THIS
that ahistorical bullshit about "public schools existing to churn out perfect workers?" is in fact ahistorical bullshit
public schools were HARD-WON by people who didn't want working-class children to be railroaded into the same hardships their parents had known via lack of education (and therefore lack of opportunities for higher-paying jobs)
yes they have their issues. but they are absolutely NOT designed to be tools of capitalism
obviously these are mostly nicknames aimed at annoying, possibly evil or just mischievous younger characters, but any others you can think of are also of interest to me. just wondering how common this is
not aimed at any fandom in particular, but some are. more prevalent. in certain ones.
honorable additions
let's put Scooby and the gang in a genuine horror movie situation, i wanna see what these freaks are truly capable of
"didn't they already do this with—" no. put them in a slasher film. put them in a BLOODBATH. put this van full of weirdoes in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre scenario i have FAITH in them
THEY'D DO WELL IN SAW
okay I'm thinking about this
not Saw specifically but a slasher with a legit body count. Summer camp slashers are overplayed but I think it really works because it's the type of thing the Scooby gang WOULD get caught up in.
like some of the counselors didn't show up (got got) so the head counselor calls his younger cousin to see if him and his friends can fill in last minute. They show up and they're a bunch of nerds, one of them even has an anxiety dog, and they don't have a big role at first. It seems like the movie is setting them up as cannon fodder.
and then the deaths start and suddenly the nerds are locked the fuck in. The little one with the glasses actually fixed the phone line and is taking stock of all their supplies in case the vehicles go out. The counselor's cousin who seemed like a himbo has set up a perimeter and made makeshift alarms for all the doors and windows, knows all the entry points. The anxious one and his dog are keeping the mood up with the snacks and activities that were supposed to be for the kids, making sure nobody panics and starts making dumb decisions. Somebody tried to grab the redhead and she flipped him over and had him zip-tied before anybody noticed. Weren't they a D&D group or something? What is happening???
[guy whose bedtime is approaching fast] I need to write one billion words right now. and draw everything that has ever existed.
How it feels to settle into bed and close my eyes and return to the totally made-up scenario I was last engrossed in
i would never work as a gothic heroine which is a shame because i’ve got the looks for it but the firm presence of mind to gtfo from anything unpleasant
The Phantom: I have heard you sing. I have heard you, my child. I am the A—
me as Christine Daaé: [under my breath as I gather my things hurriedly] Our Father, Who art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name
rogue master of the manor: [begins making flirtatious veiled threats towards me]
me, a poor governess: [immediately makes plans to get a different job]
ruined aristocrat who has a dark reputation spoken about only in whispers: May we speak alone for a moment?
me, Aware of things: No thank you, we’ve only just met. My aunt is my chaperone and a lovely conversationalist. Please do come and discuss her seventeen dogs
dark brooding guardian: [makes borderline asinine comments about my blossoming beauty]
me, packing my bags: Time for finishing school!
passionate possessive lover: You shall be mine! [yanks on my arm]
me: [immediately lays down heavily like a corpse]
passionate possessive lover: I am very strong, I can still ca—stop it with the noodle arms!!
me: [slunks down further]
he keeps trying to grab my waist but everytime he leans over me my enormous hat knocks him right in the jaw
he keeps struggling to pull me up but he steps on my dress every two seconds
he lifts my arms over my head and tries to jiggle me into sitting up on my knees but i just looked like a squashed horse stuffed into a dress like :p
he tries to take me by my leg but i just flop back down and my petticoats are silk and therefore very slippery
eventually he gets fed up and calls a stableboy over and the stableboy tries to take me up by my head, yanking at me at the neck, and then my passionate possessive lover is like “no you little idiot! here take one of her feet” and dashes over to take me by the arms but as he leans over my enormous hat knocks him in the jaw
they’re trying to slowly drag me over to his carriage but all of the townspeople have stepped out of their houses and shops
people are slowly looking out of their carriages like “what the fuck?”
meanwhile the stableboy has his grip on my leg and the passionate possessive lover is carrying me by my arms like a ragdoll with his head thrown back so he doesn’t get knocked in the jaw again by my enormous hat and my derrière is skidding against the dirt making a lady-shaped line from one end of the street to the next
“Kidnapping. This is literally kidnapping.”
“Well, yes, but… yes.”
“Someone should do something, right?”
“Oh, only if they manage to actually get her in the carriage. I want to see how long it takes for him to give up.”
“Really?”
“Son, she could decapitate him with that hat.”
“How do you know?”
“That’s what happened to the last ass who actually got her in the carriage.”
“This is not very elegant,” my possessive ex-lover pants. With his head tilted back, I can’t see his face, but I can see the bead of sweat rolling its way down his jaw.
“If you sweat on me,” I say. pointing my toe so that my foot runs the risk of slipping out of the shoe the stable boy is clinging to, “I’ll use the hat.”
My possessive ex-lover swears and digs his nails into my arm when my derriere catches on a cobblestone. “Aren’t you already using the hat?”
A boy standing just outside his front door, close enough to have heard my threat, whoops. “She says she’s going to use the hat!”
The ensuing cheer from our onlookers puts the first hint of unease in my ex-lover’s eyes.
Have you guys noticed how much the internet/technology just does not listen to you anymore? I click “don’t show this artist” on Spotify and I get recommended a music video by them on the front page. I click “skip this update” on a pop up every time I open a file organization app and it’s right back there every time. I click unsubscribe on a newsletter and it keeps showing up in my inbox!! I click “delete my account” and the next time I open the website they suggest I “reactivate”.
you can never go back. this is your one life. you had a bad childhood and that's it. you lost your teen years to mental illness and that's it. you're miserable in your 20s and that's it. you just go forward
I kind of can’t think of a more cohesive and relevant way to describe the stranger things finale other than the conclusion of jenny nicholson’s 6 year old rise of skywalker review: “I think the worst thing a franchise ending can do is make you feel kind of stupid and embarrassed for being so excited about it in the first place. I thought going into it that I might not like where some of the characters ended up, especially in an era of filmmaking where it seems more important to make sure the audience doesn’t predict what’s going to happen over making a satisfying ending, but I wasn’t even really sad or mad about any of the story developments because it was so sloppy that it totally broke my suspension of disbelief.”
the evil amulet is a classic but have we considered The Good Amulet . villain who switches sides because they put on The Amulet That Makes You Good and fell too deeply under its spell to ever take it back off and the heroes are trying to figure out how they feel about that ethics-wise
i’ve warmed up significantly towards the concept of small talk ever since i learned that its sole purpose is to make friendly noises.
as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”
small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.
i am motivated by wanting the other person to know i am friendly, so i have gotten pretty decent at small talk when i used to hate it.
hope is a skill
hope is a weapon you are trained to wield
favourite additions
You cannot hide this in the tags, bestie. This is too lovely to keep a secret.
Theodor would approve.
sick of binarygender people talking about how being asked their pronouns hurts their feelings because it's like. i'd fucking love it if someone asked my pronouns because they ALWAYS assume binary pronouns. "it's obvious, why would they ask me?" idk maybe they're trying to be polite and not assume wrong because gender presentation ≠ gender identity?? why are we being so regressive about acknowledging nonbinary people's existence nowadays
