“Tuck that shirt in, or I will guide you through a table saw”

“I don’t know how I’ll do it but i will make you caucasian.”

“After the game, alphabetical order, mass murder”

“If you two porkholes… even get near that thought — I will kill you. And I won’t be creative about it, I’m just gonna take you out in broad daylight, shoot you in the back of the head and pay the consequences.”

"For Pete's peppers, son! I'm talking about wanting a shot or your lemonade, not your man-gravy!"

- Coach Hines