Recent reviews by SirTeabiscuits

Spreading socialism as some virus pretending it is a ''''relligion'''. Those Americans didn't know what hit them.

> Play card
> Regret playing card
> Repeat

10/10 gameloop

Possibly the cutest game ever made

Meesa like

Took me until this game to realise that what I like most about city builders is just placing a ♥♥♥♥ ton of nature; this game does that and some more.

Bridges

10/10 GOTY

Short but sweet.

A short synopsis of what you will be doing in this game without spoiling too much: For a game called Metro you spend very little time in the metro tunnels the first two games were set in. Instead you take to the rails and set out on an exodus with your Russian waifu and some of your mutant-killing, and weapon hoarding buddy's from the Order. Through your travels you discover new lands and people. The landscapes range from winter-not-so-wonderlands infested with 'natural' wildlife to madmax-style deserts in which 'businessmen' trade their 'products'. Along your travels you'll meet all kind of interesting folk that will either try to kill you or treat you for what you are. The beauty lies in the fact that you, playing as our silent protagonist Artyom, can decide yourself what you are. If you have played a Metro game before you're probably familiar with the karma system, if not, you're out of luck because you're going to have to find out for yourself. Just know that your actions do have consequences, be sure to find this out before it's too late.


I could write about the million different things that make this game special and one-of-a-kind, but then I would be writing a 5000 word essay, which I've done enough in my life. Just know that this game is probably nothing like anything you've played before and it's more than worth every single penny and minute of your time. It is not necessary to play the previous games, but it does help with all the lore (which you can optionally read about in-game) and the degree to which you're attached to the characters in the game. All in all, I think I can confidentially say that Metro the best game franchise I've ever played.

Mafia II is set in a post world war 2 New York City. You play as a spaghetti slurper named Vito who goes through a lot of ♥♥♥♥ in this game. He returns from the fronts of WW2 and finds himself broke and jobless. Afterwards he does what the game promises in the title, he joins the mafia.

First ~10 chapters are awesome and really sell that Italian mafia feeling, last 2 chapters felt a bit rushed and didn't enjoy the same detail as the rest of the game. Nontheless, Vito is a well thought out character you can sympathise with. Also his long-life friend Joe is one of my favourites. There are some cool twists and turns in the story that keep you engaged, despite the relatively monotonous up and down driving you sometimes have to do to get from mission to mission. All in all the story is the soul reason you play this game and I rate it a solid mom's spaghetti out of ten.

If you're less into story and more into driving 'n shooting there's plenty of that too. Gun handling is meh but it's fun, and shouting 'you wanna mess with my family uh?' with an outrageous Italian accent whilst blasting a dozen of guys with a Thompson never gets old. However, don't go into the game expecting a GTA V style gameplay, it is not that kind of game. I found the car handling to be a bit 'slippery' but nevertheless also pretty solid. I have read of some people who don't share this sentiment, so that may be something every person has to decide for themselves. There's not a lot of RPG elements in the game except clothes shopping (which do look ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ awesome mind you, if I could i'd wear fedora's + raincoat IRL), and car customization. At its core, game mechanics are enjoyable and serve their purpose but they are not the reason I binged this game for four days straight.

Last, let me state the the DE of this game is not worth the extra money, just get the classic version. Graphics are marginally better and that's it. The original versions' graphics are still awesome and don't take away from the game. I've had some launcher issues and one bug that led to me redoing a mission, but nothing spectacularly game breaking or anything of that sort, still weird they did not fix this in the DE version.

Literally 3 mildly interesting quest that take 5 hours max. Do not recommended. Very disappointed that it just ended very abruptly.