discourse which I’m assuming continues to this day

-HAMSTER META

-“I will give you something gold and shiny for your birthday” and everyone being like. Are they tricking us into thinking it’s a medal when it’s, in fact, a wedding ring, or are they tricking us into thinking it’s a wedding ring when it is, in fact, a medal?

-everyone crying after episode 11 and all the meta on what was gonna happen. I think the general opinion was that Yuuri would win gold and then he and Victor would retire together lmao

-also when it got strongly implied that Christophe had a boyfriend and people got really emotional, that was cute

-I just remember everyone dying over the final episode, with the freaking Stammi Vicino duet, tbh

-overall it was just a freaking wild experience and two years later I’m still so glad I was there for that

EDIT:

-people in the notes pointed out that I forgot that bit in episode?? Uuh something beteeen 2 to 4 where there was a comment on Victor’s thinning hairline and everyone got SUPER CONVINCED Victor was going to die of cancer, people made amvs of that shit, it was so dramatic

the plot to yoi is genuinely so fucking funny like. this dude got drunk and danced with me and i was so haunted by his beauty all year that i quit my job as a world famous athlete and flew to japan. turns out he doesn't remember our first meeting and thought i was just a lunatic who showed up at his door and decided i was his boyfriend and he went along with it because im hot. we're engaged now

yoi from viktor's perspective: my darling my lost love.. finally we reunite and can be together! i will teach you everything i know and stay by your side and you will finally get all the love you deserve💛

yuuri's perspective: why is my celebrity crush in my house and how do i make him leave

its been a thousand years but i am still thinking about them

I hate when I’m in the mood for something very specific in which searching tags is basically useless.

i think the craziest part of ice ado cancellation to me is like. i remember checking the yoi tag last year and was disappointed by just. the absolute flood of "i lost my passion for this show my inner yoi fan is going into hibernation until ice ado comes out" type posts, but just kinda shrugged and went on because hey, i kinda moved on to different fandoms too.

but than the cancellation news dropped and i check the tag and yeah. there's a lot of people expressing their disappointment and anger with mappa, but there's also so much new art, new posts of people expressing their love for the show and what we were so fortunate to have been given despite everything and i just.

can we promise to keep this fandom alive? to survive just like we did back in 2017-2019 when there was nothing new but the occasional official promo art or a stage play or even skygem's retirement au? older fandoms than us have survived for longer with their newest canon content being decades ago, surely we can all have fun rediscovering and continuing our love for this wonderful story of rediscovering and reinventing what the word love means, whether on the ice or off it.

99% of what I read is angst but you know what my secret favorite fanfiction category is? Outsider POV. I love a good fic where we’re in the perspective of characters who have no idea what the fuck is going on and are stuck watching our MCs be absolutely ridiculous. I love every version of this trope. It could be mostly text based. It could be mostly social media based. As long as it checks the boxes? I’m all in. You don’t understand. I think the first one of these I read was with Sam and Dean Winchester as kids in school from the perspective of a guidance counselor. I have been ruined. I have read every fic I could find with the premise of SkyGem’s Retirement AU (Yuri On Ice). I read White Collar DC crossover fanfiction despite not knowing or caring about White Collar because I treat it like outsider POV fanfictions with a fun identity reveal element. My favorite My Hero Academia fanfiction of all time is entirely made up of social media bit and bobs (tumblr posts, twitter posts, text message chains, etc). I am currently reading a Carmen Sandiego fic like this and it is such a crack fic. It is so unserious. I can’t put it down. I am so hooked.

So... i love them very much

some of u should have an OnlyClowns account

what the fuck do you think a tumblr is

some of u should have an OnlyClowns account

what the fuck do you think a tumblr is

With three movies to compare between, I really appreciate how each Knives Out movie explores justice from a different thematic angle, not based on the murder that was committed but based on the cruelty that led to that murder.

In Knives Out, a compassionate, ethical young woman treats everyone around her with generosity, and the people around her repeatedly try to take advantage of her kindness to force her into losing the fortune that was gifted to her by a dear friend. There, justice means that she keeps the fortune and decides that actually, she doesn't have to be kind and giving to people who've proven themselves assholes.

In Glass Onion, a woman loses her sister to a gang of wealthy, successful people who've sacrificed their principles for the sake of ambition and ego. There, justice means that everyone involved will be made notorious: whatever their other accomplishments, they will forever be known for being complicit in the burning of the most famous painting in history.

In Wake Up Dead Man, the church takes advantage of a young girl's loyalty and faith to place her under a lifelong burden and fill her with guilt, shame, and hatred. Justice means helping her understand what was done to her and the women around her, and giving her compassion so she can find peace.

This is cool because it means the movies contradict each other! The compassionate justice of Wake Up Dead Man would be totally misplaced in Knives Out, and so would the toppling-monuments justice of Glass Onion. And because each movie has something different to say, they all stand on their own and feel fresh.

This is also why Benoit Blanc is the uniting figure but never the protagonist of these movies. He's an agent of legal justice in that he's the detective and it's his job to figure out whodunnit, but the protagonist -- Marta, Helen, and now Jud -- is always the character who delivers thematic justice.

yesterday I saw the ultimate teenage girl crossing the street and I adore everything about her

As more and more people are being forced to switch to Windows 11, Microsoft's most AI-malware-ridden OS yet, I've been putting together articles and links for how to undo the damage and save your battery, your RAM, your disk space, your privacy, and your sanity from this bullshit.

FIRST:

The easiest way to get rid of the majority of the bullshit that Windows is forcing on us, as of October 2025, is this one-stop-one-click debloat solution from a modern day hero:

It's very easy, even if you're not tech savvy or get scared of pop up windows saying "ARE YOU SURE?" Yes, you are sure, I promise. This program takes maybe two minutes and will save you SO MUCH pain, time, and money (and exploitation).

Now that you've done that, here's the cleanup, to catch the little shit that the debloat might have missed (most of this will already be done by debloat, but hey, it's good to double check).

Even just reading about some of these features makes me angry. Fucking Copilot and "Discover" AI scrapers are in Notepad. NOTEPAD. And then there's this uncanny valley garbage:

No uncanny valley video calls for me, thanks! (Also, what else is it doing while it scans your face and listens to your calls? What else, microsoft? Because there was a lot of memory being assigned to this program for a simple "smooths your skin" add on).

The truly insane number of places they have stuck ads on your own home computer is sickening. Become Unmarketable.

Bonus:

Some background programs you probably don't need that are taking up space and how to remove them (Microsoft forums, 2024)

Your Samsung Galaxy Phone comes with 22 apps you don't need (Android Police, 2025)

How to disable the AI in firefox (still the only browser that lets you do this permanently) (Windows Report, 2025)

1x01. Smile!

???

happy anniversary to the great molasses flood

DAMN IT I MISSED THE ANNIVERSARY