Lanzel's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 5:41am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 5:35am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 5:20am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 5:03pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 6:17am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 5:47pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 6:44pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 8:02pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Jul 4, 2017 @ 5:07am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Jul 4, 2017 @ 11:03pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked Jul 30, 2017 @ 11:58pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2017 @ 8:35pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 5:02pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Jul 4, 2017 @ 11:47pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 4:56pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Sep 27, 2019 @ 2:34am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 10:26pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Jul 5, 2017 @ 12:19am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 7:51pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 5:11am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Jul 4, 2017 @ 5:38am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 5:36am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 4:39pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 10:21pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 5:39pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 5:08pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 4:42pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked Jul 3, 2017 @ 7:20pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked Jul 28, 2017 @ 9:52pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2017 @ 9:02pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2017 @ 11:39pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked Jul 30, 2017 @ 11:40pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2017 @ 9:52pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2017 @ 9:12pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

6 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

6 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

9 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

1 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

17 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

13 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

16 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,955 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

20 / 30