http://www.truthcontest.com/entries/the-present-universal-truth/
bigdickbitch.com



On the island of Zig-Zag-Zog, in the sea of Ooberdeedoo,
Are some amazing creatures, that you would never see in a zoo!
They walk upright on two legs, like some kind of aliens from Mars,
But the strangest thing, (you would not believe!) is that these animals are driving cars!

A giraffe that bleats, a hippo that moos, they are the strangest beasts,
But that's not the strangest thing, my dear, they're standing on their two feets!
How did this happen? (I ask you!) How did these things evolve?
I'm determined to find out, you know, with all of my resolve!

Some say it was a meteorite, that gave them super powers,
Some say it was the weather, some say it was magic flowers.
Some say they simply did evolve, like apes evolved to men,
Some say it was the Man Upstairs who gave new life to them.

All I know is that they're here! I've seen them with my eyes,
I've seen their island, and their homes from my helicopter in the skys.
I've seen them race around all day in a racetrack made from stone.
I wish more people could see this. But I'm the only one.

So I brought them here to Europe. They've signed on the dotted line,
Now people pay to see them race, and the money is all mine!
You see there's something more amazing than animals in cars,
And that's the magic of contract law and drinking in bars.