YOU come from a place where people have horses as a status symbol, I come from a place where people have horses because they have too many DUIs to operate a car.

I think you can get a DWI or DUI on horseback but the cops don’t give enough of a fuck to enforce that and I have seen people riding their horses down the side of the road drinking a beer in broad daylight. Cutoff jean shorts and everything.

you can in fact get a DUI on a horse and i found this out while also googling another curiosity of mine when my partner got a power wheelchair which was, 'can you get a DUI in a wheelchair' and the answer is yes. yes you can.

I. Love this. 

Love it.

Oh my god

yes.

This is it, I found it, the funniest post on this entire godsforsaken website

I will never get over how brilliant this comic is. The artist could have just drawn a single image in response, but instead we have this masterpiece. The world doesn’t deserve @iguanamouth.

@musicaldaydreams

you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools

to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.

Flawless tags, @baddywronglegs

my grandma sent me a picture of my dog with his new xmas present and i need a fucking inhaler LOOK AT HIM

oh to feel a fraction of the unbridled joy he is experiencing

Don't worry, mutual with a zero-note post. I've added your post to my queue. So, in 6-8 business weeks, we're going to do big numbers! Such as, 1.

okay i have to show everyone my favorite tiktok.

you don’t understand. i could recite this from memory.

Megan Fox, ‘08

megan woman

they’re so awkward

As we're getting into the colder months people will be using hot water bottles more frequently here's just a little reminder you shouldn't be using hot water bottles if they're more than 2 years old as over time plastic disintergrats and the chances of the hot water bottle bursting rises each hot water bottle comes with a daisy wheel on the neck to tell you when they were made and here's a little picture to help you read it

three types of reaction on this post:

In terms of practical outcomes, there's basically no difference between porn worldbuilding and non-porn worldbuilding. I know a person who developed a lifelong interest in civic engineering after going down a mathematical rabbit hole trying to calculate how much semen would be required to exceed the capacity of their home town's storm drain system. Their expertise isn't less real for how it was acquired. I can only assume they have a fake answer lined up when job interviews ask what inspired them to get into the field, because can you imagine.

Keep breeding