something something the poetry of science etc

woah

yeah

to this day possibly one of my best ideas. someone get me a pitch meeting with the hallmark channel

I like this pitch as a concept. But given that it openly defies the vibe of a Hallmark Christmas movie, it can't be a true Hallmark movie. It has to be something else, just wearing the skin if a Hallmark movie. So, not a true romance, not a true comedy. But still a Christmas movie. Not about the holiday itself, but released and takes place then.

Taking this into consideration, it would be a slasher film.

The spirit of the one true saint nick that always sort of happens to be in these Hallmark movies fills the body of a disgruntled mall Santa in the quaint Holliday town. He has been given a divine santa mission. These corporate business lesbians must fall in love with plaid wearing Christmas tree veterinarian charity worker men... Or die.

The women are sent man after man, and with each failed introduction and seduction the men are executed in final destination type ways by the mall santa for failing. Each man, of course, takes the bullet *for* the woman they've been sent after because they're 100% the Hallmark romance man trope. But these men are also being snatched out of their normal lives to do this and so many people blame the women for their deaths.

The main duo survive, of course, by trapping the mall Santa in an old condemned chapel they had Christmas mass in as children and where their church would have its Christmas parties. They burn it down with the possessed Santa inside on Christmas Eve and they awake the next morning to find sooty footprints on their hearth, but the cookies are eaten and a gift is under the tree with a note saying "next year."

Taking this into

consideration, it would

be a slasher film.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Update:

—-

i encourage you to go to your favourite writer's ao3 page and comment on an older fic, because i can assure you that it will make their day. It can mean so much to see your work doesn't disappear into the void to be never seen again after a day of people interacting with it. Just, if you have the time, go comment on an older work

(pls reblog this to try and get as much writers a bit of appreciation)

This.

AO3 is an archive, not social media. It's not 'creepy' or 'weird' to comment on an AO3 author's older fics.

It's no different than going into a library and working your way through your favourite trad-published author's back catalogue of books.

As an AO3 author, seeing a comment on a fic that dropped off the front pages of a tag search months (or even years) ago is like thinking everyone has forgotten your birthday and then walking into your house to find a surprise party waiting for you.

Someone went through and kudos’d 25 or so fics of mine, and they didn’t leave a comment so I have no idea what they were reading or who it was. But I’m still so very grateful to them!!! Thank you, mystery reader!

Imagine if you met someone who can't eat watermelon. Not that they're allergic or unable somehow, but they just haven't figured out how to do that. So you're like "what the hell do you mean? it works just like eating anything else, you open your mouth, sink your teeth in, take a bite and chew. If you can bite, chew and swallow, you should be able to eat a watermelon."

And they agree that yes, they do know how to eat, in theory. The problem is the watermelon. Surely, if they figured out where to start, they'd figure out how to do it, but they have no clue how to get started with it.

This goes back and forth. No, it's not an emotional issue, they're not afraid of the watermelon. They can eat any other fruit, other sweet things, and other watery things ("it's watery?" they ask you). Is it the colour? Do they have a problem eating things that are green on the outside and red on the inside?

"It's red on the inside?"

Wait, they've never seen the inside? At this point you have to ask them how, exactly, they eat the watermelon. So to demonstrate, they take a whole, round, uncut watermelon, and try to bite straight into it. Even if they could bite through the crust, there's no way to get human jaws around it.

"Oh, you're supposed to cut it first. You cut the crust open and only chew through the insides."

And they had no idea. All their life this person has had no idea how to eat a watermelon, despite of being told again and again and again that it's easy, it's ridiculous to struggle with something so simple, there's no way that someone just can't eat a watermelon, how can you even mange to be bad at something as fucking simple as eating watermelon.

If someone can't do something after being repeatedly told to "just do it", there might be some key component missing that one side has no idea about, and the other side assumed was so obvious it goes without mention.

Yep.

https://drmaciver.substack.com/p/how-to-do-everything had a nice list of additional examples like this, with (non-)obvious major insights with regard to opening stitched bags, cleaning your bathroom floor, using a search engine, catching a ball, pinging somebody, proving a theorem, playing sudoku, passing as “normal”, improving your writing, generating novel ideas, and solving your problem.

My fiance played the clarinet when he was in school. When he was first learning to play, he rented an instrument from the school to learn on. He was the last chair clarinet, had been for years, because he could not make notes that required the register key. For years, they kept making him do embrature exercises and he started to get a few notes, with lots of effort. Eventually he had to get private lessons to stay in band.

Every time he tells me this story, his frustration by this point in the story, years later, is evident. He still sounds frustrated by it, despite all the time that passed. Teachers had been giving him crap for years because he hadn't been making much progress with the instrument.

When he got to the private instructor, she acknowledged his frustration, and asked him to try to play for her. He did, and she saw all he was doing. She then did something no one else had done before. She asked him to put his mouthpiece on a different clarinet and try to play the same notes. Like magic, it worked. She looked at the clarinet he had been using and found that the school's clarinet needed it's pads replaced.

He went from last chair to first chair nearly overnight, having been taught far more techniques than typically taught at that age just to overcome the broken instrument preventing him from making noise.

Sometimes you don't need to brute force a problem. Sometimes your clarinet is just broken.

Not quite sure why the clarinet addition got me crying, but here you go people: just in case, let's get you some new pads.

whenever i hate my writing and feel like every fanfic i’ve written is not good enough, i remember that:

I'm projecting because that's a lot of hair to manage and I would die

Gonna throw this one out there, y'all do what you want with it.

