Recent reviews by xX_C01N_CL1PPA_Xx

stupid ♥♥♥♥♥ game

I left my car meet in disgust after hearing someone casually claim that a Honda Civic Type R was inspired by an American muscle car. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. I went home, locked myself in the garage, and surrounded myself with every JDM car magazine from the 1990s to 2009. I devoured content on Skylines, Supras, RX-7s, and NSXs for days on end.
After emerging from my self-imposed exile, I drove straight to Daikoku Parking Area, the sacred ground for JDM enthusiasts. I parked next to a pristine Nissan Skyline GT-R R34, my dream car, and knelt before its RB26 engine, praying for guidance. Midway through my prayer, a security guard approached, but I scared him off by telling him his Mitsubishi Outlander could never dream of competing with JDM legends.
I explained to the R34 that the misguided individual meant no harm, but my words were interrupted. The spirit of the car itself awoke. It warned me of a future where two factions would rise: one led by me, defending the purity of JDM history, and the other, led by that misguided car enthusiast, believing modern cars like the Toyota GR Supra were on the same level as the classics. Marrying their flawed ideas would only hasten a catastrophe that would destroy everything the JDM era stood for.
I knew what I had to do. I covered myself in car wax, blessed by the greatest tuners of the 1990s, and walked confidently down the streets, the shine of my polish blinding all onlookers. No cop would pull me over, no fellow car enthusiast could question my knowledge, and no Evo would dare challenge me.

I reached a hill overlooking the car meet. There, below, were the very people who had defiled the sacred JDM legacy, smiling and laughing, oblivious to their heresy. My fury subsided when I heard it: the rumble of a 2JZ engine in the distance. I looked up, and there it was: a Toyota Supra Mk4, the king of the streets, flying by in all its twin-turbocharged glory.

I watched in awe as the Supra drifted effortlessly, tires screeching in holy synchronization. And then, without warning, it unleashed the full might of its NOS, a fiery explosion of JDM justice, wiping out the entire meet. As the smoke cleared, I stood alone, knowing that the spirit of the 1990s had given me a new beginning, free from those who had forgotten the legends.

However, my joy was short-lived. The wax coating was apparently not meant for prolonged use, and I ended up in the hospital with severe chemical burns. While recovering, I saw a news report that the Supra had, in fact, been on its way to a local drift event and had merely lost control. Why it targeted that meet was a mystery, but I knew. The spirit of JDM loved me, and I would forever be loyal to the golden era of Japanese engineering.

I left my fiancée at the altar, after she casually brought up her idea that the B-2 was inspired by the Ho 229 a week prior. I was devastated. I locked myself inside my room for 4 days and 4 nights, watching and reading nothing but B-2 content. After my retreat I snuck into Whiteman Air Force Base and broke into a B-2 hangar. I knelt before the mighty Spirit of California, named after my home state, and prayed for it's forgiveness for an entire night. I was briefly interrupted by an Air Force Security Forces member. But they were scared away after I told them that Security Forces are a bunch of nerds who weren't cut out for actual Air Force SF. I returned to praying, I told the Spirit that my fiancée meant no harm, that she was misguided. But the machine spirit of the B-2 awoke and spoke to me. It told me of an apocalyptic future, one in which the world was consumed by a war involving two factions. Those who believed the B-2 and the Ho 229 are one and the same, lead by my fiancée. And those, lead by me, who believe the B-2 is a creation of Jack Northrop's spirit, who visited Northrop engineers in their sleep and implanted them with the knowledge they would need to create the B-2. Marrying my fiancée would've triggered a series of events that would lead to this cataclysmic war, from which the Earth would never recover from. I knew what I had to do. I covered myself in the B-2's sacred RAM coating and proceeded to walk back home. I walked without fear, as the B-2's RAM would keep me safe from all harm. No police officer would approach me. No woman would look me in the eyes. No Flanker could track me. And no fish would get in my way. I walked and walked until I reached a hill that overlooked the church where my wedding would take place. I stared down at the people in attendance, her family and mine, and our friends. They disgusted me. There they stood, praising and smiling towards a woman who dared to compare the B-2 to a failed German dorito chip. But my disgust soon disappeared... I could hear it. I looked up and there it was... a B-2 flying overhead. I was in awe of its majestic form. It opened it's holy bomb bay. And unleashed a load of it's sacred, all American, bombs onto the church. I watched in silence as the B-2 destroyed everything and everyone I knew. But I knew it was worth it, the Spirit gave me something I had always wanted... a fresh start away from those Ho 229 worshipping heretics. But only after I went to the hospital. Because apparently RAM coatings are extremely toxic. While in the hospital, I saw on TV that the B-2 I witnessed actually strayed off course from its intended training target. Why the crew thought a church in the middle of Los Angeles was a good alternative, I will never know. But I knew that the Spirit of California was watching over me. It loved me. And I love the B-2.

its fun

killing lee should've been done in season 2 imo (j.f.l!!!)

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ great game for 4$

games ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥

its pretty cool

loved this game would spend hours finding secrets in the single player tried multiplayer a year later loved it so much, the pacing, the combat and not to mention the gunplay. all of this destroyed by some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in EA who would rather focus on apex instead of this master piece

pretty neat