salty-rice:

e-v-roslyn:

wolffyluna:

rosyish:

tiktokstowatch:

I’m frothing at the mouth this is my DREAM

#as a professional carnie i gotta say#wlw have a special inate ability at these games i swear to god#there used to be some kind of year#yearly retreat for?? idk what but it was made of almost entirely butch women#and there would be like a whole day the part was just overrun by gay ladies#and when the catering hall let their party out they all wanted nothing more than clean fucking house for their gifriends and wivesa#we all knew it was coming. wed all be like todays the lesbian day guys get everything stocked#and this isnt like the o be weird or something abt butch women being strong or athletic#i mean they would win games of chance way more often than straight couples#gay dudes do not factor in cuz we all suck balls at those games literally they were all awful#one very out gay coworker i had would openly tell them like look from one of us to another keep walking these arent for us they just arent#but girls? girls dating other girls? it was on sight they all won all the time (via @transkeiichi)

“Today’s the lesbian day guys get everything stocked” is sending me

That’s it, I wanna be taken out on a lesbian carnival date and get some plushies

anotherpapercut:

currently reading Tony Hawk’s autobiography and apparently this shit has been happening to him since he was 14

theofficialjonbeers:

catgirlcadaver-deactivated20241:

I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.

Me without my glasses

tockthewatchdog:

disasterdrow:

valtsv:

ocs are great you just make up a guy and do whatever you want with them and it’s free and nobody can stop you

bored? invent a little guy in your head. it’s free and the cops can’t stop you

himborc:

bunniope:

oh youre bi? why dont you “bi” me some time with a distraction while i crack this safe ya fuckin goon

you got it boss (makes out with the bank teller and his wife)

fleshtown:

fleshtown:

*runs you over* *reverses on you*

get in

max1461:

kiralamouse:

bimbogollum:

f-identity:

bimbogollum:

Damn

[Image description:

Cropped image of medieval-stylized printed text, focused on a line which reads: “This wenche thikke”

/end image description]

Thank you for adding this image description! Just wanted to clarify that it’s not stylised, but actual Middle English. The text is from The Canterbury Tales.

Okay, had to track it down. It’s from the Reeve’s Tale, and it’s a description of a 20yo young woman:

This wenche thikke and wel y-growen was,
With camuse nose and yën greye as glas;
With buttokes brode and brestes rounde and hye,
But right fair was hir heer, I wol nat lye.

In modern English (had to look up “camuse”, so that’s as good as my source, but I know the rest)

This wench was thick and well-grown
With a pug nose and eyes grey as glass;
With buttocks broad and breasts round and high,
But right fair was her hair, I will not lie.

The fact that Chaucer had “big butt” and “I will not lie” within two lines of each other is causing me disproportionate amusement. Also the fact that “this wenche thikke” works equally well in Middle English and in modern slang.

punkrorschach:

a-lil-strawberry:

hawkeyedflame:

found out today that the “no don’t [action] your so sexy aha” meme is, in fact, NOT well known outside of internet circles and you should not just Say That to an unsuspecting coworker

good to know. you took one for the team

“pull the trigger piglet” is another one you can cross off the list, i said it to a coworker who proceeded to very seriously ask me not to call him a pig