So I saw someone suggest that the three HUNTR/X girls can float now because of that last part of "This is what it sounds like". I propose an alternative - only Rumi can float. (After all, she was holding hands with Mira and Zoey when it happened. Maybe they were floating because of her.)

Was that one of her demon powers? Could she always float?

Rumi decides to test it one morning by stepping out over the railing of her balcony...just as her girls are coming into her room to tell her breakfast is ready.

"RUMI!" "UNNIE, NOOO!"

Of course they mad dash and reach for her frantically, but it's already too late. Rumi's gone over the edge. She's gone. She's gone. She's-

...she's floating back up?

Rumi is ecstatic about this. She can fly! She can actually fly! She looks to her girls, expecting them to be just as excited about this revelation as she is...and is instead met with still shell-shocked expressions and heavy panicked breathing.

"Girls...?"

Of course she wouldn't understand what the problem is, because as far as Rumi is concerned, she didn't really do anything wrong.

The fact that she views this as her "not doing anything wrong" is exactly what's wrong to Zoey and Mira!

Agatha All Along (2024) | Twilight (2008)

Dunno if anybody will see this but this person made a how to guide on how to make this at home (this guide is from 2 yrs ago btw)

KPDH x ATLA (for @/kentrix__ on twitter)

please support me on P@tre0n (it's 50% 🔞 content tho, just a heads up <3)

Bobby as Uncle Iroh! Ignore my art crimes plz, see the VISION

Spider-Man: Holiday Spectacular #1 (2025)

i DON'T need them to kiss i need them to come to the sobering realisation that their souls are merged and no part of them is extricable from the other anymore

Imagine waking up to find yourself in one of those "the mice and other small animals have a secret civilization hidden from humans" settings. And you've been turned into a mouse and you're horrified to discover that you were already living in that sort of setting but there's some sort of weird perception filter that causes mice to appear as nonsapient animals acting on instinct instead of the sapient creatures they actually are. Like, human brains cannot comprehend the mouse society. It's like an entirely separate wavelength of the same reality. Language becomes squeaks, furniture becomes scraps and rubbish, furnished homes become a dusty hole. You had no idea it was there, because you couldn't have any idea.

And if that existential horror wasn't enough, it becomes clear that the perception filter works both ways, and humans no longer appear sapient to you. You can read the books in your local mouse library just fine, but the human road signs? Incomprehensible scribbles with no rhyme or reason. The humans are lumbering, unpredictable creatures which fashion large structures with bizarre, barely comprehensible purposes. They don't seem sapient, they seem monstrous. Just as wild as a mountain lion or an eagle, and just as threatening, yet their excess materials are strangely useful. It's terrifying. Every once in a while you manage to identify something with how it is in your human memories, you can extrapolate what the humans must be doing or saying because you remember what the human context is, but you cannot recognize human civilization anymore. Because you're a mouse now, living in a mouse's reality. And nobody else has been through this, so nobody else in this mouse world can understand what it is you're going through. And you're so small.

Anyway would that be messed up or what? Give me some mildly horrifying mouse world isekai.

the most "fucking, fair enough i guess" response ive ever gotten to something i said was in the ER

me: hi, i need a rabies shot triage nurse: oh? why's that? me: i got bitten by a bat triage nurse: what were you doing that you got bitten by a bat at 3 in the morning? me: removing a bat from my bedroom

im given to understand that it generally takes a lot to leave ER staff speechless, but it sure was a good 5 seconds before she thought of anything to say to that

#prev u say sol but u see. i have reblogged this post at least 3 times at different points in the past#bC PEOPLE KEEP SENDING IT TO ME!!!#i will reblog as usual.

@solipseismic i am FASCINATED to discover that you are a real person and not a fictional character because this has been tagged about you often enough that i assumed it was a fandom thing. is your story any more interesting than mine or did it just make a disproportionately massive impression on your fiend group?

i had to take a moment to compose myself this (fandom thing) is possibly the funniest thing anyone's ever said about me. probably not more interesting but like 200% more stupid and so accordingly has made a bit of an impression on most of the people who know me

>be me (freshman living in college dorm)

>go for a walk in the beautiful spring weather

>there is a bat on the sidewalk in the middle of the day

>sidebar to note that at this point in life my bat knowledge solely consists of "usually flying" and "only comes out at night"

>how terrible this bat must be disoriented by the bright sunlight (middle of the day) and fell from where it was ........................... roosting (on the sidewalk)

>if i put this bat in a box with some water and then bring it back out at night maybe it will have recovered enough from the. sun

>text my roommate asking him to put a towel in a box

>i pick up the bat (on the sidewalk) (middle of the day) (no gloves)

>one bat in a box later i log onto tumblr dot com and post something along the lines of: does anyone know what to do in case of accidental bat acquisition

>mutual from area with many bats: you need to get rabies shots IMMEDIATELY

>i have no car (freshman in college dorms)

>surely it isn't that serious

>thanks to google i now have 200% more bat knowledge and Boy I Fucked Up

>me to my mutual: it only bit me a few times and its teeth are so tiny it didn't even break the skin i'm sure i'll be fine :)

>i am of a curious nature so i google rabies symptoms

>oh! i need to get rabies shots!

so my ER experience was actually something pretty similar

me: hi, i need a rabies shot

triage nurse: oh? why's that?

me: i got bitten by a bat

triage nurse: what were you doing that you got bitten by a bat in the middle of the day?

me: picking up a bat off the sidewalk

triage nurse:

Every day I see things that make me think insurance needs to cover the rabies vaccine for humans as a preventative

Could be worse. Could need the vaccine because they were breastfeeding the bat.

Could be worse. Could need

the vaccine because they were

breastfeeding the bat.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.