I got addicted to fking cars
I simply love inserting my male privates into the exhaust of various automobiles. Trucks, SUV's, sedans... It's simply wonderful. As long as I don't get cancer, I will continue my mission to impregnate every car in the state of Mississippi. The other day, the owner of a car saw me gooning his car, so I took my privates out of it and he started shooting at me. Like, he saw how big my ♥♥♥♥ was and shot me anyway. He should be flattered that a guy with a big ♥♥♥♥ like mine ♥♥♥♥♥♥ his car.

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🎄!! Now that it’s finally DICKmas 👅💦Santa’s about to slide 🎅🏾 down your hot 🔥 hot chimney tonight. So lick 💦💋those juicy candy canes and drink up that creamy eggnog🍼, it’s about to get wet down at Santa’s workshop🍆! Don’t forgot to slide down that XXXtra 🎅🏾🎅🏾 big North Pole, and make sure your 🍪 cookie is yummy enough for Santa to eat👄! 👀 But are you bad enough to handle Santa’s giant juicy ♥♥♥♥?? Send this to 🔟 of your baddest ♥♥♥♥♥ elves💁🏼 If you get 5️⃣ back, youre on the naughty list this year🍆💦! If you get 🔟 back you better be ready for Santa’s hot ♨️CUMlate💦 If you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back you’ve got the most ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 🍬peppermint 🍬♥♥♥♥♥ in the North Pole! ❄️⛄ Hope you get to blow 🌬 lots of XXXmas 🎄♥♥♥♥, and that you get lots of XXXmas 🎄CUMMIES 💝💝 HAVE A SLUTTY 💦🍆👅DICKMAS YOU HOE HOE HOE!!! 🎅🏼

Please DO NOT announce to the server when you are going to masturbate. This has been a reoccurring issue, and I'm not sure why some people have such under-developed social skills that they think that a server full of mostly male strangers would need to know that. No one is going to be impressed and give you a high-five (especially considering where that hand has been). I don't want to add this to the rules, since it would be embarrassing for new users to see that we have a problem with this, but it is going to be enforced as a rule from now on.

If it occurs, you will be warned, then additional occurrences will be dealt with at the discretion of the mods. Thanks.

I do not wish to appear too forward or improper…but I must ask: as a woman-respecting feminist male, may I suckle one of your breasts my Queen? If this request does not interest you, please say so. For you, my Queen, deserve the utmost respect. Many of the penis-bearing gender sexualize women and view them as objects. However, my Queen, I do not share these barbaric views. Rather, I value the female species as superior, and I, a respectful male, merely request to lightly suck a singular breast on your gorgeous body; so I may behold and worship your perfection. I gleefully await your response my Queen.

Let's cut to the chase. I'll pay you $50 to step on my balls. You heard me. 50 buckaroos to step on my testicles. The amount of time it would take to step on my balls and then resume to your regular schedule is about 1 second if you are skilled at the job. If you do the math that is a profit equivalent to $3600 an hour. I may or may not offer some wiggle room in the amount that you will be compensated but i can asure you my offer is as generous as they come. Think about what you could do with $50. Alot of people would take that $50 and use it to buy some sort of goods but instead i like to invest that $50 in intangible service, which would be paying someone to step on my balls, hence this conversation. This is a limited time offer and if you don't want to be of service then i will go recruit another ball-stepper. Get back to me ASAP, these balls won't step on themselves.