So I was jorkin my schmeat, as usual, in my comp ranked game in CS2. Then, this absolute phat white ♥♥♥♥ of a specimen queues into my lobby. Now me being the beta cuck performative male that I am, when I heard him speak through his microphone, it commanded me to stand at attention and salute him, out of sheer weakness and willfulness to please my commander in charge. He said to me, "Little twinkle boy, go sit on A like a good boy." I came instantly. Buckets and buckets of liquid love pouring out of my short, thin member. After recuperating my senses after being forcefully led me to A, he proceeds to team kill me and my Bad Dragon Butt Plug™ instantly shot out of my anus, proceeding me to dump even more litres of ♥♥♥ from my short phallic member. At the end of the game, he told me to neck myself in my bathroom with a blow dryer cord.

+rep would play with this absolute specimen again.

It definitely was not what I expected. I had the pre-conceived notion that this would be like drinking actual turkey gravy, complete with greasy blobs and bits of turkey meat floating inside. I did not expect to see a brownish liquid that did have a distinct "fruit", so to speak, of fresh-baked turkey. I was careful when taking that first drink...it was actually a small sip, so I could judge the flavor. It was a mix of savory and sweet...something most sodas don't have. Then again, when, if ever, do you drink a primarily-salty drink? I don't like to waste anything, so it was a HUGE struggle to finish the entire bottle. I had to stretch it out over a few days just to drink the one I opened. I still have five bottles of the six-pack I ordered...those will be going to friends who may have heard of the Turkey Gravy Soda. As the title of this review says, I got this, just to say, "Yeah, I tried it!"

the apple is the stinky apple.

pffft, thrrrrrrppp, frrrrrrrt, puuuuu, squeee

APPLE IS THE APPLE FARTS